To be jealous of other people's beautiful houses.

[DIYDummy]

We bought a house in September (doer upper) and I think I underestimated the amount of work that we would need to do.

It is all cosmetic things, but nothing has been touched since circa 1980 so it is really bad!!

Anyway we are not going to be able to afford to do everything all in one go and are doing all the work ourselves bit by bit. I just need a rant really as the state of the place is getting me down. It being Christmas we have had quite a few visitors and I find myself apologising for the state of the place all the time.

Lots of friend have bought similar houses and seem to just get everything done really quickly, and to an amazing standard! The don't seem to have loads more money than us and I just can understand why we are making such slow progress.

I honestly thought we would be further along by now but everything seems to cost so much and take so much time. Is there some DIY secret that I don't know about??

[Anywhichway123]

Honestly be happy you've got a house, you can do all the work it needs over time. I have 2 children and live in a one bed flat! Can't afford anything bigger!

[PostTruthBreakdown]

You do know how many people cannot afford to buy now don't you, and are looking at lifelong renting?

We've recently bought one that needs a lot of work. After 20 years renting privately and thinking it would never happen I am so bloody grateful to be in this position. We have our own roof and suddenly have a bit of security, the cosmetics will come gradually.

[thecolonelbumminganugget]

3 years of living in our fixer upper, one half of the house is built into the side of a hill, there's 1 layer of brick between us and the bare earth with zero damp proofing, it is covered in black mould, water pisses in when it rains and is therefore completely uninhabitable. The rest of the house hasn't been touched since the early 90s and is badly suffering from the effects of the damp in the uninhabitable side. We have 1 room done up, the bathroom, it's like a high end spa in there now with the most beautiful vaulted ceiling, DP and I spent many evenings in there having a beer and a chat sitting in the bath together. One day the rest of the house will be that beautiful but I totally feel your pain, it's hard to keep going with it sometimes when all your time and money is ploughed into something and the progress is so slow. You put so much love in and to outside eyes it looks like you take no pride in it at all when really you're giving it everything you've got.

[BillyShingles]

It does take ages. For sanity's sake I'd take it more or less one room at a time, and do at least one of living room or kitchen early on. Living in and DIYing is a challenge. Our first house took a year but that was pre-kids and budget limitation meant we couldn't do anything huge. Now, with bigger house and DC we manage a room a year if we're lucky! If we were paying people to do it, it'd be different, but we'll get there in the end.

I think Elspeth is right that you don't always notice how long other people's have taken.

[lilyb84]

I'm so jealous of other people's lovely houses!!! I rent and we're lucky at present to have a really gorgeous lounge - think 1920s conversion, wooden floorboards, fireplace etc - but all our actual stuff is mismatched and crap quality, and of course we won't be here forever (probably only another few months due to rising rent). Ditto the rest of the flat. But I'm fiercely proud of what we do have, try to take as much satisfaction as I can in any small improvement and just enjoy looking at other people's houses when I get the opportunity so I can dream

Honestly I think it can only be money enabling people to do up their houses to such a standard and so quickly. Certainly those houses I'm jealous of have taken lots of money to get that way. We have friends with an ex council doer upper and it's taking them years and lots of investment to go through improving a room at a time!

So YANBU because it's hard not to be jealous but try to see the positives in what you do have. I would be so, so happy to have somewhere to call my own with all that potential, even if your ideal state is still a few years or few thousand pounds away. You'll get there and it will be so worth it!

[Iflyaway]

What is it with UK's obsession about needing to have a show home? Is it all a competition about who has the most beautifully decorated place?
How shallow.

What's wrong with just being grateful for having a simple roof over your head?

At the end of the day are you going to moan about not having had colour coordinates in your home, or regret the living you missed out on?

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I think there are different levels of doer upper as well. If it just needs redecorating and minor fixes that can be done quickly and cheaply. If you need to rewire, replumb, new CH etc you can't even start the cosmetic stuff until that's done.
If you have to live in the property whilst it's being done up that is going to slow things down.
We had a full scale renovation project for our current house (back to the brickwork, extensions etc) and it's only now about 2 years after it's finished that we are looking at doing the nice to have cosmetic stuff rather than the basic but necessary stuff.

[flirtygirl]

I dont think the secret is money, its time. If you have time or make time you can find cheaper items and teach yourself a lot of skills but if you have no time then you throw money at it or save the money or work to save the money to pay for it to be done.

[LittleMermaidRose]

When me & DH bought our first house we took a week off work & done it all then - rooms painted, one room plastered, laminate floors laid & new bathroom put in.
It's all about timing & how quickly you move, but it really is possible to get it done quick. We done all the painting ourselves, which is very tiring but so rewarding once it's done & it really does make a difference.

My advice is to take a couple weeks off work, get up early each morning & get it done.

It's so true though, you see the "faults" in your house because it's yours & you want it to be perfect. I bet your house is really lovely!

[KERALA1]

Ha no way could any non professional have turned our house from the grim collection of tiny rooms akin to an old peoples home to the lovely family house it is today. Took 5 men 4 months inclufing qualified electricians to rewire, plumber to move boiler and carpenter etc etc

[Whatsername17]

A kick of paint makes a massive difference to kitchens and bathrooms when you can't afford to replace them properly. Grout revivor is a thing of wonder! We've removed the hideous patterned wall paper from every room, lined the walls with plain lining paper and filled the gaps with filler (quick drying as it sands easier) to give a smooth finish, then painted with wilkos paint. Every one compliments the decor but it didn't cost much at all. Pick a room to start with an take your time.

[DIYDummy]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I know I don't sound it but I am really grateful to have been able to buy our own home, but it's just so depressing every time I think about how lovely it could be but that I can't do it all.

It's not just money that's the problem, we did budget some for most things. But everything has been worse than we first expected. Every time we strip a wall it starts to fall apart and my plan of just stripping wallpaper and painting become a re plaster job +£500!

The other problem is time. we have 2 dc so we have to work around them. We both work, and can't do much in the evenings as most of the work is noisy. Also at weekends one of us has to be with them, so only one can work on the house.

[dingdongthewitchishere]

Iflyaway

Don't be a grump. People need show homes to sell them better, but in most countries people like to be proud of their homes.
What's wrong with wanting a house that's your own taste and where you feel happy? Some of us like a home, nothing wrong with that.

OP, it depends on money, kids or no kids (and kids spent away most weekends), work commitments, how you chose to spend your weekends and evenings. If your friends are home by 5pm (or even 6), and don't leave until 8am the following day whilst you barely make it before 9pm and leave at 6am next, you can't compete!

[Mrskeats]

Feeling quite proud of my house which we bought at auction two and a half years ago. As others have said it takes more money, stress and work than you ever can imagine.
The dining room is done though and looks lovely. You will get there op and it will be done with your style. Our house hadn't been touched since the 1950s!!

[ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe]

A lick of paint does make a huge difference.
Also, take you time.
Don't rush out and buy things, live in the house and take it bit by bit.

[user1471458474]

You do have my sympathy op. I'm so sick of people saying things like 'be grateful for a roof over your head' etc etc but if the state of the house is impacting on your life then that is a big consideration. A friend moved into a property nearly 2 years ago and within weeks the kitchen and bathroom had been replaced, rewiring done and cooker hood fitted and whole property painted throughout! New carpets throughout and flooring replaced in kitchen BUT my friend and her DH know numerous people who were able to do all these jobs for them at 'mates rates'. Meanwhile I'm struggling with arthritis and living alone trying to cope with just normal daily activities let alone renovating my shabby home. It can really drag you down so please don't feel guilty op.

[DIYDummy]

And thanks mermaid it's not that lovely at the moment. Actually in between posts I just opened a drawer in the kitchen and it fell off (something like this basically happens every day). But hopefully it will be probably in about 20 years time, just about when we want to move again

[Winterfairy]

Agree with Ginandonit. Get that paintbrush out. Everything looks a lot better and fresher with a coat of paint and you don't have to apologise for the decor. If you go light it makes the place seem bigger too and gives you time to think about what you really want to do with the house because that can take a couple of years if you want to make a big investment in extensions/remodelling.

[Chocness]

I think it's good to take your time. Then you don't make any rash/expensive decisions that you might regret later on. It took us 5 or so years to finish ours. None of it paid for on credit which I'm particularly proud of. For all you know your friends may be mortgaged up to the eyeballs now which believe me takes the edge of a super, shiny house.

[Chocness]

I should add that we didn't have our dc whilst doing up our pad. I reckon if he had been around you could put at least another ten years onto that timescale! hats off to you for giving it a go with young children.

[dangermouseisace]

It took 10 years to get our little home to a stage where it looked kind of nice but then already other things needed replaced.

Don't worry about your lack of progress. There is no massive rush, you have a roof over your heads. It's hard (ok nearly impossible) with small kids.

I found that it was best to take any estimate that tradesmen give you and assume that something will go wrong. It always does. The crucial thing I learnt from my old house is that it is best just getting work done 'properly' even if it takes longer and costs more.

E.g. patching roof up again and again before getting the whole lot relaid…should have just got it relaid in the first place.

worrying about damp, redecorating again and again and struggling with it. Should have just got the whole place replastered/rooms replastered before decorating. It sounds like you need to make friends with a plasterer. I love plasterers.

After trying to do much of it ourselves we decided that it was better to save up and pay out for proper people and stick to the stuff that we were good at- e.g. decorating. It takes professionals much less time and the finish is better.

As you said, you are fortunate to have a house. I don't have mine any longer, and am in rented accommodation instead- it is lovely to be able to do what you want with a place even if it takes longer! Don't fret, and don't compare yourself to other people!

[Enidblyton1]

I think you might be me!
I have kitchen draw falling off syndrome too...

Agree with a pp that it's good to live in a house for a while before jumping in with the renovations. You might change your mind about something.

Every room (apart from 1!) in our house needs significant renovation. I'm going to do a bathroom first and then kitchen. Small steps...

[Bassetfeet]

Owning your own home is wonderful no matter what the decor . Trends happen so fast that when you do get the time and cash you will be well ahead . It is hard I know when you are itching to get your perfect sanctuary .

We bought ours in 1988. Mortgage at its limit wage wise . Kept a thousand back to update 1960s decor . Put new MFI pine kitchen in ourselves and artexed the walls and ceilings . I know I know .
Pine staircase and yellow bathroom suite .

Time passes as it does and extra money was not feasible Today still have eek artexed walls and trusty old pine kitchen sanded down and revarnished . Looks like something out of Beamish history museum. But it is mine along with ancient rocking chair in corner nicely placed for fridge and landline .

What we have done is keep the roof, brickwork and guttering checked annually . The house itself is sound . New windows too. These are the important things OP .
It is the journey not the arrival that matters most isn't it ? Enjoy the planning and dreams . So pleased you have your own home . It will get done in your time not anyone else's

Hope when my house is sold after my shuffling off that a family sees beyond the pine horror and artex. Primrose bathroom suite is lovely you know . We did renew that but still mourn for it .
Enjoy your home and planning . Some retail therapy like throws and cushions ,plants ,lighting can make a difference for now . Good Luck

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Mrskeats your dining room is gorgeous, well done!

DIYDummy it's been 10 years since we've bought our 'doer upper' and still have the kitchen and outside to do (as well as annoying things that had to be redone like a new boiler or replastering water damaged wall as well as general maintainance) Progress slowed right down when we had DC due to obvious extra time and financial constraints. I bought a couple of beehive brass escutcheons that are correct to the period of the house this year and the joy I get when I look at them screwed into place, on doors in rooms that are finally finished is immense. You'll get there in the end!

[Artandco]

I think you need to work alongside kids to speed things up if you want it.

There's a fair amount you can do with kids around or in the evening that isn't super super noisy. Stuff like sanding, filling, tiling, varnish, painting are all quiet enough.

How old are kids?

At weekends also you can get stuff done whilst kids occupy themselves a while. Small babies in Travel cot or playpen or highchair 30mins at a time, toddlers and olde can 'help', or get cheap stuff for garden and let them play outside whilst you sand or paint stuff or build stuff outside