Teachers bullying my child

[FourKidsNotCrazyYet]

To think my son deserves better? Basically my son goes to a primary school in Scotland (he's P7, started at this school in P4 and he's aged 11) that we have had constant problems with. There are a few children that swear (the F word and C bomb are quite popular). We didn't know the area at all as we moved here from Hampshire for my husbands work. There are no reviews online and I didn't know anyone to ask for personal recommendations. I did view it and thought it was the best id seen, the teachers were lovely, the walls bright etc etc. For various reasons I've massively gone off the school (they don't deal with bullying at all) and just waiting for him to leave for High school in August. Today however he was called stupid by a supply teacher. Apparently she was screaming and yelling at him and generally losing her cool. (He wrote a D backwards) At morning break DS was in such a state he found the deputy head and told him what happened for him to March him back to the class room (break ends, class returns) and tell DS off for complaining about another teacher, while all the time asking the supply teacher to stop shouting 'shut up' and generally yelling at the class. Then the headmistress came in and all three were telling my DS off and raising their voices at him in front of the whole class. He was hysterical when I collected him. I phoned the school and the head said it never happened! My DS still said it did and then the head told me she not longer wanted any communication with me at all and refused a meeting to deal with it. I've since spoken to my friends wee lad and his story is similar to my DS (and they haven't conferred as wee lad left for dentist after it happened)

[JunosRevenge]

I'd be in touch with the Area Education Manager at your local council straight away. Put your complaint in writing.

I lived in a remote area in Scotland for a number of years and worked for an education dept. Some schools were staffed by 'local' members of staff who didn't always take kindly to 'incomers'. (Others were lovely).

I wouldn't let your son go back to that school until the AEM has resolved the matter.

My DD was bullied. We lived in a small town so there wasn't another high school she could go to. Our situation didn't resolve until we moved.

[Gincident]

Unfortunately by moving from Hampshire to Scotland you risk your son being treated in this way. People don't like strangers and the tensions between the Scots and English are pretty strained at the moment. Remember that bullies are cowards, so it is not that surprising that the teachers decide to pick on a young boy - it allows them to "punish the English" for the decision to take Scotland out of the EU.

[FourKidsNotCrazyYet]

I've now spent some quiet time with DS getting all facts as far as possible;
DS writes a 'd' backwards and sort of hanging from the line above (his writing is atrocious!) supply teacher says "that's not how you write a 'd'" then starts getting herself wound up by the sounds of it and starts shouting at other children in the class 'shut up' 'sit down' etc even though it's a walk around kind of activity then ends it by shouting at DS 'Stupid, stupid boy' and thrusts book back at him. He goes back to desk and bell goes for morning break. He sees the depute and tells him the teacher shouted that he was stupid. DS says he starts crying relaying the story. They return to the classroom meanwhile the beep goes and all pupils return too. Depute explains to teacher why DS is upset. She's shouting about how unruly they all are and waving her arms about. The depute asks her to calm down a few times, then suggests the head comes in. I'm not sure this is because of DS or the teacher getting loud. The head comes in asks DS what happens he repeats and all three teachers start telling him he shouldn't complain about a teacher, telling him off and just generally being awful, the head said "if you don't like my school tell your dad to find a different one" then left. This is my main concern, if he doesn't have the support of teachers who does he have at the school to go to if needed? It's when I questioned this she totally shut down and cut all contact. It's just the strangest thing. And this is child 3 and our 11the primary. I e never had such bizarre behaviour before.

[Boundaries]

So, I would, calmly, email the Head of the school requesting a meeting tomorrow.
Something has clearly happened to upset your child and it's important to get to the bottom of it. I would perhaps say you'd like the meeting to happen before your child comes back to school.

It's pretty unusual for a Head to refuse to meet a parent, without good reason.

If that mail doesn't get a response, then the board of governors is the next step.

[DailyMailCrap]

Something similar happened when my brother was 10 (I was 18) so I bought a cheap dictophone (shows my age lol) and sent him to school with it and we got the evidence. I used it to escalate to the governors - head, teacher in questionc and bro's form tutor were sacked. Suggest you do something similar if possible.

[Boundaries]

Ah ok Euphemia. I'd still go for putting a request for a meeting in writing rather than just pitching up.

[Trifleorbust]

Honestly, OP, I can't help but notice that the story is now slightly different from its original form - she was 'screaming at him' in your original post but now she was shouting at the class. Then she called your DS stupid (no excuse for that). Then the other teachers are trying to deal with the situation and for some reason end up shouting at your DS? I am not saying he is lying at all but it sounds like one side of a more complex series of events (perfectly natural for an 11 year old to present his own recollection and for that recollection to include the things that stood out to him over other things).

I would probably look at moving schools because the relationship with this school isn't likely to get better at this stage. I

[StatisticallyChallenged]

People don't like strangers and the tensions between the Scots and English are pretty strained at the moment. Remember that bullies are cowards, so it is not that surprising that the teachers decide to pick on a young boy - it allows them to "punish the English" for the decision to take Scotland out of the EU.

What utter bollocks

[Blossomdeary]

The head is absolutely in the wrong in refusing to discuss this with you. There will be policies for dealing with this sort of thing and they do not include refusing to discuss it! Whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation that arose, it is fundamentally against school policies to refuse to deal with it properly. Write to chair of governors.

[baconandeggies]

if he doesn't have the support of teachers who does he have at the school to go to if needed?

Exactly - it's a completely unsafe environment for his mental wellbeing - please don't send him there again. The reaction you got from the head was completely bizarre because she knows it got so ridiculously out of hand.

[baconandeggies]

.. and it was her fault - buck stops with her and she was out of control.

[Pidlan]

What an utter load of shite Gincident

[Maudlinmaud]

What a totally bizarre chain of events. I would ask in writing for a meeting with the head urgently. Will you send your son in tomorrow?

[Cary2012]

Well I'm a teacher at a high school and we've had a few dodgy supply teachers. I taught at primary too, and the supply we had there had such an easy time compared to kids that they meet at high school.

Firstly, the supply shouldn't have shouted.
Secondly, and a bit off topic, but transposing d's and b's is a classic indication of possible dyslexia, any teacher at primary should know this, so even less reason to kick off.

Take it further, but expect the school to close ranks.

[FourKidsNotCrazyYet]

Thanks for all the replies. I'm going to take it further. I still can't get my head around it. My DS hasn't eaten any dinner tonight and keeps crying. I've told him it's his choice for school tomorrow. I'm just shocked. Also I absolutely do NOT think it's any Scottish/English EU issues. We love it here and are very welcomed. It's absolutely beautiful too.

[DotForShort]

I think you are absolutely right to take things further. The school culture sounds chaotic and toxic. If the headteacher refuses to meet with you, do you have a next step planned?

Your poor boy. But he is lucky to have his mother in his corner.

[scottishdiem]

I'd say to the teacher to that either she meets you or you will then complain to the local authority. They should have details on the local authority website. If the council do not resolve it you can go to the Scottish Public Services Ombudsman. You could also complain to your Member of the Scottish Parliament.

(also what Cary2012 said about the dyslexia).

[MrsKCastle]

It all sounds very bizarre, but I can see how it could start... Supply teacher not coping and overreacting, deputy tries to deal with it but ends up getting into a conflict with the supply with children present... That's the point where the HT should have stepped in, taken the supply out for a quiet chat to establish what was going on. Instead the HT appears to have escalated things.

I wouldn't send DS back until I'd had a meeting with the HT. I would be prepared to listen though. I think your DS may well have come across as rude while retelling the story, even if unintentionally. But even if he did, they all sounds very unprofessional.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

I'd believe my DS too. In fact I did. And moved him pronto. My poor DD went through hell last year and I still regret having to keep her there whilst we went through the appeal process etc. We had the same / similar thing. DD would be openly bullied in class and then told to just 'suck it up' (exact words used by the staff at the time). I cant repeat what the HT said to me as a) it was really outlandish and b) people wouldn't believe me if I told them. Thankfully I had a witness at the time who backed me up.