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AIBU?

To be worried that the college left my dd missing for two hours

42 replies

Worried61 · 17/02/2017 17:36

Without telling me or contacting. Dd 21 has asd and mental health problems. Dd went into town and didn't return for two hours. The college is residential so young people are in their care.

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blueskyinmarch · 17/02/2017 18:41

And she did come back safe. Maybe this shows she is making some progress that she can go out for a few hours and return safely. Is the phoning the police thing something they have for all young people or is it specific to your DD?

Worried61 · 17/02/2017 18:42

It's a Blanket policy across the service.

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Gizlotsmum · 17/02/2017 18:54

Honestly I would be furious. They have a set policy and you have obviously factored that into your choice. Is the policy that you daughter has to be in contact within the hour? How many attempts at contact do they make before they call? I would ask to see the policy again and talk through the difference in your understanding and how they enforce it. Luckily she was ok this time but what if she hadn't been.. that extra hour delay could have made the world of difference. If they feel she is able to be out longer then they need to agree this with you.

Worried61 · 17/02/2017 18:55

Policy clearly states an hour with no contact leads to police and parents being called. This isn't dependant on the individual

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Fighterofthenightman · 17/02/2017 19:10

I think the policy probably needs to be changed then. Either someone is able to go out on their own or they're not. There is little difference in terms of risk between 1 and 2 hours.

If someone is a risk to themselves or others they can do something within 5 minutes of leaving the unit. If they are safe to be out for an hour I don't see how that risk increases if it's 2 hours.

I worked within a similar system for a while and we wasted staff time and Police time with policies that didn't make sense.

Gizlotsmum · 17/02/2017 20:07

But you can get further away in 2 hours... be harder to find...

Fighterofthenightman · 17/02/2017 20:17

You can disappear in 10 minutes - hide even in the grounds of the unit or jump in a taxi, on a bus, on a train if the station is near enough.

If you call the Police to report a missing person from a unit they keep an eye out locally for someone of that description.

They don't go actively looking for the person within a particular time determined radius unless there is somewhere that person has been found before/somewhere they are likely to be headed.

mumeeee · 17/02/2017 20:19

Does the policy mean contact the police after an hour of the young person going out if there has been no contact? Or does it mean to contact the police within the hour after they were supposed to come back?

Lunde · 17/02/2017 20:26

I have a daughter with ASD and in this situation I would be glad of the flexibility of letting her return if it had not been an unreasonable amount of time - getting the police involved would potentially involve her being taken into custody and handcuffed if they percieved her as being difficult (Like the case of the 11 year old recently) which would be devastating

lalalalyra · 17/02/2017 20:33

I would want to know who made the decision not to follow the policy.

Accepting that one rule doesn't always fit all and tweaking bits to suit an individual pupil is one thing, but that shouldn't be done on the whim (can't think of a better word) of one staff member.

So, if there was a meeting and it was decided that they'd change the time limit to 2 hours for your DD then I'd be asking "Why wasn't I informed?"

If one member of staff decided on the day to just give her more time I'd be asking why they decided that and why that was a decision they made on the spot without any discussion with you and everyone involved in her care.

Devilishpyjamas · 17/02/2017 20:40

If she is an adult though the waters may be muddied. My soon to be 18 year old is not allowed out alone (he doesn't have a fob to open the locked front door) as he doesn't have capacity - but he has to have a DOLS assessment for that. I don't know whether colleges come under DOLS - or whether she is assessed as having capacity to decide when to go out but if she is allowed out alone there may be issues about how much they're allowed to check on her.

Can you raise a safeguarding concern with the local council - they usually have a number for vulnerable adults.

If she doesn't have capacity you could ask for a best interests meeting.

Worried61 · 17/02/2017 22:45

I could raise a safe guarding concern but would rather not at this stage

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cardibach · 17/02/2017 23:18

mumeee makes a good point. She was back an hour after she should have been, so does this mean they needn't phone? As she was allowed out for an hour so why call the police in that time?

Devilishpyjamas · 17/02/2017 23:18

No I can understand that.

I think the key thing is to understand whether she is viewed as having capacity (in which case she can choose to go out) or not (in which case she can't). A meeting sounds in order to understand where they see the boundaries as being. If she does have capacity to choose to go out then how will they be ensuring her safety?

ZackyVengeance · 17/02/2017 23:24

My dc is at an sn college and has DOL in place
I had never even heard of it, local council just did it

Worried61 · 17/02/2017 23:27

She was out for two hours they rung her mobile after one and she hadn't turned up or answered her phone.

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Worried61 · 18/02/2017 13:25

.

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