being used as an unpaid babysitter so in laws can go out without me

[Bravenewworld1]

OK. my in laws arrived on Thursday ( mother in law, sister in law her husband and their lovely 2 children ( 7yrs and 10 yrs). they live very far away so come to London 2 maybe 3 times a year. they were down for a few days and staying in a hotel not at our house. my husband said that the kids ( my niece and nephew would be staying for a sleep over on Friday. we have 2 kids the same age and they all get on brilliantly so I said that that would be great.
Friday comes- I found out that they will all be going out including my husband so really the sleep over is more over a would you babysit request. I didn't mind but I do wish it had been conveyed to me in that way. so Friday comes and they arrive at the house soon after I get back from work so chat for a while and to drop kids off. I make dinner while kids get ready and husband gets ready and then he leaves.
we have lovely evening kids go to bed really late as they are excited being with each other. now when we visit my mother in law the kids are always together , either in the grandmothers house or aunties house so sleep overs are common but I have never asked them to look after kids so I can go out. my husband may have as he often goes there with the kid but without me (maybe due to work or what ever).
he comes home about 2 in the morning. fine so far. however, next day he is hung over so doesn't help. there is no bread or milk in house but I give them toast and scones for breakfast. I take girls to shops and get back to make lunch. my niece and nephew don't like pasta or pizza so I suggest eggs on toast. hubby says he will get some bread/milk from shops. fist he offers to take my daughter to her club that she goes to on sat . I assume he will get the groceries after he drops her- its a 5 min car ride away. so we all wait at home. he doesn't come back for an hour as he drops her then goes to a café for tea maybe some lunch and then to read his book. then he picks her up and drives back home. I did not go to shops as I was expecting home to come home from shops. anyway it 3 by this time .
I rush out get food and make them lunch and inlaws come to ours at about 4. and they leave with kids at 6.
husband then goes to bed really early with out helping out- eg making dinner.
I feel pissed off - sister in law hasn't phoned to say thanks- got no help next day and I am not speaking to him as he thinks he has done nothing wrong AIBU ?

[Alpies]

Ps - I hope ur health is okay and you are taking care of yourself seeing as this man doesn't support u.

[Alpies]

OP I've read your previous threads. I am so sorry that you have to live with such a selfish nasty man.

His behaviour throughout your relationship is not acceptable. A loving man would not treat you like this.

You need to seriously consider whether he makes u happy and what is the purpose of staying together.

[Tiredemma]

Your husband sounds like an arsehole.

[GabsAlot]

i remember your other thread now

please leave this bully he has no respect for you

[muhajaba]

Did he explain why he felt it was o.k to go to a cafe and chill out when he knew you were all waiting for him? That's a pretty special level of disrespect and selfishness.

[honeyroar]

What a horrible, selfish husband you have to dump all that on you without so much as a do you mind! He would be getting all guns blazing from me, nevermind an early night.

[PuddleJumper01]

Your DH comes across as horrible. Show him this thread. Does he have an explanation?

[GabsAlot]

sorry what your dh offered your services and didnt even tell u he was going out with them

hes an arsehole-the cafe thing also not laziness hes taking the piss out of you

[Astro55]

Next time you need to be very clear - if DH agrees to a sleepover then he must be in attendance - the expectation there is seriously crap -

He should still pull his weight at home the next day - is be livid

[MeNeedSleep]

My jaw hit the floor when you said that he went to a cafe, a fucking cafe when you're at home with kids and no food!

Also, where the fuck was your sil the next day? Why didn't she come collect the kids in the morning? Sending mil at 4pm! I'd be so fucking pissed off!

[Alpies]

You're a saint. Your husband is an A-Hole!

[Lynnm63]

You have a husband problem. He won't change, what do you get from this relationship?

[Chippednailvarnishing]

There's a running theme with your DH, what you choose to do about it is upto you...

[bloodyteenagers]

Your haven't got a lazy husband. You have a selfish fuckwit. This is the only
Type that would others to go hungry whilst they thought of their own stomach.

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

Problem is definitely with your DH I'm afraid. You need to make sure you get your time paid back.

[MarvelMummy13]

oh my gosh op you must have felt really left out and under appreciated. My OH would never go out with family without me if we can't get a sitter he doesn't go. It would be weird you not being there and everyone else was like you're not part of the family . How terrible and then to be in a state the next day sounds like a complete idiot lots of making up to do !!

[EweAreHere]

Your husband is a jerk.

I'd have woken him right back up and gone out for a drink in a local pub with a friend, or just taken a book. and made him deal with the children last night after all that. Total jerk.

[Aeroflotgirl]

My goodness what a prick, I hope you read him the riot act, that was totally unacceptable. Sorry but that would not be happening again.

[Vegansnake]

Ofcourse yr sil was lovely....but why not suggest a babysitter so you could of gone out too,if she was that lovely ....nah not lovely at alll....I could not of done that to my sil...

[Vegansnake]

Oh dear...why did they not collect the kids at 9 am...also..the problem is yr husband.happy to use you and happy for his family to use you...totally out of order...is this an isolated incident or is he usually such a twat

[Quartz2208]

You have a husband issue clearly, he probably offered your services

[Bravenewworld1]

UPDATE- I phoned my sister in law - she was absolutely lovely and very very grateful so I have absolutely so gripe with her- I think my husband is just lazy and not bothering to pass on messages of gratitude

[Batteriesallgone]

Your H is a total arse. I would be so so mad. So disrespectful. The lunch thing - WTAF? Is he completely unable to think of other people or does he just not see you as a person? Does he hold down a job? Because he surely can't plead this is his natural level of incompetence, I mean he'd be incapable of normal life if that is the case.

I can't see this is the in-laws fault. If I was visiting DB and said oh let's go out, what should we do with all the kids, do you know a local babysitter and he said 'oh SIL will stay in with them don't worry it's my turn for a night out' then I wouldn't query it with her. H could easily have been the one who organised dumping the kids on you so they could all go out on the piss.

[highinthesky]

He's either thick-skinned or just plain thick.

You might have to spell out why you're feeling abused.