To want DD to have her birthday presents in time for her birthday?

[tinkerz]

DD is 5 on Friday. We're not having a party this year and we've our own things planned for her. Normally we have all the family round at some point throughout her actual birthday but won't have time this year.

I've started having people text me asking when on Friday evening they can come in with her present. We're free until midday then won't be back until late but most people are working so morning doesn't suit them. When I've said we're busy they are then saying they'll drop her gift off on sat/sun/next week which makes me feel a little that she won't get them until after her birthday like an afterthought.

This could be partly my fault as I haven't told everyone we'll be busy on her birthday unlike it normally being an open house however other people have known and are still saying they'll be round a day or so after. And to be honest the next day doesn't really suit as we have plans!

Some of these people were adamant their kids got their gifts before the day so they had them to open in the morning when they were growing up whether it be Christmas or their birthday so it's like they have short memories!

AIBU?

[DearMrDilkington]

Yabvu.

[JanuaryMoods]

YABVU. People like to see DCs opening their presents.

[Brokenbiscuit]

Yanbu to be annoyed about the double standards, though, if the people who are "late" with dd's presents are the same ones who have previously thrown their toys out of the pram because of late gifts on their own birthdays. If they aren't the same people and have never made a fuss, then I think you need to accept that your expectations are unreasonable.

[sugarplumfairy28]

Sorry I think YABU. To start with it's a week day so to me it would be obvious that you would have fewer day time guests, and while planning your day expect people to ask to see you in the evening. If you choose to be out, then fair enough but that's your choice.

It is a Friday too so it would seem fairly obvious to me that people would plan to see your DD at the weekend anyway if they work.

If you have a running theme that people drop presents off before the day if the child cannot be seen on the day, then OK, that would seem a little unfair that they aren't doing that this time. I do think it's a little bit entitled or selfish to be annoyed that a gift isn't delivered in time for the day, even if it is for a child. The point is they have gone to the effort to get a gift and make the time to deliver it in person, that's what counts.

My DS's birthday is also Friday. He will be at school until the early afternoon. We're abroad and my DS knows that any gift sent from the UK may not be here by Friday despite people's best efforts. He will have the afternoon at home, and then in the evening we're taking him to a club he has reached the age he can now attend. Most, if not all of our family who will want to speak to him/skype him will be at work during the day, and given our plans, he/they may well need to wait until Saturday. Such is life.

[gleam]

It's a YANBU from me.

Naturally enough, if your family has made a fuss over the years about having presents for their kids ready to open on the day, it's a kick in the teeth for them not to do the same for your dd.

[JaquieFromTheBlock]

Even as adults in my family now it's a mad rush to get round to the family member's house before their birthday otherwise it's frowned upon that we're "late" with it

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh THAT explains the entitled attitude then

Your family sound like right judgmental dicks

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

I stopped giving one of my relatives' children any presents at all because her mother had a similar attitude and it was easier not to bother with people that are that grabby

[Mrscog]

I LOVE staggered presents! I have the opposite and get disappointed when DCs get everything on one day!

[NerrSnerr]

Seriously just remember how lucky you are that your daughter has friends and family who love her enough to buy her gifts. I know it's double standards but does it really matter?

[misshelena]

YABVVVU! Way too bratty for an adult.

[YouAndMePlus3]

Yes YABU in my opinion. Gifts from mum and dad must be given on the morning of the birthday, sure. But extended family it's regularly after the event. Plus if you're not giving them a suitable window of time to visit on the day what dyu expect to happen?x

[TinselTwins]

Seriously, If I was planning to visit someone with a gift, and was told to "just drop it off in the morning"… there'ld be no more gifts. I give gifts to people who I like to spend time with (unless distance prohibits). If they don't want to spend time with me and just want me to be a delivery person, then we clearly don't have the kinda relationship where it's a joy to give and recieve gifts from each other

OP I think you massively miss the point of what gift giving and recieving is supposed to be about

[mumeeee]

YABU. I often can't get my great nieces and nephew their Birthday presents to them on time for their birthdays. They actually love having something else to open after their Birthday. In fact all the children I know love this.
It's not like your DD isn't having presents

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

"They can come today or tomorrow or last weekend or could have given it to us at Christmas or whenever!"

@tinkerz - I think you meant 'they can come today or tomorrow, or they *could have come last weekend or could have given it to us at Christmas...' - otherwise you are expecting them to be capable of time travel - which is a bit unreasonable, I'm afraid.

To answer your question, I think you are being a bit unreasonable about this - but it is understandable that you want your dd's birthday to be perfect.

As other posters have said - look at the bright side - you have all these people who love your dd enough to want to give her a gift - that is lovely - and having the gifts turn up over the course of a few days will prolong the excitement and fun for her.

[SleepingCitySidewalk]

Christ there is no need for some of the unkindness on this thread. I would place good money on the fact that 99% of us have had a similar PFB moment which we now look back on fondly and post on PFB threads for others' enjoyment

It would be nice if OP could look back on this in the future along the lines of "remember when I insisted DD must have presents before midnight on her birthday" instead of "remember when I asked MN and they called me a bratty insensitive dick"

Op has accepted she is BU, she hasn't punched an elderly lady in the face or run over a kitten. I know it's AIBU but do people really have to be quite so unkind and personally insulting?

[SleepingCitySidewalk]

Oh and my PFB moment was a tantrum (mine) directed at my parents when they gave PFB a drink of bottled water instead of cooled boiled water. In a traffic jam. And PFB was old enough to be walking by this time

Thank fuck AIBU didn't exist then

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

I woldt even bother buying presents for my family members if they acted so entitled. How bizarre it's got to this stage.

[melj1213]

Christ, I was away for the month of July, when me, my brother and half a dozen cousins have birthdays ... I left cards with my mum to give to everyone with a little note that presents would follow when I got home. The only one who got their present before I left was my brother, and that was only because his birthday was the day after I left; I already had it bought, wrapped and sitting on my sideboard; and I was going out for lunch with him, his DP and my nephew the day before I went. Everyone else got their presents when I came back (and I got mine then too) because it was the most convenient ... if anyone had had a fit that their present was late, they'd have got no present ever again.

YABU OP, you basically are saying "My daughter recieving presents on her birthday is more important than you actually celebrating her birthday with her, whatever day that happens to be."

You say that they could have got presents to you at any point before her birthday, so you are putting the empasis on the gift delivery not the celebrating with family. As a child I was always overwhelmed on gift giving occasions when you just had a mountain of presents (and whether there was 5 or 105 it always felt like a mountain!) and you were expected to open everything and appreciate it and then move on to the next present (possibly stopping for a photo with said gift to go into the thank you card, if the giftee wasn't present) to get through them all when you'd rather have it spread out over a few days (Lets hear it for the Birthday Weekend!) and actually get to play with your new things, knowing that thre would be more to come!

Also, as others have pointed out, most people want to see the guest of honour open their presents, but if they're dropping them off early they don't get to see that as you want to wait until their birthday, which leads on to the other issue I have. When I was a kid we might get presents early(easliy up to a week early depending on schedules etc) but we were not allowed to open them until our birthday. Do you know how hard it is, knowing you have a pile of presents that family have handed over, for you, just sitting there, wrapped up and you can't touch them because your parent has decided you must wait for your birthday (where you will be getting more presents off them anyway)?!

[downwardfacingdog]

Yabu for all the reason's given above. On the plus side for you, if people get to give DD her presents in person you will save yourself a shit-load of thank you cards!

[Bantanddec]

I hope any of these present giving relatives and friends aren't reading this and identifying you, they'll think you're a right dick

[CoffeeAndCakeEssentials]

Why is it ok to have presents a few days early but not a few days late? either way, she's not getting them on her actual birthday so what's the problem? YABU