AIBU that I can't feel the Christmas spirit with what's going on in Aleppo

[Toomuchhistory1]

Just that really. I'm feeling so helpless and sad watching the news with these horrific images of the poor people over there and what they're going through. Those poor children, it just breaks my heart.
It just feels so incredibly stupid to be worrying about buying trivial presents at the same time families are being killed in Aleppo. No amount of monetary donations make me feel less helpless and guilty. I honestly fear for the world that my children are growing up in but then is this any worse than WW1 and WW2 and the thoughts our grandparents had then?
Sorry for the rant, just feeling a bit

[SilkThreads]

My mother decided to stop celebrating Christmas the year of Live Aid.
So, I was 16.
I could see her point.
She sent what she would have spent on Christmas to the Appeal.

But she never celebrated it again. I don't know if she still sends 'what she would have spent' or not?

this thread made me think of it.

[Backingvocals]

Ok have donated to the Save the Children Syria appeal. Thanks for the prompt OP. Should have done it before now.

[Smartleatherbag]

Snatched pencil has put it much more eloquently. Spot on.

[Smartleatherbag]

There are always atrocities going on in the world. Always. Aleppo is horrific.
I think beyond donating to MSF or similar, and lobbying politicians, we cannot change the world. Being miserable will not help these poor souls. Do what you can. But do not deny yourself enjoyment on their behalf. That's pointless.

[pseudonymity]

YA SO NBU

[MarciaBlaine]

SnatchedPencil speaks much sense. I have struggled with my MH recently, had a bereavement etc. It is almost too much to bear to see these people suffering. I think it fair to take actions that you are able and willing to take. Donate, write letters, sign petitions, volunteer to help the more vulnerable members of society. But don't feel guilty. We didn't cause this. The world was always such. People have been dying in horrible ways since the dawn of time. Feel lucky and grateful that it is not you and embrace what you have in the here and now.

[NotStoppedAllDay]

great that's what Christmas is about to you... not everyone is the same.... doesn't mean they are any less compassionate than the next person!

[Toomuchhistory1]

SnatchedPencil makes a lot of sense when you say it like that, thanks

[SilkThreads]

littlemachine and toomuchhistory

THANK YOU! I am not on FB so this had passed me by.

I have tons of kids clothes and lots of soft toys / small items that I could donate.

it's not much, but it is something.

[SnatchedPencil]

You're not unreasonable to feel that way, provided that you don't demand friends and family live their Christmas by your viewpoint.

Personally I realise that me worrying about Syria or anywhere else won't change a damned thing.

I will admit that I suffer from depression. The "daily-or-more-frequently-thoughts-of-suicide-even-when-I-feel-good" sort of depression. One of the first things my CBT therapist asked me was how often I watched the news. A lot was my answer. I could happily stick a 24 hour news channel on all day if I didn't have better things to do. The thing is, news coverage is OVERWHELMINGLY negative. Disasters, horrific crimes, war - the more graphic the images, the more disgusting the gory details, the more viewers/readers/listeners a news outlet will get. They know how to push your buttons so that you push the button for their channel. In simple maths:

More Distressing Images = More Viewers = KERRRRCHINGG!!!!

It's the same reason that crisis appeals a produced to show the most disturbing images of dying children, maltreated animals or whatever else they are seeking your money for. In the industry it is known as disaster porn - seriously, it really is - and as with "normal" pornography, graphic images are shown with little-to-no storyline in order to elicit a certain response from the viewer and therefore obtain their money as opposed to it being spent on a different "content" provider.

A person would have to be utterly heartless to not be moved by distressing images of war, famine, disease etc. BUT please do not let thoughts of these things take over your life. Give money if you want, buy charity calendars or Christmas cards, even travel out to Syria with a charity to help directly with distributing aid.

But remember, no matter how much you personally, or us all as a country, contribute in terms of money and aid - we cannot prevent somebody from suffering. We can try to help as best we can, but we cannot prevent a war or a natural disaster. We can try to help as best we can, but our worrying won't change a damned thing. More than anything, NONE OF IT IS OUR FAULT.

For me personally, this last point was (and still is) a real struggle for me to recognise. I see horrific images and feel like I have let the victims down in some way, as if I am personally responsible. I might not be perfect, but the war in Syria is not my fault. Floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, none of them are personally my fault. I'd actually prefer none of them to happen.

Try to help the citizens of Aleppo by all means, but don't let the worry be at the cost of your own mental health.

[Guitargirl]

I give regularly to a number of different charities which work in Syria. One of them explains on their website why it is that they ask for money instead of donations of clothes and other things. The amount of money that it costs to transport a crate of donations from the UK to Syria is eye-watering. And it all has to pass through Turkey which has strict customs laws on what it can and cannot allow to come into/out of the country. With cash donations the charity can purchase what it needs to more locally - which also benefits local economies.

I have been feeling completely helpless about what those people are going through. We have an annual carol concert each year at work and I didn't go this year as I just couldn't face it. And I know it's not only Syria and there are people suffering all over the world. But the way those people have been completely abandoned when the world after every atrocity says 'never again' is absolutely sickening.

[mimishimmi]

"The arms manufacturers are making billions out of it. I bet they aren't feeling any guilt. The bastards"

This. It's all manufactured (not saying it's not real though) and all very deliberate...

[GreatFuckability]

Being 'mindful' won't help much!

yes it does, it helps you be appreciative and even when you feel like things are rubbish, you can turn those thoughts into realising how lucky you are. I try to teach my kids that even on their worst day, they have it good.

Have you cancelled Christmas yourself then?

No, of course not. Christmas is about spending time with friends and family however, being thankful for things, not spending squillions on shit you don't need.

[G0ld1l0cks]

We are so so lucky just to have our friends and family around us ; to cherish that and that alone will relight the spirit of Christmas ; no need for the ridiculous tv extravagance. There are a million ways to help the homeless , or unaccompanied refugee children . Go to your local council website and/or get the whole family to sponsor a meal for the homeless. It eliminates the guilt and spreads the love 😘

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

Why pick on 2016 to shed your compassion tears?

Sounds like you forgot to use the phrase "handwringing lefty liberal" or something. Don't be such an utter dick booklooker. It's horrible when people get all sneery and superior on threads like these. It's pretty obvious that 2016 has been a completely shit year globally.

But there would have been plenty of people who felt like this in 1984, for example.

[Toomuchhistory1]

Thanks all, glad not only me feeling this way. I appreciate there are terrible things going on in every part of the world - I suppose the situation in Aleppo seems to me to be far more visual than I can remember (more recent to this the little boy who drowned on the beach who's image will haunt me forever), pictures and videos of children particularly who have been killed. I don't want to become numb to these images as I think we are at risk of doing because they are becoming more and more frequent. Maybe this year (and maybe hormonally having a 4 month old!) it just hits home that bit more - I was taking my DS to bed the other evening and just looking in his room at how lucky he is, a safe roof above his head, books to read, a warm bed, PJs, just appreciating every little thing, and maybe thats just what I should do this Christmas as many of you have suggested.

Xxx

[booklooker]

Has there been any year when there hasn't been some atrocity around the world taking place?

Why pick on 2016 to shed your compassion tears?

[amispartacus]

We don't really have any excuse for 'not knowing' unlike in the old days when it was hard to find things out. Unfortunately there is a lot of awful stuff out there and we are aware of it now. It does put things into perspective and make you realise how lucky we are to even have a roof over our head, food on the table and a life of relative safety.

I do wish we could live in a better world. But we don't. Will we ever?

[Thisjustinno]

Truly awful things are happening all over the world every day. War, torture, murder, rape, abuse.

There will be children in your town/city being sexually abused, women being beaten by their partners, infants being neglected, people living on the streets, addicts selling their bodies or their Christmas presents for money for a fix.

There are people thousands of miles away suffering and people just up the road suffering.

Enjoy Christmas. Be thankful for what you have. Try and help others if you can; both abroad and locally.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

I don't think the op wants to stop people enjoying Christmas and I certainly don't. It's just this frantic consumption and waste is ringing even more hollow than usual. Can we not enjoy ourselves in other ways, like being genuinely thankful for what we already have?

[Whatslovegottodo]

I know how you are feeling OP.
I am really struggling with it all to the point of feeling low at the horrors these people are enduring. I try to be as useful as possible in my own small way. I have donated what I can to MSF, done refugee bag collections, emailed MP, share info and links on Facebook. Just really small things but if we all did it would mount up.
I will still by pressies for the family and eat a big dinner and enjoy seeing friends and family over Christmas, because what's the alternative really?
Us being miserable isn't going to change a single thing we must just do what we can.

[Wookiecookies]

OP, dont let it ruin your christmas, "there but for the grace" etc... It is important you take the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate your family and friends, in a way that others cant right now. That is a respectful gesture in its own right imho, there really is little else that can be done by any of us right now, other than taking time to reflect on those less fortunate and really appreciating what we have.

[Wookiecookies]

Sorry If I missed it, but is there a link to donate cuddly toys for children in syria? It seems so small a gesture, but its about all that can be done at this point. At least it might brighten a little ones dark days, if only for a while

[CockacidalManiac]

You can't stop people enjoying Xmas; you don't know what's going on in their lives, they might find it an escape.
People are murdered by their governments every day; the situation in Aleppo is horrendous, but people die daily in the Palestinian Territories, sub-Saharan Africa, central and South America.
If you want to make a difference, volunteer or donate.

[NotStoppedAllDay]

Being 'mindful' won't help much!

Have you cancelled Christmas yourself then?