To ask do you think children with a SAHP have a higher level of absence than those without?

[smyle]

just my hunch as I sent DS (5) off to school today when I was on the fence about if he was well enough. If I was at home I think I would have kept him at home, but when I took work as a consideration into the balance I thought he'd survive (and he did!) but putting him to bed tonight I reckon I'll have the same dilemma tomorrow - however tomorrow I'm working from home so will probably keep him off if he is the same... I do wonder if there are statistics out there as my hunch is when children and iffy and on the fence about if they are well enough for school or not, and work isn't a consideration then children can be kept off more easily. BTW I don't ask this with any judgement either side - I love being a working mum, but today I wished with my whole heart I was a stay at home parent! DS has a 100% attendance record since starting school (now Y1), and though he is a very healthy and robust lad I do think part of this is about our working lives - which actually makes me feel quite bad!

[allowlsthinkalot]

Well, it's not "rely on paracetamol" believe it's your choice whether to put up with pain or discomfort or use an otc painkiller to relieve it. But I wouldn't with old medication from my children. I've given calpol for teething etc but that's no reason to keep them home.

[allowlsthinkalot]

I err on the side of keeping them home. But think you're right that on a day when I was working I wouldn't have that luxury.

[Believeitornot]

Have you ever taken paracetamol for a headache? I sometimes take a couple for period pains. What about when you have a cold. Say runny or blocked nose? I've been known to take a couple of paracetamol when I've had no sleep (I have a toddler) and have an over tired raging headache

No I haven't. I don't rely on paracetamol for minor ailments such as those. Same with the kids. If they need calpol it's because they're really really ill. So shouldn't be at school.

The last time I had a painkiller was a local anesthetic post childbirth. So 5 years ago!

[CantstandmLMs]

I'm a nanny who works for the family even when all kids at school and their attendance is quite shocking to be honest. Even the slight moan of a headache or cold and they are off as the parents know I am here. They are passionate about their jobs so have no doubt if they didn't employ me the kids would be going unless REALLY unwell!
I can't moan though as I'm being paid but I often think their attendance records (one in particular) must be shocking! If I'm ever given the decision they go in and survive!

[LBOCS2]

I'm with FATE on this one. DD1 went to preschool with a dose of calpol inside her this morning - she has had a bit of an earache on and off this week and complained about it over breakfast. She's had a heavy cold (courtesy of preschool) which she has spread around, and this is what's left. She was full of beans, woke up extremely cheerful and had no temperature. Why wouldn't I send her in? Also, I'm just down the road if she does deteriorate.

As far as I'm concerned, school - like work - is not optional. If you can function unmedicated, take medicine to make you feel less grim then go in. If you can't function without taking anything, or have something contagious then stay off.

[FATEdestiny]

If you had a fever, which is usually what I use calpol for

Have you ever taken paracetamol for a headache? I sometimes take a couple for period pains. What about when you have a cold. Say runny or blocked nose? I've been known to take a couple of paracetamol when I've had no sleep (I have a toddler) and have an over tired raging headache.

None of these involve fever. All are routine reasons people take paracetamol.

Goodness me. I despair at the snowflakes here.

Maybe the discussion would be more appropriate that I'm happy to give my children Calpol when they are feeling a bit poorly. Being a bit poorly does not equal having a fever.

[dietcokeandwine]

sending children into school for the sake of an attendance record is poor parenting imo

In certain circumstances, a 100% attendance record can be seen as a child protection issue i.e. the parent does not have the ability to differentiate between a well child and a really sick one and needs support, or there is neglect going on. My DSis teaches in a school where a significant number of children are from difficult backgrounds and/or are poorly parented, and for many of those children a 'perfect' attendance record would (if there were other concerns or problems with that child) actually be a red flag.

[Saf1ya]

I'm a SAHM and tend to keep mine home if they have a heavy cold, etc. No need to send them in to risk it developing into anything worse / giving it to friends. That said, they're not ill much (maybe 2-3 days per term on average), but I have been known to keep them home simply because they are shattered - particularly if they have an important exam or performance coming up later in the week or something like that. It's done them no harm whatsoever . When it comes to attendance, I believe in quality over quantity They're all doing very well in top London independents, but it's full on and I can just sense when enough is enough. None of the schools they attend do this 100 per cent attendance thing, so nobody worries about that. I always make sure they have the right stuff / kit in their bags and support homework etc. I think this is far more important than 100 per cent attendance.

When they were at nursery, I used to sometimes take one look at the coughing / spluttering / vomiting / super snotty kids being dragged in and just turn around and go home. What were my kids actually going to be missing out on? The place was more like a holding facility anyway. We were paying for it and I suppose I viewed attendance as optional, if I'm absolutely honest.

[Believeitornot]

Sort FATE but your attitude is a strange one. You'd go in with calpol

Do you work? If you had a fever, which is usually what I use calpol for, I wouldn't want you in my office.

[Ellapaella]

I can only speak for myself - I work part time. I'm not particularly sympathetic to a cold and a sniffle so unless they were really poorly I would send them in. But if I really feel that they need to be at home then I take the day off or DH does, one of us can usually make time up at work and be reasonably flexible as long as its only on an occasional basis. I've never once felt that my employers have been arsey about me taking a day off for sick kids at short notice (i work in the NHS) but then I've probably only done it once or twice a year at most throughout my whole career so far. If it's my day off anyway, unless they were really poorly I would encourage them to go in on the premise that if they really don't get on well I can go and get them but to try it and see how they feel first.

[BoboChic]

When DD was very little (3 or 4) I always kept her at home if she was ill. One SAHM sent her son to school with a very unpleasant coughing and vomiting bug that he passed on to DD who was ill for three weeks. It made me . The teachers too used to tell parents no t to send their ill DC to school.

[FATEdestiny]

I fail to see the similarity between a feverish child being sent to school after Calpol, and an adult popping paracetamol and going to work.

Why are you bringing fever into it?

To defend your point?

The post being referred to (about being willing to give child Calpol at lunchtime, if needed) mentions nothing about fever. It is exactly the same as the adult at work example.

I despair.

[HeyRoly]

I fail to see the similarity between a feverish child being sent to school after Calpol, and an adult popping paracetamol and going to work.

Feverish kids have no business being at school. Never mind the fact they'll feel like shit by lunchtime, they're going to infect the entire class.

Utterly selfish and short sighted behaviour.

[ThanksForAllTheFish]

I do think if you need to go to work then you will be more inclined to send them in when on the fence and keep them off if you are SAHP or part time and it is a day off.

Knowing when to keep them off can be tricky. I recently had DD off one day through her 2 week cold but that was after a whole night of coughing with very little sleep and her generally feeling lousy. The day off helped her as she got to sleep through the day and recovered better. If I had to go to work that day I would have probably have sent her in.

Last year she got scarlet fever and was off sick for just over a week (although was ill the week before over Easter so 2 weeks into illness by this point), I sent her back in when she still had 2 days left of her 10 day antibiotic course as she was much better and appeared to have made a recovery (also no long infectious by this point).

I should have kept her off though as 4 days later the strawberry tongue and strep throat reappeared and needed another 10 day antibiotic course as the first round didn't shift it completely. After that I kept her off the duration until she had finished the 2nd course and I felt guilty I sent her back too soon the first time.

[FATEdestiny]

Who would send a child into school that had needed a dose of calpol??

You've never taken paracetamol during your working day?

I can imagine the phone call: "Sorry boss, I took paracetamol this morning and feel loads better. However, reckon I these cold symptoms might start again this afternoon unless i have another dose at lunch. I therefore cannot possibly come to work today."

I despair.

[tooclosetocall]

I agree.
I was a SAHP for the first few years but I didn't keep DC at home unnecessarily. You can't keep children away from school for just sniffles or lack of sleep.

There are a number of parents at school who send their children into class regardless and hope they don't get the 'dreaded call' to collect. Those are their own words not mine.
I understand parents working ft have a harder time of it juggling time away from work with the poorly DC's but this is something people should bear in mind when planning a family. Children do and will become poorly....schools are hot houses for bugs so it's common sense really. And it's a vicious circle.

Sending children into school and infecting others for the sake of an attendance record is poor parenting imo.

[AndNowItsSeven]

Probably is not fair though, the school will be pleased Ofsted is off their back but sick dc should be at home.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

I'm a SAHM and my DC are only off if they're throwing up, have diarrhoea or a temperature, or once when DD had a skin infection which was highly contagious. DS1 was off quite a lot, because he had to stay in hospital for a fortnight at a time when he was ill.

[early30smum]

I'm not sure. But one thing that I've noticed a LOT that annoys me so much is when SAHP send their (clearly) unwell kids into school. Once, a friend of mine, SAHP with 3 school age kids, told me with a straight face that she'd send her DD to school that morning even though she'd been sick in the night as she 'seemed fine' and she (Mum) didn't want to miss her lunch with friends. WTF?!!!!! I don't get paid if I don't go to work. So if my kids are a little bit unwell, e.g. Bad cold, then yes I send them if I think they can cope. If I was a sahm I'd maybe be more likely to keep them off. But even working, if they are properly ill I keep them off and just try to work it out. It's hard though and I do have sympathy for working parents with not much family support who do send their kids in when not well. But SAHP who do it?! No.

[user1471451564]

And then I feel a bit wondering when my child will come down with it. I think as parents we all feel that way sometimes.

[user1471451564]

Sorry I should have been more specific. I agree with Notso in that colds yes you often do feel worse in the morning and calpol does help and by afternoon have perked right up. I was speaking (and I should have said, my bad) about children with fevers. I too will send mine to school with a cold (not a hacking cough though) and i do appreciate what a hard balancing act it must be for working parents but I've seen children sent to school who really should be at home and i always feel massively for them.

[amusedbush]

While we were young my mum worked weekends so that she could look after us while dad was at work and we practically needed bubonic plague to get a day off school.

[Notso]

I disagree with you there user1471etc, often with colds in particular they make you feel worse in the morning and at night, so a dose of paracetamol can get them through until they feel a bit better.
If I kept mine off for minor colds they would never be in, the staff most certainly don't off every time they feel a bit rough. DC4's teacher hasn't been able to speak all week.

[Notso]

I think I'm less likely to keep mine off if I'm not sure how ill they are as a SAHM knowing I am available to pick them up. When I was working I dreaded having the call and having to leave people unprepared for the rest of the day. If I phoned in first thing then the others could plan around me.
DH's company pay a £1000 attendance bonus for those who don't take any sick days and £500 if you only have 1, he annoyingly brings this attitude home to the kids and always asks if they really need to be off and interrogates me as to why I've kept them off.

However one SAHM I know keeps her DC off for the slightest thing and likes to have them at home well for a day before they go back in, she also sees the 10 days 'holiday' as a right (in Wales so holidays are almost always authorised).

[user1471451564]

Who would send a child into school that had needed a dose of calpol?? I'm sorry but to my mind if a child is ill enough to warrant a dose of medicine to make them 'feel' better then they shouldn't be in school spreading whatever bug/infection/illness to others around them. No parent wants to/can afford to have their child off sick but you know what? It happens. Sending ill kids in to be around other kids just perpetuates this cycle of illness. I feel sorry for the poorly child. Who wants to be struggling through maths when battling illness?