To be amazed at how much money some people seem to have?

[TinselOnTheTree]

My Facebook feed today has been totally awash with Gucci and Louis Vuitton bags, Laboutin shoes, tickets to Paris/Dubai/Bali, Tiffany jewellery and all other manner of nice expensive items, given to women from their husbands or partners. Generally these are people who work in seemingly average or low paid jobs, but who seem to have absolutely no shortage of money.

One couple in particular work in low paid jobs; he works as a shop manager and she works 2 days a week in a clothes shop as a sales assistant, yet they seem to have money to burn! They have constant holidays, shopping sprees, kids decked out in designer clothes etc. I just wonder how on earth they afford it.

Another couple have 6 kids; the woman is a SAHM and the man works as a teacher so presumably earns too much for tax credits but not a super high salary, and they too seem to have so much money. Again, kids all decked out in lovely clothes, the woman always has her hair done and has nice clothes, they have an expensive pram for their younger two children, and even went to Barbados a few months ago, all 8 of them!

Oh and another couple, who run a small business but say they make very little profit, got back from Florida 2 weeks ago and now the man has surprised the wife and kids with 2 weeks in Morocco for Christmas, and today she posted photos of their holiday of all the gifts he'd taken out there for her; Jimmy Choo shoes, clothes from Selfridges, a Tiffany necklace, and all kinds of other stuff, it literally filled the whole double bed in the photo!

I'm not jealous, before anyone says I am; I am perfectly happy with my life, and I'm pleased for people that they have and do nice things, and do enjoy seeing the photos of course, but it just totally baffles me that people seem to afford so much top end super expensive stuff!

[mnaddict1]

We've had a very extravagant Xmas and on the face of it we appear very middle class. Husband has a good job I am a sahm. On the face of it people would assume we have used credit to finance it. You never truly know anyone's financial status and it really shouldn't matter. As long as your family are grateful for their gifts and you have done your best that's all that really matters. Comparison is the thief of joy as they say

[mnaddict1]

Just seen the 2 years old Gucci bag- that's extreme but hey live and let live...

[Pollyxcx]

I know a very average family. Husband is a manual labourer, wife SAHM.

He bought a bit of scrubby land for a thousand pounds at 18 years old (all his savings/birthday money). Sold it for over a million to a delevoper last year. Very few people know and he is still working his normal job, they aren't moving, it's just extra money.

[ChickenVindaloo2]

I have known of a few folk like that and the blokes were, ahem, drug dealers basically. Local gangsters. Able to get whatever, whenever.

[DinosaursRoar]

Thing is, it's not all debt - it's the standard thing on here, everyone assumes that others have exactly the same income as them and are questioning how they buy these things whilst assuming they also spend their income the exact same way.

While the holidays are going to be very expensive, many of those things you are looking at a grand or so, which while it's a lot of money, also works out at under £20 a week saved. Many people smoke, or get regular takeaways, or go out drinking, have expensive coffees/buy their lunches etc - some people all their money goes on things that are 'seen' but not on other stuff that you might think are 'worth it'.

I always marvel at people on here who spend £50/60 a week on groceries for a family of 4, we're a family of 4 and normally spend £120-130 a week in the supermarket. If I could be happy on a much more limited spend and save that £70 a week, that's £3,640 a year extra - that'd buy a lot of treats, but from the outside, it's unlikely you'd notice we'd changed our lifestyle (New Year's resolution is to try to knock a bit off our weekly bill)

Then there's the case the people you are thinking of might earn more than you think - a straightforward class teacher isn't going to earn much more than £33kish - but a head of department can be on upto £64k - that's a massive difference, but you might not realise there's that level of range within those who aren't Head/Deputy Head. There might also be inheritances that have cleared mortgages/part mortgages which means they've got an extra grand each month more than you assume. There might be extended families paying for things like children's clothes or holidays, or paying for other things that means they free up cash for 'fun stuff'.

[fabulous01]

I don't get it either. I hear you

[lalalalyra]

I don't get it either. DH earns a lot (into 6 figures) and we can't afford stuff like that.

I bet you the main difference is housing costs.

[Yoarchie]

Debt, debt, debt

We don't buy each other "stuff"
Waste of money
No need for the things mentioned in the OP.
Nobody is going to die or even be sad without a Louis viutton (sp?) bag

[hefzi]

Depends which part of the country, too- places with low house prices / rents but high numbers of public sector work (national pay levels) often have people with higher disposable incomes than in London and the South East. Or possibly they are living off the proceeds of crime /immoral earnings

[DarthPlagueis]

Talking of saving money, we switched from Waitrose for the main shop and use the Aldi which up a few streets away.

BIG difference in spend.

[PossumInAPearTree]

Credit cards and fake handbags.

[Spice22]

Good for them I say.

[passingthrough1]

I know a couple than definitely each earn about 15-20k less each than me and my DP do, which adds up. They seem to have everything whereas we just don't and for a while it was bothering me (not just in a jealous way but also in a "what the hell are we doing wrong?!" way - was there some massive expenditure we had that was t necessary or were we being overtaxed?!!)... but I think they literally spend every penny and make use of credit cards whereas me and DP are often watching what we spend because we're so careful, we save, overpay on mortgage etc. I was brought up to not only live within your means but to save. I think some people just have overdrafts, credit cards when they really don't need it they just need to cut back a bit.

[MrGrumpy01]

Whilst I don't have designer gear or luxurious holidays (won't fly) I wonder if people look at my family and wonder how we do it. A SAHP, 2 cars on the drive, holiday every year sometimes 2. But for us the main factor is our very small mortgage. It is half of what I would pay in rent for a council property up the road. Some inheritance, redundancy pay, historical savings can all be factors in people's lifestyles.

However, other than debt, I know of people who do work 'on the side' , sell less than legal products - cigarettes etc. And a lot who gamble 'professionally' - a mix of normal betting, match betting and buying up stocks and shares and selling on. Maybe not making a huge amount but probably enough for that extra holiday etc.

[sophiestew]

Hmm, I think it suits some people to just say it's debt. Of course for some it may be.

I am a nurse and DP is a paramedic. I got a very naice handbag for Christmas ( not plastered on social media) as well as many other gifts. We go on lovely holidays and go to lots of shows etc. This is because each of us has inherited property from relatives. I have other friends in very similar positions ( one of whom does do the FB braggy thing!)

We never advertised the fact widely when we inherited in each case, so there probably are those who wonder how we live like we do. I can assure you I would swap my Grandad for a handbag any day.......

You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

[CountryLovingGirl]

Probably all on the never never OP.

[TinselTwins]

yeah I agree "it's debt hun" is equivalent to "they're just jealous hun"

it's not always debt. Sometimes it's just different priorities. DDs have friends who don't do any extra curricular clubs but have bigger value presents and holidays.

DDs get one "big" gift each and a sensible amount of stocking fillers, nothing brag worthy. Our holidays are mostly staycations. But we spend a fortune on their extra curricular hobbies/classes/activiies throughout the year.

It's just different priorities sometimes.

[Farfromtheusual]

BILs partner did the obligatory pictures on fb of living room full of presents this morning.

Me and DP both have fairly well paid jobs and have always wondered why they seem to have so much more money to throw around...the answer? Maxed out credit cards! They literally put ALL of their xmas shopping on them! Even though she is on full benefits, and not declaring he lives with them (so gets a fair wedge) and he has an average salary. I think they use all their money making minimum monthly payments on all their cards and catalogues that they don't have much left over!

[ChocolateWombat]

But do you really envy an extravagant Christmas, with bling labelled items?

When I hear about those things, I don't really wonder about the income people have or where the money comes from what......but what they value.

Some of the most wealthy people I know will have Christmases with just a very few presents - probably good quality items which will last many years, but definitely no obvious labels. They will have a good meal, but it won't be flash or a table piled to breaking point, or loaded up with gold platters.

The question is what makes a good Christmas really? We will have presents (of course) and a lovely meal, but the things that the kids will remember, because we do them each year, will be Christmas Eve with family getting excited, Christmas morning opening the stocking (perhaps £20 of stuff if that) the Christmas dinner with crackers, the after lunch walk, the board game of monopoly or similar, watching something like Strictly and a Christmas tea in front of the fire before bed.

When I hear of the £000s that some spend and the stuff some adults and kids receive, I feel no sense of jealousy and wouldn't buy that stuff regardless of income or wealth. When people becom convinced that their kids won't have a great Christmas without lots of expensive stuff, I think their values are all wrong and that if it is true about the kids, the parents haven't helped the kids to develop the right values..

I can see it's hard if you are really hard up and struggle to afford the Christmas dinner or any gifts, and if you can't get any of the things your family would enjoy. Poverty is never appealing, especially in the face of extravagance. However, when we're not talking about poverty but Christmases which have been good and enjoyable, but slightly less bling and in everyone else's faces, I agree that comparison is the thief of joy,me specially if you're the kind of person who does easily feel jealous. Just don't look on Facebook.....or don't have the kind of friends who boast in this incredibly crass way.

[ChocolateWombat]

Yes, agree about the different priorities.

Some people choose a big expensive Christmas with lots of stuff and a heaped up table of surplus food, whilst others prioritise a family holiday, or horse riding lessons, or instrumental lessons, or a personal trainer, or a tutor, or private school fees, or private health care, or life insurance, or paying off the mortgage earlier, or saving for a house deposit, or putting more money into the pension for earlier retirement.

Most of us could spend more on Christmas if we chose to spend less on other things through the year......but we choose not to, because we value the other things more highly. Most of us think a good Christmas is important but we put a limit on the expense....we all decide what is reasonable for us, given all the other stuff we'd like through the year.

Some people with flash Christmases haven't been to the dentist for 4 years, or have no pension savings, or have children who haven't been taught to swim, or who have no books in their homes, or who have never been to the theatre, or who would struggle to replace the boiler if it broke down. Clearly, these are just one possible set of priorities and there is nothing to say these are better than a flash Christmas......but it's just worth remembering that those who don't have lavish incomes, often are sacrificing something else for their Christmas that you envy a bit today.

[reallybadidea]

Of course it won't be debt for every family, but with the average non-mortgage debt thought to be about £10k then it probably does account for the majority of it.

[windygallows]

This issue comes up on MN a lot and although there seems to be lots of reasons that account for variations in people's disposable income I do think it IS a combination of debt and low housing costs.

When I lived in Scotland I knew people who had been in council and HA housing for a long time and paid much less than market rates for their homes. The savings made were significant.

However I'd question anyone who wants to buy such cliche 'highbrow gifts' (frankly there are a lot of nicer brands than Gucci and jimmy choo) and then parade their conspicuous consumption. Sounds a bit graspy and sad.

[bluebeck]

Totally agree with Tinsel the "it's debt" assumptions are quite sneery from some posters.

I would imagine for most of these people they have assets you know nothing about - probably inheritance, or very low outgoings.

I have a few friends whose income is low but who receive income from rented properties they inherited, parents send them a monthly allowance, or inherited large sums of money when relatives died. It's really quite usual, certainly in my (rather ordinary) circle.

So they work in shops or normal office jobs but holiday in the Caribbean and have designer bags. Their choice how they spend their money really.

[binkiesandpopcorns]

I could tell a tale about an acquaintance who had it all. Most up to date gadgets. Always spending. Did everything. Had everything. Several holidays per year. On average wage and spouse on below average wage. Turned out there was 6 figure sum of credit card debt. Don't know how it got sorted but income has gone down and holidays and spending has got more extravagant. No idea how it's going to end. Apart from badly obviously. Another acquaintance is the same but to a lesser degree. Is in dire straights. Used to enjoy weekends at very high class internationally renowned hotels