To be hurt by this comment?

[Evennumberonthevolume]

I might be being too sensitive.

Texting a friend and catching up.

She had a new baby (she's around 3/4 months) and said what a challenge it is but it's also the best thing ever!

I don't even have a boyfriend so who knows if this will ever happen for me. Just felt like same in the wound.

[LobsterQuadrille]

If you have lost a baby recently then I can see that it would hurt badly. Otherwise it's just your friend being happy, and hoping that you are happy for her too. If we can't express our delight to those close to us, even if our experiences do not mirror their own, we would be a little stuck for conversation in my world.

[wafflyversatile]

You can't expect your friends to pretend to be miserable because your life isn't where you want it to be.

[toptoe]

Her comment was not meant to hurt you in any way.

How you take that information is your responsibility.

You also do not know what the future holds for you and your relationships. Many of us have thought it would never happen but a lot can change in just a few years. Share your friend's joy and don't allow yourself to indulge in thinking it is unkind of her to feel happiness.

[Laniakea]

She sounds like she's struggling and trying to convince herself it's the best thing ever (around 3 months it really isn't!).

Really? I think you might be projecting!

I really enjoyed the newborn stage with all of mine & at three months (even with number 4) I was still totally loved up & very very happy.

[Bluntness100]

Yes of course you're being over sensitive, her comment is a fairly normal and nice response. Being overly sensitive to that then jumping on the comment from sandy is a bit concerning as hers is the only one that's negative about your friend. Why would you want to think she's struggling?

Parenthood is challenging, but that doesn't mean the same as struggling and there is no reason to think from that text she's struggling in any way.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

You are being massively oversensitive

[GhostOfChristmasYetToCome]

She sounds like she's struggling and trying to convince herself it's the best thing ever

Huh? Did you just post that patronising bullshit to make the OP feel better? FWIW, 3-4 months was the best time! Awake more, personality showing through, starting to be more fun... Doesn't mean it's not challenging but, unless there is some reason why it isn't, it is the best thing ever.

FFS.

OP, YABU, but you know that. And it's fine to have a bit of a moment.

Make the most of the childfree, single life you have now so that when it happens for you you have some great memories to look back on.

[ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess]

Interesting that sandys projective and negative comment is the only one OP agrees with.

Time to realise the world doesn't revolve around you, and that true friends share in each others' joys and woes, rather than resenting their happiness.

[228agreenend]

I don't see anything in her text to hurt you, unless there is. Backstory. It's just a simple text saying how hard babies are, but how great they are too. Totally innocent.

[turquoise88]

If you'd had a recent miscarriage or experienced loss in some way then I think I'd be sensitive to a degree, e.g. saying it's "the best thing ever." Is probably just tell you all was well.

However, seeing as you're not willing to share the backstory and it appears you are reading into it far too much, then yes, YABU.

[CheerfulYank]

I'm not sure what there is to be hurt about?

[Gazelda]

OP, I do think you are being over sensitive. Would it have been better if she'd just told you how much of a struggle it is? Or if she'd just said how wonderful it is? I presume either of these would have benn hurtful to,you too. So what was she supposed to do, not mention the baby or how she's finding it?

FWIW, I thought I'd never get a bloke or have a baby. I was 38 before I met someone half decent. Then I got pregnant, married etc etc. I presume it's not too late for you either, you never know what's around the corner. But in the meantime, don't fixate on boyfriend/motherhood - get out and enjoy life as much as you can. Don't waste a second.

[arethereanyleftatall]

Yabu.
So when you 'catchup' with someone, they're only allowed to talk about things you've already done, and nothing that's relevant to their own lives?
Sandy - I also loved the 3 month old stage, lovely cuddly stage.

[Euripidesralph]

Please tell me this is a reverse ? Yes if you have experienced loss or difficulty conceiving then its borderline. ...if not it's ridiculous that you have reacted like this

Get a grip and take a really hard look at yourself

[leaveittothediva]

You have a lot to learn. Just take a good luck at some of the Threads on here and you'll be counting yourself fucking lucky not to have either a a man or be pregnant. Get a hobby, you silly girl.......

[NiceFalafels]

people can only give their opinion based on the information given. But you've given half the information, then got huffy because it doesn't suit you

[NiceFalafels]

I say that as someone who has great issues conceiving

[bangingmyheadoffabrickwall]

Unless you tell us what the back story is, the majority of people will say YABU.

If there is a back story and say for example you were also supposed to be enjoying the 3/4 month stage AND she knew this YANBU but even so, people get caught up in the exciting changes of their lives and come across as insensitive but the intent was never there.

[badabing36]

I thought it was 'the best thing ever' at 3/4 months. Still do.

I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you by being happy. Why can't you be happy for your friend?

Life isn't a competition and boyfriends, husbands and babies don't mean you're friend has won. Have fun being single. Lie in, go out drinking, go out for a coffee without planning it for 3 hours beforehand. The key to happiness is appreciating what you have.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

Which part of what your friend said did you specifically find hurtful?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess]

If, OP, you had said "AIBU to feel a little jealous/envious?", you may have had different responses. But as it is, your post breaks down into:

You: How are you?
Friend: I'm enjoying the baby, motherhood is challenging but the best thing ever"
You: What a hurtful remark.

Perhaps get a little more involved with the child - help her out a bit. Buy a nice Christmas present, offer to babysit; this may help you feel better about your resentment as you will be doing something positive and useful, rather than quietly simmering with frustration.

[FireSquirrel]

i kinda get it. it's like being the only single person at the wedding. it doesn't mean you're not happy for your friend but that you feel a bit left out/like everyone's looking/that it's never going to happen for you. it's not easy and it's ok to feel the way you do about it, but it''s definitely one for the internal monologue. she wasn't trying to be mean

This ^^

[Olympiathequeen]

Of course you are pleased for your friend, but if your own life has gone through some difficult times lately it quite normal to compare her life to yours in a negative way.

Being happy for someone else doesn't mean you can't feel sorry for yourself, especially at Christmas, which can be the loneliest time of the year.

[AlabasterSnowball]

What part of the text did you find hurtful?

[SandysMam]

Calm down everyone, I was trying to get her to see things from a less self indulgent perspective. Some people struggle, some don't but it might help the OP to see things another way and think of her friend who has just had a baby rather than herself. Maybe my wording was wrong but my intentions weren't so less of the nastiness please