Fond dreams of the 70/80's

[ElderDruid]

OK so I'm giving myself away to be aged but I don't care. Was reading another super poster who is cooking a load of party food from scratch it made me think back to a time when I didn't have to be a pro at this adulting business.

All the foods our parents would cook, sitting in a pub with a can of coke and bag of crisps, parties with home made grub and cheese/pineapple hedgehogs. The local social club for weddings and parties. The same place hosting random bands on a Saturday, bingo on a Sunday. Or the bigger ones that had a bigger lounge, where you'd go after bowls on a Saturday, watching your family play on fruit machines, just wanting to be allowed to press the button.

Being able to bike for miles, swim in rivers, jump off bridges into the murky depths below. Exploring, so much exploring. Going cap in hand to a farmer who's track we'd followed, coming back at dusk on our bikes to see the gate bolted. Getting a brew & cake from the farmers wife, whilst the farmer told the best stories.

Going to the play park / recreation ground after hours with alcohol you paid a random adult outside a shop to get you. Cigarettes that cost next to nothing. Fish & chips on Fridays. As a rare rare treat a trip to the Chinese, which wasn't actually for you, but prawn crackers dipped in your Dads curry.

Babysitting for kids you barely knew, because the parents knew a friend of a friend of your parents. LP's, proper music you had to save for, not just click buy on iTunes. The Atari was tech golddust. No computers, the first when I was in my teens in the 80's being the Amstrad CPC 464, screeching tapes to load a game. That's right kids games on cassettes. Although you don't even know what a cassette is. Not to mention TV before Sky, how did we cope? We got Sky pretty much as it came out, even then there weren't a thousand channels. Your brother watching German TV late at night, because, well we all know why.

Those phones you had to dial with your finger in a circle. Any phonecall after 10 and you assumed someone must have died. VHS tapes to record stuff, with murder being a choice when someone taped over your programme. Has to be mentioned, trying to record to top 40 on a Sunday old style disc jockeys. None of this down with the kids stuff. Although possibly shouldn't mention them as not all are the paragons of virtue we believed. Disco's where you usually ended up in the school toilets with a friend with smudged mascara as a boy had been a dick. Hairstyles that are simply the opposite of the straightened within an in of its life look now. Not knowing if you lit a cigarette after using half a can of hair spray if the room would combust.

Kissing and smoking behind the bike sheds at school. MLiving in fear of getting in trouble because the teachers could launch the blackboard rubber at you or worse, the phone call home! Times when your parents would take the teachers word as tacit proof and you'd get a bollocking at school then worse at home.

Im sure I've missed loads out, but does anyone else remember those times of simplicity fondly?

[scaryteacher]

Fragrance for me (I was 18 in 84) was a rose scent from Boots in a round brown glass vial stoppered with a tiny cork. I also loved Lancome, O de Lancome. The boyfriend of the time wore Chanel Antaeus pour homme. I spent hours sniffing his neck.

There was the expectation that you might do better than your parents educationally. I was the first in my family to do A levels, and the first to get a degree, but dh paid for that after we were married, as my Dad wouldn't let me go at 18. There was more choice perhaps, in that there were still apprenticeships, technical colleges, and university wasn't the be all and end all.

I remember disappearing off for hours on my bike; walking to school; being taken out of school for holidays, and being given work to take with me; Swapshop, Zorro, the Flashing Blade, Belle and Sebastian, White Horses etc on Saturday morning TV. You had to make your own entertainment, I read, coloured in Altair design pads, read Jackie, played with make up.

Food was the same thing every week, and you could tell the day of the week by what Mum dished up.

I preferred the 80s to the 70s, as I loved the music, politics and fashion, and it felt in the 80s more hopeful perhaps, well in the early parts at least.

[Disappointednomore]

Arch yes that's exactly it - it's as horrific as I remember. Skerry you are right of course and I suppose that's why these public safety videos were considered appropriate- children had to be shown these messages because they were subject to less parental supervision. I hadn't really considered that aspect before.

[skerrywind]

The received wisdom at the time would have been that we were 'naughty' children. These days, someone might wonder if we were actually 'neglected' children.

Exactly. By the age of 5 I had seen two erect penises, saw another 5 year old having his head torn apart underneath a roundabout - a concrete floor and children were never supervised in playgrounds. My 4 year old friend ( whose mother had her head cooked in the coal fire fell off the top of the slide and had to have 17 stitches in her thigh- and I ( as a 5 year old) got a bollocking as I was supposed to be supervising my younger friend.

[MargotLovedTom1]

The children in that Finishing Line video are so slim compared to the average child I see now (I work in a school) - look at their arms! I'm not saying all children are fat these days, just that they generally have a notably heavier build.

I do think 'parenting' was much easier back then - my mother didn't have to tell my brother and I off for squabbling etc because we were never in, and rarely under her feet.

In the holidays I get asked every morning "What are we going to do today?"...something I never asked my own mother as I knew I'd be off out playing with my friends all day.

I think I'd have suited being a parent in the 70s or 80s .

[MargotLovedTom1]

Blimey Skerry I didn't experience anything like you did .

And what do you mean by 'had her head cooked in the coal fire'? She fell into the fire?

[skerrywind]

margot yes. She was 22 with 5 kids and a husband who regularly beat her. Her doctor gave her heavy tranquilisers for her "nerves". She liked to drink and the combination rendered her unconcious one night after a night out at the local club. She loved to wear her hair in a beehive style and it was always heavily laquered.
She seems to have fallen asleep downstairs one Saturday at home in front of an open coal fire. She fell head first into the fire, her hair must have ignighted like a tinderbox. She died and her head lay in the hot embers until the following morning where she was found by her 5 year old daughter.

Of course this could have happened in any decade, but the events leading up to her death were terrible, , jumping out of an upstairs window, I could her regularly being beaten by her husband, police were summoned on many occasions, but they did not intervene as it was considered to be a "domestic" situation.

I do think that her death was avoidable if the police did not have that 1970s attitude.

[skerrywind]

I merely give these examples of how the structure of society in the 1970s was not all rosy,

[mrsBeverleygoldberg]

I have dyspraxia so run like a bird trying to take off. I was openly laughed at on sports days by everyone including my parents. Ds1 has dyspraxia and they all know and doesn't get laughed at, he gets supported.
I had more freedom than my dcs have , although my parents were abusive so were glad I wasn't at home. I remember sitting in the trailer of a tractor while the combined harvester emptied the grain. Fishing with my net in a cold river. Playing out with the kids in my street.my dcs don't do that.
I'm glad there was no social media. I spent most of evenings at college falling down drunk and there is hardly any record of it, for future employers to see.

[ZackyVengeance]

i always find it sad that we don't seem to be allowed to remember the good times of being a child in the 70's.
bad stuff happens in every era.
but there was a lot of fun as well.
childhood was shorter though, lots of people left school at 16 and straight to work. i left school on the friday and started work on the monday aged 16.
i do think we had much more freedom as well. parents didn't get involved in every aspect of your life. i can only remember my mum getting involved in one child hood fall out, and that was only because it was driving her and the other mum up the wall.
i think it was easier to be a child then as you knew your "place' now children are treated as mini adults and we will pay for that in the future.

[VintagePerfumista]

Fragrances- Scary- would your Boots one have been part of their lavender and oatmeal range? Round brown glass bottle, cork stopper and you got (if you were lucky enough to get the gift set) a scratchy soap with bits of real oatmeal in!

Panache, Tweed etc have all been reformulated out of all recognition, but can be picked up virtually anywhere for less than a tenner in their new versions. Try ebay for the old stuff. If you need to smell the Anais Anais of your youth, you need "originale" on the box. They now do 2 versions. Aqua Manda has recently been relaunched, not a patch on its 70s psychedelic orangey-ness though.

I coveted the Boots own brand gift sets, with talc and bath cubes- lemon grass was my favourite (there is a set on ebay going for almost £50 and I have been so tempted...)

Scary- that gave me a lightbulb moment- in the 70s and 80s, yes, it was hoped that you, as a child, would go on to "do better" than your parents. Now it seems (at least from the so many threads on here) that you are expected, as a child of the noughties to live up to your parents' expectations, which is very different, and I'd say, a dangerous road to put kids onto.

I was/am from a working class family- Notts coalfields, dad and every male for generations down the pit. I think the difference between the working class poor/poorish then, and now, is that, due to their actually being jobs that the working classes/people who were not destined for university and white collar jobs did, even the poorest families had someone in work. Now, the only option for some is benefits. You aren't university material, you haven't got rich parents who are going to fund you- what's your option?

I often wonder about a particular family whose house we used to walk past to get to school. About 6 kids, don't know what the dad did, but I remember seeing the mother chasing one of the daughters down the road with a stick in her hand. We were awful- nobody wanted to sit next to any of these kids in school, because they smelled. They did smell. I hang my head in shame now at how we, and society, treated that family. I guess today there would be some kind of intervention by school at least. I remember our headmaster shouting at the mother in the corridor one day- one of the kids had had bad D and V all over the school and the HT was yelling at the mother that she clearly didn't give a shit about her children that she sent them to school when they were clearly so ill.

[mrsBeverleygoldberg]

I think it depends on your experience in that era. Looking back my childhood was horrendous as I was abused very successfully by my parents and one grandma. I don't look back fondly. But if you had a good childhood you will look back fondly. I can't choose to look at it positively as it was so traumatic. I do have occasional happy moments, which I hid from my parents as they would have taken them away from me.

[skerrywind]

does anyone else remember those times of simplicity fondly?

i always find it sad that we don't seem to be allowed to remember the good times of being a child in the 70's.

Zack the OP asked a question.

[FaFoutis]

In regard to "family appearing to be more important" in the 70s. Funnily enough lots of those parents who gave us so much 'freedom' now want nothing much to do with their grandchildren.

[ZackyVengeance]

skerrywind i know
but every thread ever about this time is about bad stuff.
comparing it to now.

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

I remember my late 60s and seventies childhood being very boring. Mum didn't drive, dad worked shifts, weekends were like treacle. But I do remember going on very random days out-a dairy farm near us had this big rotary milking machine (rotalactor) -that was worthy of a trip, randomly going to the airport viewing deck to watch planes take off. Money was tight-once or twice a year dad would buy pre paid credit at a department store and we got clothes and house stuff. I longed for store bought school jumpers-mum knitted everything. On the plus side-my slightly older and glamorous cousins bought English magazines and I lusted over Miners makeup (panda eyes anyone) and lentheric perfume.
I was lucky though, I had lovely kind parents, a wide inclusive family a comfy home and was fairly sheltered. It wasn't till I was older that I realised that mum was bored rigid, one of my best friends was systematically abused by her father, another suffered physical abuse, my dsis was in an ea marriage, the aboriginal kids were in the "remedial" class because of their race and on and on.

[FaFoutis]

i think it was easier to be a child then as you knew your "place' now children are treated as mini adults and we will pay for that in the future

Knowing your 'place' is not a good thing.

[skerrywind]

comparing it to now.

Zack that's exactly what we are doing.

[cherrypie11]

ElderDruid I remember many of those things. Cheese and pineapple hedgehogs at parties, being able to play outside until it was dark, those old phones. I have fond memories of some of those things. I also remember many chocolate bars that we cannot get any more (sob!) I fondly remember being able to buy Mars Bars for less than 30p. (Was born early 80s so also have many memories of 90s as well and all the chocolate I bought in my teens!)

Not so fond memories: Izal loo paper. Spam and lumpy mash for school dinners. Being made to eat all your horrible food even if you had to sit at table all lunchtime (or for hours if it was a meal at home, and risking being force fed and screamed at by parents)Teachers shouting in your face and being aggressive and humiliating their pupils. Powercuts. Smacking being acceptable, as well as verbal and emotional humiliation by teachers and parents. Boys at upper years in primary school lifting up our skirts and telling us they wanted to so stuff to us like take our underwear off, even pinning girls down on ground so they could pull our pants down. at 9 or 10 years old! I came from a naice lower middle class home and schools btw. I am glad sexting and social media weren't a thing in those times

[cherrypie11]

mrsBeverlyGoldberg I am sorry you went through all that. I relate, with regards to serious ongoing verbal and emotional abuse from a parent and a granparent as well as a teacher. It still affects me a bit, even now, although I have come a long way.

However, although my bad times were very bad, my good times were amazing. So I kind of consider myself quite fortunate really. I think if I hadn't had such good times as well, I would have hated the 80s.

[cherrypie11]

Also mental health issues and mild learning disabilities (I had both from a young age) were seen as bad behaviour and/or character flaws. I grew up in a strict- ish Christian home so there was much emphasis on disorders being either demon posession or bad character flaws. Scapegoating for mental illness was very common then. Not that I am saying what I went through was any worse than what others are posting on here. As I said, I had good times too. There weren't many rules, aside from "don't sin and don't buy things on a sunday"- I did have a lot of freedom. My physical health was good then so was outside a lot riding my bike and playing with my guinea pigs. (I still keep guinea pigs- a lifelong passion even in my 30s) I also remember long summer holidays! And up until GCSE year, aside from Common Entrance exams into your chosen school, exam pressures were very minimal compared to these days. I feel so sorry for today's kids, what with exam pressure and social media. If kids are bullied these days it follows them home. No safe place now, in thesed days of Facebook etc

[Zaphodsotherhead]

Like a previous poster - I think children's growing up now depends where you are. We are very rural, my kids (products of the 90's) grew up roaming all over, given chocolate by the whole village (they were the only kids in a village of 100 people at one point). Cycling to the river and swimming in it... all stuff I did as a child, although we lived in a town.

Grew up with no money and brought my children up alone with no money, so maybe we just had to 'make our own entertainment'? Did kids of the 70's/80's whose parents had money have the same pressure that kids today have? IE, is it all economic?

[SusanneLinder]

My mother ( single parent), most definitaly had her own mortgage ( without a guarantor ). I even remember it was with the Woolwich..
She also had her own Access card and bank account.

[justlikekatycarr]

I think the 70s and 80s were awful times to be a child, honestly. I was born early 1980s, by the way!

[Wishforsnow]

I grew up in the 70's in the south east and were I guess considered middle class. We had 2 cars anyway. I went to loads of clubs like dance, horse riding, brownies. I do remember cycling out for hours in a big gang from our street. My parents seemed to have loads more parties then than I do now and it seemed more sociable. I was taught that women can do anything and most of my friends had tutors etc to help for O levels. I still think that there is more pressure on kids now though.

[cherrypie11]

Zaphodsotherhead I was just thinking about the socio-economic differences. It strikes me that the bad things I mentioned in my posts were things that happened to children of any social class (eg abuse, bullying etc). As a child in a naice village with lower middle class economic situation, I would not have experienced some of the grimmest restrictions that children living in economically depressed areas would have. Rural and non-rural is a factor too, I agree, in terms of being able to play and have fun. Not that that aspect cancels out grim realities of poverty though-watched Ken Loach's Looks and Smiles recently. Set In 80s Sheffield- the grim tower blocks and smoky terraces, many steelworkers and miners on the dole, few jobs, few future prospects for the teeagers, but surrounded by beautiful moors and countryside. Ditto Kes (ok, 60s) and Price of Coal - beautiful Barnsley countryside- fun for children but no cancelling out the poverty, lack of opportunities when those kids come of age. BTW I love South Yorkshire so don't mean any of my comments disaparagingly.