To think it should not take 7 days to organise a detention

[ReallyTired]

My son has been late for school 5 times this week. He is 14 years old and a pain up the backside. His school cannot get their act together to organise detentions. His detention for Monday's late is next week. I feel that a detention should ideally be in the same day or failing that the next day. There are so many naughty children there is insufficient capacity in the dining room.

I feel that the school should set up an over flow detention room to endure that punishments happen within 24 hours of the misdeed. Maybe there would be no need for two detentions rooms if punishments happened faster.

I am angry that the school are refusing to arrange a face to face meeting with be to discuss Ds refusal to go to registration before Christmas. Ds prefers the detentions to being bullied. I want alternative arrangements to be made for him to register if he is too scared to go to form time.

Am I unreasonable to make formal complaint? At dd's primary they would be organising the meeting. Dd's headteacher is very hot on attendence issues.

[winewolfhowls]

Ofsted outstanding means jack shit

There are not enough teachers to teach adequately in many schools, there aren't spare staff for detentions. Although I agree that if detention is the sanction then it should be the same day ( detentions are not an effective way to change or improve behaviour and attitudes)

[DarkNanny]

Detentions are ethically wrong to be given for his lateness as the greater crime is the bullying.

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

I don't think it's fair for a child to be punished both by the school and home.

Then why are you punishing him as well when he has a detention?

[DarkNanny]

With ref to contacting people do what my friend did he went up to the school and said that if the bullying didn't stop the police would be involved and private action would be taken against the school for failing to protect his child.

[DarkNanny]

If the lad is opting out due to bullies why would you punish him again ?
Draw a line under it sort out the bullying issue and then re engage the lad

[Wolfiefan]

I didn't say it was easy but if your son is unhappy and you think the school is rubbish then it may be a better option. If you aren't prepared to work with the school or convinced they can and will stop the bullying then what's the point in sending him there?

[CancellyMcChequeface]

In general, I agree that detentions should take place in a timely manner.

However, if the ongoing lateness/school refusal is due to bullying, I think it's very unfair to your son to punish him at home (no internet/phone) too. Schools have to follow their detention policy with regard to attendance but surely as his parent you should be supportive of him in this.

If he was skipping school because he couldn't be bothered to go or wanted to hang around with friends during the day, then yes, that would merit a harsher response, but if it's about bullying? He needs to feel as if there's someone who understands and is on his side. Also, if it's bad enough, any punishment will be ineffective, because being in detention, or at home with no internet/extra chores/whatever is still preferable to having to go into school on time and deal with the bullies!

[OpalTree]

Agree with this
delayed punishment is inappropriate for puppies and tiny children but a 14 year old can understand it fine. Your problem is the bullying - that needs to be dealt with right away.

[Trifleorbust]

With respect, OP, you are entitled to that opinion but the school isn't obliged to schedule detentions at the time you think is appropriate. You are also coming across as strangely fixated on this issue rather than the (much bigger) issue of how to deal with your son, the fact that he is being bullied and his school refusal. These factors are going to have a much greater impact on his GCSEs and wellbeing than when he does his detention, aren't they?

[ReallyTired]

"
If you are really so completely unhappy with the school and have no faith in it at all then withdraw him and make alternative arrangement. Complaining bitterly about the wait for a detention wastes time and won't solve the problem. confused"

It's not easy to change schools during GCSE years. It's not just finding a school but finding a school that has places and can offer the subjects Ds has picked. No, home education is not an option.

[Wolfiefan]

Ok. He was late. He does the detention. Really not the issue.
Sort the bullying. No more detentions. Problem solved.
If you are really so completely unhappy with the school and have no faith in it at all then withdraw him and make alternative arrangement. Complaining bitterly about the wait for a detention wastes time and won't solve the problem.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

You're really determined to miss the bigger picture, even though several posters have pointed out the more pressing issue...

[ReallyTired]

"If only that were true. Most secondary staff have several hats that they wear. Unfortunately the days of funding for specialised pastoral care are over. "

What makes you think that primary staff don't wear several hats or have other pressures like OFSTED?

My nephew's secondary school is OFSTED outstanding as staff as swift to remove barriers to learning. They see the Christmas concert being less of a priority than attendence. My sister in law is a governor and she tells me that putting effort into their pastoral care is why they are OFSTED outstanding. Ds' school find the money to put on the most amazing musicals that only a tiny fraction of the children have a chance to be in. They don't make the time or spend money to sort out bullying or poor behaviour. If you have an efficient system of pastoral care then teachers have more time to teach and children can get on with learning.

I believe that a seven day wait for a detention is a break down in pastoral care. Detentions are there to make the child think about their behaviour.

[Wolfiefan]

Don't worry about when the detention is set. Really not the issue here.
The real problem is the bullying. Call the school. Make an appointment. Go in and work together to figure out a way to stop the bullying.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

I agree with pp.

You seem to be focusing on the detention here but that doesn't sound like your biggest problem.

Call school on Monday. Ask for an appointment with head of year. Focus on the bullying and how you can get him to attend.

[cansu]

You seem to be mixing up two separate issues the timing of the detention and the reason your ds is bunking registration. What are the problems with the registration. I think he should attend the detentions for lateness but you also need to ask for a meeting about whatever ussues your ds has with attending school.

[Boundaries]

In a secondary school they should have the staff to deal with pastoral issues. Generally secondary schools are better resourced with several assistant heads,



If only that were true. Most secondary staff have several hats that they wear. Unfortunately the days of funding for specialised pastoral care are over.

I agree with noble - email the HoY. Try and arrange a meeting for next week so you can agree a plan of action for the new year.

[Sybys]

I do not know how old your son is
It's in the second sentence of the OP...

[ForalltheSaints]

I do not know how old your son is or how disruptive it would be, but this school sounds bad enough that you ought to be exploring other ones for him to transfer to. A week to wait for a detention seems to be the lesser of problems here.

[DoctorDonnaNoble]

We don't have the 'extra staff' you mention at our school. All mentoring and pastors care is done by teachers. And yet we manage to deal with the issue. I think both sides need to be a little more proactive.
Don't phone in, it's rare that you'd catch a secondary teacher when free by phone. Email, save all your sent messages in a new folder and request read receipts, if possible also mark the importance as high (I have to do this with stuff to our pastoral manager as he gets so many emails things can get lost). If no reply, contact the person above the Head of Year with copies of the emails.

[Trifleorbust]

There is really no excuse. In a secondary school the SLT do not have a full teaching load.

No, but they have significant responsibilities outside of classroom teaching - they are usually on call to classrooms, line managing staff, reporting to governors, managing student behaviour etc. And they are usually responsible for 1,000 students. You aren't being unreasonable to expect support but this shows a lack of understanding of the workload in a school, which can be immense.

[MsJamieFraser]

Yanbu, put it in writing to the form teacher, they have to act in it, and when they have their ofsted, they will have to explain why it took so long to get the bullying issue sorted.

[Trifleorbust]

If detention is full, it's full. I think delayed punishment is inappropriate for puppies and tiny children but a 14 year old can understand it fine. Your problem is the bullying - that needs to be dealt with right away.

[DarkNanny]

If he Is been bullied then his not going to go in to avoid the bullying that's right isn't it ? So really it is the bullying that the school needs to tackle without loosing your sons desire to attend school because if he becomes a none attender that's when things get harder for both of you, so your job is to work out why and when and what is happening to him to make him not attend then present that to the School so they can protect your sons wellbeing work out a way forward he feels safe with

[noblegiraffe]

You didn't say he only attended registration three times last term in your OP, you said he'd been late 5 times in a week.

Why are you complaining about a detention not being set until Monday when apparently your real issue is that your DS has been regularly bunking off registration since September?

What was done last term to address this? Why is he still in the same tutor group if he is being bullied?