To think it should not take 7 days to organise a detention

[ReallyTired]

My son has been late for school 5 times this week. He is 14 years old and a pain up the backside. His school cannot get their act together to organise detentions. His detention for Monday's late is next week. I feel that a detention should ideally be in the same day or failing that the next day. There are so many naughty children there is insufficient capacity in the dining room.

I feel that the school should set up an over flow detention room to endure that punishments happen within 24 hours of the misdeed. Maybe there would be no need for two detentions rooms if punishments happened faster.

I am angry that the school are refusing to arrange a face to face meeting with be to discuss Ds refusal to go to registration before Christmas. Ds prefers the detentions to being bullied. I want alternative arrangements to be made for him to register if he is too scared to go to form time.

Am I unreasonable to make formal complaint? At dd's primary they would be organising the meeting. Dd's headteacher is very hot on attendence issues.

[Wolfiefan]

Don't worry about when the detention is set. Really not the issue here.
The real problem is the bullying. Call the school. Make an appointment. Go in and work together to figure out a way to stop the bullying.

[ReallyTired]

"If only that were true. Most secondary staff have several hats that they wear. Unfortunately the days of funding for specialised pastoral care are over. "

What makes you think that primary staff don't wear several hats or have other pressures like OFSTED?

My nephew's secondary school is OFSTED outstanding as staff as swift to remove barriers to learning. They see the Christmas concert being less of a priority than attendence. My sister in law is a governor and she tells me that putting effort into their pastoral care is why they are OFSTED outstanding. Ds' school find the money to put on the most amazing musicals that only a tiny fraction of the children have a chance to be in. They don't make the time or spend money to sort out bullying or poor behaviour. If you have an efficient system of pastoral care then teachers have more time to teach and children can get on with learning.

I believe that a seven day wait for a detention is a break down in pastoral care. Detentions are there to make the child think about their behaviour.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

You're really determined to miss the bigger picture, even though several posters have pointed out the more pressing issue...

[Wolfiefan]

Ok. He was late. He does the detention. Really not the issue.
Sort the bullying. No more detentions. Problem solved.
If you are really so completely unhappy with the school and have no faith in it at all then withdraw him and make alternative arrangement. Complaining bitterly about the wait for a detention wastes time and won't solve the problem.

[ReallyTired]

"
If you are really so completely unhappy with the school and have no faith in it at all then withdraw him and make alternative arrangement. Complaining bitterly about the wait for a detention wastes time and won't solve the problem. confused"

It's not easy to change schools during GCSE years. It's not just finding a school but finding a school that has places and can offer the subjects Ds has picked. No, home education is not an option.

[Trifleorbust]

With respect, OP, you are entitled to that opinion but the school isn't obliged to schedule detentions at the time you think is appropriate. You are also coming across as strangely fixated on this issue rather than the (much bigger) issue of how to deal with your son, the fact that he is being bullied and his school refusal. These factors are going to have a much greater impact on his GCSEs and wellbeing than when he does his detention, aren't they?

[OpalTree]

Agree with this
delayed punishment is inappropriate for puppies and tiny children but a 14 year old can understand it fine. Your problem is the bullying - that needs to be dealt with right away.

[CancellyMcChequeface]

In general, I agree that detentions should take place in a timely manner.

However, if the ongoing lateness/school refusal is due to bullying, I think it's very unfair to your son to punish him at home (no internet/phone) too. Schools have to follow their detention policy with regard to attendance but surely as his parent you should be supportive of him in this.

If he was skipping school because he couldn't be bothered to go or wanted to hang around with friends during the day, then yes, that would merit a harsher response, but if it's about bullying? He needs to feel as if there's someone who understands and is on his side. Also, if it's bad enough, any punishment will be ineffective, because being in detention, or at home with no internet/extra chores/whatever is still preferable to having to go into school on time and deal with the bullies!

[Wolfiefan]

I didn't say it was easy but if your son is unhappy and you think the school is rubbish then it may be a better option. If you aren't prepared to work with the school or convinced they can and will stop the bullying then what's the point in sending him there?

[DarkNanny]

If the lad is opting out due to bullies why would you punish him again ?
Draw a line under it sort out the bullying issue and then re engage the lad

[DarkNanny]

With ref to contacting people do what my friend did he went up to the school and said that if the bullying didn't stop the police would be involved and private action would be taken against the school for failing to protect his child.

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

I don't think it's fair for a child to be punished both by the school and home.

Then why are you punishing him as well when he has a detention?

[DarkNanny]

Detentions are ethically wrong to be given for his lateness as the greater crime is the bullying.

[winewolfhowls]

Ofsted outstanding means jack shit

There are not enough teachers to teach adequately in many schools, there aren't spare staff for detentions. Although I agree that if detention is the sanction then it should be the same day ( detentions are not an effective way to change or improve behaviour and attitudes)