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AIBU?

To be pissed off with Dh about this! (Plus update on previous thread)

69 replies

HannahSmithson45 · 10/01/2017 18:24

Dh has booked a skiing holiday for his son (my stepson) as well as his nephew and his friend and son.

This is the first I have heard of the holiday and I am a bit annoyed that I and my son have not been considered by Dh to go. I don't know or want to know how to ski (plus i'm pregnant). This is also annoying as it means we wont have a family holiday until next year as i'm due in the summer and my son and dh step daughter (who is not going as well) have GCSE's will be full of revision for them.

We had some issues recently in regards to his step kids behaviour towards my son and while that has improved in the last couple of weeks it is also still very raw. However this is not linked to that because dh has been just as inconsiderate to his step daughter as to me or his stepson.

Im pregnant fgs he should not be going away for the week without me, also the place they are staying is a spa so i could just relax there. My son could always learn to ski, but dh had not even offered to add us on to the holiday.

OP posts:

Report

HannahSmithson45 · 11/01/2017 17:18

So your DH has booked a ski holiday for the boys, including his nephew, friend and friend's son, but not his own stepson? That speaks volumes.

I think it does speak volumes tbh. Sorry if I am not able to reply to all I have read all of the comments.

So in regards to money me and dh keep finances generally separate.

In regards to my ds I haven't actually told him about the holiday as of yet and I have kept it from him because I don't want him getting upset. He was very upset at the step kids and I don't want that to happen again.

In regards to dh and my relationship I think he knows how angry I am and I'm hoping he's done some thinking about it and changing the arrangements or im going to leave from my parents tomorrow.

OP posts:

kaputt · 11/01/2017 17:37

Finances separate sure, but what about just day to day conversation! 'How was your day?' 'oh fine, I'm thinking about booking a ski holiday so was looking up places to go..' etc. I mean really, taking that many people is a faff to arrange, so he can only have intentionally kept it secret. Which is BIZARRE.

stella23 · 11/01/2017 17:44

Are you the poster whose sds and cousins and in laws were winding up you ds up and your ds was winding up his step brother calling him fat.

HannahSmithson45 · 11/01/2017 18:17

Are you the poster whose sds and cousins and in laws were winding up you ds up and your ds was winding up his step brother calling him fat.

No just step sibilings.

OP posts:

RogueStar01 · 11/01/2017 21:04

i don't think this has much to do with finances really, it's the exclusion - hannah it sounds like you're handling it well, don't tell DS, 'D'P either sorts it or you have to show him the door. Actually, given the history it'll be impossible for your DS to understand why the stepson is being rewarded with a special holiday when he's behaved badly.

dollydaydream114 · 11/01/2017 21:19

I could just about get my head round a father wanting to go on holiday for a week with just his own son and not his stepson as well, if they really needed some proper bonding time or something and his own son doesn't live with him so sees less of him than his stepson does ... but there are so many additional factors that pretty much negate this:

He's inviting his nephew and some random friends as well, so it doesn't really sound like a father-son thing at all
He didn't even discuss this with you first - sorry, but WTAF?
3 ) He isn't taking his own daughter with him either???

This man sounds like a complete arse. I can't imagine many husbands thinking it was OK to book a trip like this without any discussion with anyone first. How incredibly shit.

DailyFail1 · 11/01/2017 21:23

Would your son even me intereste? I think from prev threads you mentioned he's not into sports like dss is.

Memoires · 11/01/2017 23:08

Doesn't matter whether your ds would be interested or hot, though, surely. What matters is the total exclusion. How on earth can that be explained?

HannahSmithson45 · 12/01/2017 18:30

I have an update dh has cancelled the holiday and lost his deposit but he won't tell me how much.

He is going to book a holiday for everyone this time. He said it is mine and ds choice and we are looking at Florida now. Unlike him we are considering everybody. I haven't told ds who just thinks we are booking a holiday.

OP posts:

Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 18:37

What did DH say?
What made him change his mind?
Do you think it's a good sign and things might change?

Im sorry OP but I think you have a much bigger problem than just a holiday, it's the whole toxic situation with the step kids being awful and your DH enabling if not actually encouraging their behaviour to you and your DS.
Unless something seriously changes with your DH attitude then this is just going to happen again and again.

HannahSmithson45 · 12/01/2017 18:43

What did DH say?
What made him change his mind?
Do you think it's a good sign and things might change?

Im sorry OP but I think you have a much bigger problem than just a holiday, it's the whole toxic situation with the step kids being awful and your DH enabling if not actually encouraging their behaviour to you and your DS.
Unless something seriously changes with your DH attitude then this is just going to happen again and again.

He came in yesterday with flowers, champagne and chocolate and said he was so sorry.

OP posts:

Foxysoxy01 · 12/01/2017 18:45

Has he said how he is going to stop his DC being horrible and completely disrespectful to you and your DS?

Allalonenow · 12/01/2017 18:50

Are the step children who treat you like crap going with you? Not much of a holiday for you if they are.
How pregnant are you and will you manage on a flight to Florida?

pinkbraces · 12/01/2017 18:52

You and your DS are always going to be 2nd class citizens in the life you have with him. You chose this, your DS didn't.

HannahSmithson45 · 12/01/2017 19:02

Are the step children who treat you like crap going with you? Not much of a holiday for you if they are.
How pregnant are you and will you manage on a flight to Florida?

Yes they are and I think i can manage tbh I usually am lucky and had an easy pregnancy last time but if I'm not up to it I won't go.

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 12/01/2017 19:12

So why on earth are you booking a holiday you might not be up to if it's your choice?! What are you achieving by that? Book one you will actually be able to go on! Don't be your own worst enemy here.

wowfudge · 12/01/2017 19:19

Oh fgs - the OP's DH has seen the light and now you think she should exclude his kids?

Gazelda · 12/01/2017 19:24

I don't think I'd be able to forgive this, if it were me.

Lunar1 · 12/01/2017 19:32

Nothing like brushing serious family problems under the carpet like s family holiday. I take it dsd is visiting again? Do you think you ds will enjoy going in the hotel pool with the teenagers who call him fat?

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