To blame social media for the decline of manners in society today?

[knossospalace]

I'm 32 so hardly looking back at the past with years sentimentality like an older person might. But...it does seem like people have far less manners/boundaries/morals today.

Examples include: the frequent use of expletives ('cunt' features on almost every thread I read on here) at the drop of hat online, bitchiness between adults on Facebook, forums, etc., the 'compensation culture' we have, blatant road rage...the list goes on!

I teach in secondary school and, ten years ago even, I could assure the pupils that the arguments and bullying they come across in school largely disappears in day to day life (I acknowledge DA and bullying in the workplace has always existed but I suppose I'm thinking more between peers). However, having witnessed seemingly commonplace examples online of arguments, 'oneupmanship', people being openly racist/xenophobic, I no longer feel that saying life gets easier when you get older is true. And I imagine young people see adults in their lives behaving in this way - surely this is damaging?

Although I love my job and actually think teenagers (I currently only teach teens) are great, I do worry about examples being set online. I also feel it's creeping into 'real life' where people are far more likely to argue in public/be heard swearing, etc.

Just three examples of pupils having few boundaries:

'Miss, do you know that some men pay fat women to sit in their face?'

'Can you wear a tighter top tomorrow so I can see your bump properly?'

'Yeah, but that was, like, last year.' (When I challenged a pupil who dropped into conversation that she was banned from a trip as she had called the teacher a 'slag' online!)

And I am a respected and liked teacher who has a good rapport with pupils. All of the above came from pupils in the highest set too.

What do you think?

[dollydaydream114]

By the way, I'm 40 and I remember the word 'cunt' being a fairly regularly insult at my school, which was a reasonably well-thought-of girls' comprehensive.

I also remember a conversation with one of our teachers about an (actually rather serious and po-faced) TV documentary about fetishes that had been on. Nobody was trying to make her feel uncomfortable; we genuinely wanted her view on the weirdness of it.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

IMO. part of the problem is that people are more likely to find excuses for the behaviour of the children.

[knossospalace]

Thanks all for the responses. I think I've been misunderstood (perhaps as I went off tack a bit in my post!) in that I don't think using bad language, being racist or whatever is caused by social media (nor is it a new phenomenon) - it's that it's somehow gradually evolved into a system where people think it's okay to be impolite openly, often with their full name and photo alongside it and in front of hundreds of colleagues, family members and friends. Seeing this routinely then normalises it and people replicate it and it creeps into everyday life was my line of thinking?

I know my views on social media are in the minority as I'm one of few people I know who isn't on Facebook, etc. I've only recently joined MN and prob won't last long on here either. Although I like that there seems to be an intelligent clientele with some interesting posts with anonymity generally not abused.

[user1480946351]

You are wildly exaggerating. For example, you are quite imagining that cunt features on every thread, its actually rather rare.
As for the rest, its the same as people have been whining for ever....every new technology is going to take us to hell in a handcart. People said much the same thing about the telephone, and the wireless, all of it. The end of society as we know it. Bullshit, then as now.

[user1480946351]

I know my views on social media are in the minority as I'm one of few people I know who isn't on Facebook, etc

Ah, so your views are informed by the fact that they are uninformed? You don't use it, but think you can somehow judge it. How is that?
It's like reviewing books you haven't read. You are not in a position to judge.

[knossospalace]

User I have been on it and other social media in the past. I always got bored/couldn't be bothered with it and left.

[Birdsgottafly]

I often wonder if people are noticing it more, or it seems more public, because of the "ism" laws/policies.

Growing up in the 70's, there was open racism, which was largely ignored, because it wasn't thought of as 'wrong'.

Likewise sexism, underage girls being targeted, sexual assaults, sexualised verbal abuse. Victim blaming.

We had football hooliganism, if you wanted to legitimately call someone, or smash their face in.

You could do a bit of 'Paki/Gay bashing and that was largely ignored. It took the Stephen Lawerence case to get rid of institutional racism.

Bullying was thought of as Character building and of course, Domestic Abuse was part of married life.

Previously to that you could murder etc Jews/blacks/Native Americans etc.

At 14, you'd leave school, if you went.

So I don't think things have got worse, we've just lost our easy targets.

[Trills]

Do you have evidence that there has actually been a decline in manners?
How do you define manners?

Without that you don't even have a correlation, let alone a case for causation.

[TheCompanyOfCats]

I get what you mean OP but I don't know what the cause is.

My partner teaches and the stuff he tells me (that children have casually said to him) makes my jaw drop and I was a really, really naughty girl in school! I do think that there has been an enormous drop in boundaries and respect.

[kaitlinktm]

I'm in my thirties too. Trust me kids today are generally much kinder to teachers than they were before social media, and there are far more consequences to bullying. For example a jewish teacher was effectively run out of the school by bullying kids who would nazi salute her and leave images of kids from gas chambers on her desk. Another teacher had her hair set on fire (thankfully another teacher was there and put it out). A diabetic teacher who kept his insulin on his desk had it stolen so he had no choice but to go home. The kids were horrors. I was horrifically bullied too

I am sorry for your terrible experiences. However I think to say that kids are kinder to teachers now than they were before social media is too generalised. Two of the three of the incidents you cite - hair (potentially) set on fire and teacher's medication being stolen, happened to me in the last 5 years. Someone took my inhaler from my drawer - I was told I shouldn't keep it there (where then, if I need it in my place of work which is my classroom?) and a pupil lit a lighter a couple of inches away from my hair (if I had used hairspray it definitely would have burned).

[corythatwas]

I'm not on social media either. but I am well over 50 and have very clear recollections of how openly "impolite" people could be 40 years ago, because it simply did not occur to them that racism, homophobia, hate language against teachers, sneering language against women, jokes about paedophilia etc etc was "impolite" or something to be ashamed of or something you wouldn't want your boss or your aunt or your black neighbour to hear about.

Obviously you couldn't put it online, because the internet hadn't been invented. But then again, I am not convinced that putting it on the internet is that much worse than saying it to the face of the person affected- and there was certainly plenty of that 40 years ago.

For my disabled dd, the internet has been her lifeline: support and advice and information and the chance to communicate with people even at times when she has been unable to see anyone in the flesh.