Silent Treatment.

[LauraMarling]

I have been thinking back on my childhood a lot recently and my parents were always very strict and I resented them for it. But actually I've realised they were really cruel.

Aibu to think thy giving a child the silent treatment for days is abuse?
(See I'm not really sure if this is normal or not?) I was a 90's baby.
I have kids myself and would never treat them like that it made me feel so lonely.

GlitteryUnicorn did you speak to your GP first?
Or go for private counselling ?

I saw my GP as I am actually supposed to be having CBT for anxiety and depression but once we started to get into where my anxiety comes from it's become apparent that it's deeply rooted in my childhood so I've had to start addressing those issues in order to help my anxiety now.

I suspect I'll need to see someone privately once my NHS allocated sessions run out.

Shit I forgot I'd changed my username to post somewhere else?! Tis me anyway!

That's good you've got talking therapy! I always think I would be so bad at it but Yeah I've been getting treated for anxiety/depression for years too.
I just never felt a lot of stuff was relevant and have clearly wasted a lot of time. Seemingly waiting for someone to ask me the right questions.
Anyway my New Years resolution was to take control of my emotions/mental health so back to the GP I will go.
I'm rubbish at opening up most of the time it feels weird to just walk in and blurt a load of stuff out, but I suppose it's the only way to start?!

My childhood was abusive in other ways but I had silent treatment from a partner which made me feel anxious, distressed, distraught, powerless, like a nothing, so I imagine it must feel similar to a child whose parents are supposed to love them unconditionally.

Laura - my mother was a paeds nurse. I can't remember who said this to me, but they were "in the know" in some way... and to paraphrase what they said, it was that abusive people go into caring professions. Nursing, counselling...

My mother's favourite trick is to take offence at something and refuse point blank to speak to me, dragging everyone else into it (usually by reminding them of how horrid a daughter I actually am), for days. It took me years to cotton onto it. Does your mother have friends? Actual friends? Because mine doesn't. It took me years to work out that there were people whom she used... and the rest of the population were dirt beneath her feet (and her family... fell into the latter category!). My psychologist when I was 17 explained it to me as a power trip, essentially. They were right. Doesn't help me to deal with it, though, when I know she/my brothers haven't spoken since my now adult child was a baby...

I was an 80s baby too and as a child was sent straight up to bed. Toys removed and only allowed out to go to the toilet although the door wasn't locked. I would never go out of it. Literally spent hours crying to myself stopping to eat my tea alone and have my mum berate me and tell me unless I did something about myself I would end up jobless and homeless. Good it sounds awful now in the cold light of day but it wasn't until I was older that I have it much consideration. Oddly this must have stopped young as we now have an excellent relationship. I wonder whether she looks back and thought how childish and dreadful her own behaviour could be? This was not abuse in that time and she always prided herself on never hitting. It would have been over with weight quicker! For my own son he is only six months I look at his little face and wonder how is possible that anyone could hurt a child at all. There will probably be things we do now that are children will look back on and think "I can't believe they did that" !

Contrary my mum was also in the caring profession. Ironic really.

Also I can't scroll back far enough to see who said this happened to them but I also had to go nc after my wedding due to her behaviour.