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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave my non-sporty daughter to it?!

41 replies

tryhard · 21/02/2017 16:19

She's 5. I think she's v active- she scoots the school run, we go swimming once a week, we have a trampoline in the garden which she's always on...but...as she gets older she appears to hate sport. Tried ballet, hated the structure, tried gymnastics, said it's fun & earned some badges but said it'stoo hard, frightened of falling off her bike, thinks football is for boys 😪 DH is super-sporty but I'm a real indoors type, though I do swim every week. Should I keep pushing the organised sports or leave her to it & accept she might be a bit of a bookworm like me?!

OP posts:

LadyPW · 21/02/2017 16:26

as she gets older
She's 5 - give her time When she really gets older she might find new activities that she really enjoys. Or she might not. Just see what she thinks about sporty stuff at school and take it from there.

SelfObsessionHoney · 21/02/2017 16:28

My mum tried to push sporty things on me. I just wasn't interested. Quite happy to go on a bike ride or run round the garden but organised sport were just not my bag. Still aren't.
Some kids don't like them, and that's ok, as long as they're getting enough exercise in other ways

arethereanyleftatall · 21/02/2017 16:32

She's 5. Of course leave her to it.

runninglikemad · 21/02/2017 16:33

er she's 5.....

GlacindaTheTroll · 21/02/2017 16:35

She's 5.

It's way too early for team games.

The important things now would be:

a) keeping her active - anything goes, really dancing, dashing about, swimming, scooting, cycling etc
b) working on hand/eye coordination, so throwing games (catch in the park, frisbee on the beach, even things like krazy golf and whack-a-mole
c) balance - hopping and skipping, hula hoop, elastics

Astro55 · 21/02/2017 16:35

The issue with organised sports is they are very target driven - wouldn't it be nice to go and play for fun?

Even the fun dance workshops are now competing - it's very sad

Original poster

tryhard · 21/02/2017 16:39

To give some context, she's the only girl in a class of 33 who isn't doing an organised sports club after school or at the weekends, most do at least 1, some do 3. But when we tried swimming, for example, she moaned every week, said the water was too cold etc but now she goes with me to my swimming pool & is actually swimming alone, which she never did in lessons, she loves it, but she isn't getting certificates because it's not a class & the others are & bring them in to show. My instinct is to leave her to it but like I say I'm a loafer not an exerciser so don't trust my instinct on this 😜

OP posts:

RubyWinterstorm · 21/02/2017 16:43

Bit early to decide she won't do any sports!

There are 100s of sports out there, try to keep an open mind and if between now and say 12 she shows any interest in any sport or activity, let her have a go.

No need to push her into sport at 5, but it is waaaay to early to write her off as "not sporty"!

Dormouse200 · 21/02/2017 16:44

How about signing her up for Beavers? Plenty of active games in most groups but not much pressure and scouts is something she can take forward as she gets older if she enjoys it.

hollinhurst84 · 21/02/2017 16:45

Maybe do the fun stuff, near me there's a trampoline place but attached to it is called clip and climb, it's like a climbing place with loads of different stuff and they get instruction and then can go off and have a go. Adults can go as well
Less sport, more just "active" different things

CosyNook · 21/02/2017 16:46

Theres a big difference between being sporty and keeping active/fit. Not everyone enjoys the competitiveness of sport, or winning. Thats why I hated school sports. Whats fun about running around a cold muddy field trying to score more points than the other team, or run faster? Who cares?

Its more important to enjoy what you are doing so if your DD likes to swim with you then thats great.

MistressMerryWeather · 21/02/2017 16:46

Is she bothered about never getting certificates?

She sounds happy enough to me.

The80sweregreat · 21/02/2017 16:47

My two hated sport and PE was a chore at school for them - one of the best bits about them leaving was no more PE!
however, they now both attend the gym, Ds1 likes American football and DS2 is fitter now then when he was at school. He liked karate and became a black belt a few years ago. nobody was more surprised than me to be honest.
They walked to school each day, i made sure they learnt to swim and tried all kinds of clubs, but neither were that interested. leave her to it, they do PE at school , she swims, i am sure she is fine. She might something she likes in a few years time, something her friends are into maybe?

BarbarianMum · 21/02/2017 16:51

Please don't pigeon-hole her as "non sporty" just because she hasn't enjoyed the few she's tried to date. She's 5, who knows what she may become.

YodaBest · 21/02/2017 16:54

For some perspective, I started ballet at seven and by 11 I was dancing in an international ballet company. The muscle and discipline just isn't there at 5.

Five is much too young to start anything. So what everyone has dragged their little kids to classes? Increasingly a race to the bottom IMO.

What happened to childhood!

Let her be and chill out.

She's not a "bookworm" either: she's a five year old, and isn't destined to be like you or like her father.

She is just like herself, and herself is unique, just perfect and good enough.

Please please please, stop trying to shoe horn her into a shape you think she should fit.

mouldycheesefan · 21/02/2017 16:54

Don't label her nonsporty whatever you do. She is only five. She has years to discover sports she enjoys Perhaps team sports aren't for her. How do you know she wouldn't love sailing, tennis, fencing, climbing, horse riding, karate, cycling, diving, synchronised swimming, windsurfing, yoga, athletics, kayaking, mountaineering, boxing, jujitsu, badminton, skateboarding, surfing, beach volleyball etc etc etc.
Please don't label her. Let her try new things. Let her find sports she enjoys, you can be a bookworm and still be sporty. I have sporty, musical, bookworms who love drama.

hollinhurst84 · 21/02/2017 16:55

I was never sporty either
Then I discovered spin, and lifting weights, and aerial hoop and found I was!
Circus skills classes might be a fun one for her

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 21/02/2017 16:55

She's just little!

After school sports and activities are nice but not mandatory. And very few of those children in those clubs will be prima ballerinas or pro footballers because their parents signed them up for after school stuff at 5.

Just let her play.

KingLooieCatz · 21/02/2017 16:56

DS was hopeless and uninterested in anything remotely organised at that age. He's just turned 8 and now has clear likes and interests. His swimming has come on in leaps and bounds since we stopped lessons! He is actually more determined. He was dead keen to do rugby and has surprised us by sticking with it through the colder months and holding his own with boys who have been playing for a couple of years. We have tried the odd activity along the way that just didn't work out. I honestly would never have guessed when he was 5 what he would be into at 8. Give it time.

EssentialHummus · 21/02/2017 16:57

Another one here who was "non-sporty" at 5 (and 10!) and ended up with a black belt in karate. Honestly, she'll be fine. Make sure she's moving about enough, that's it.

Archimandrite · 21/02/2017 16:59

She's fine as she is by the sounds of it. I wouldn't worry whether she's the only one in her class not to be doing an organised sport. If she enjoys her swims with you and likes being in the water that's great. If she's not bothered about certificates etc, then that's fine.

As long as she is active (enjoying her trampoline is perfect) and enjoys the physical things she does do, that's fine. She'll do PE at school and may well find things she does like enough to have a go at out of school. If she doesn't it's fine. Pushing her to do stuff now could well have the opposite effect to the one intended and really put her off which would be a shame.

listsandbudgets · 21/02/2017 16:59

She's 5.. don't worry let her just enjoy life.

DD detested all sports until she got invited to a rock climbing birthday party when she was 8 then we had to spend 2 years taking her to rock climbing centre every Sunday morning. Eventually she had to choose between climbing and choir and choir won (to the joy of our bank balance) but we still take her when we can. In fact we've just been and she's given her 4 year old brother his first lesson :)

Don't worry she'll either find something she loves or she won't either way she'll be your lovely little girl

Archimandrite · 21/02/2017 17:00

I think I've earned a certificate for the most times the word 'fine' can be squeezed into two small paragraphs!

Mrscog · 21/02/2017 17:00

I think the trend towards under 7's doing loads of organised activities is crazy to be honest. When I was at school no one had 'hobbies' as such until 6/7 at the earliest. Just do loads of stuff together and let her try stuff every now and then.

KERALA1 · 21/02/2017 17:01

My "non sporty", runs like a non sporty mum 8 year old has turned out to be a whizz at tennis. Had a few lessons and has great hand eye co-ordination. We played as a family at the weekend and DH was at her slamming the ball across the net. Shes only 5 she'll find her "thing" in time.

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