To wish people would stop ordering people to volunteer on Christmas Day

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

When people say they are alone for Christmas they are often referring to the full festive period.

Volunteering is a good thing to suggest but it may be impractical, impossible or it may just make people miserable on a day they already find tough.

Can we tactically agree to stop flinging it out as the solution to end all solutions for every conceivable Christmas woe?

[ilovesooty]

No it isn't the same as a family Christmas day but if that isn't possible you have to accept being alone or do something different.

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

Blimey Jeanne some people might be volunteering because they are decent and unselfish people not because they are lonely and unhappy!

[ilovesooty]

jeanne I think you're right.

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

I do have to commend your attitude ilovesooty - I think possibly I haven't fully accepted my life is how it is!

[Matchingbluesocks]

Me I love sooty? I lived abroad for 6 years and was alone for Xmas' then as the flights were hideous.

Does it matter really? My best friend spends Xmas alone every year for the same reason, I'm sure he finds it a bit depressing but also loves the time off work and so on.

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

Christmas has been quite strange for me ever since I was in my late teens - my mother died when I was doing my A levels and for the first two years after her death we went abroad (dad and brother.)

Once I was at university that was it where family Christmases were concerned I've been on my own since then.

[Matchingbluesocks]

What do your dad and brother do for Xmas?

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

My dad is dead now. My brother works generally :)

[ilovesooty]

I think being stuck somewhere because the flights are horrendous is different to knowing that your family Christmas is a thing of the past.

[LaGattaNera]

I've emailed the Salvation Army near me twice now offering to help out on Christmas Day but no reply, not even to say no thanks

[BarelyKeepingItTogether]

I always find it odd when people supportively suggest that spending, for example, Christmas Day on one's own could be a marvellous treat. Watch whatever you want on television! Get some nice snacks in! Have a lovely long relaxing bath.

I think these suggestions are made by people who have a bunch of small children and a DH and quite relish the idea of a day to themselves.

It rather misses the point that people who live on their own can do this shit whenever we want. We can watch a box set with a tub of twiglets every weekend if we want to. It's not that much of a treat.

[Greengoddess12]

My sister lives alone and is a habitual volunteer as she loves to play the 'my family are so crap card' basically she doesn't want to engage with old parents who need practical Help, as in arse wiping, not fucking around serving tea.

rant over.

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

Yes, I do find that Barely! I do understand it as if you are rushed off your feet all the time it probably does sound great but it's not.

What I hate though is when people claim they are 'jealous'. No, trust me, you are not!

[Matchingbluesocks]

Barely - said friend above who spends it alone does things like having cake for breakfast just because he can (like we all do at Christmas I suppose!) just because he lives alone doesn't mean he can't take advantage of the lack of routine and responsibility for a few days

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

Like every weekend?

[Matchingbluesocks]

Don't you do anything at the weekend?

[Halloweensnake]

Oh dear,that was me on the other thread ,suggesting dvds and baths and chocolate.sorry.didnt mean to cause offence.was genuinely trying to help.sorry again x

[Str4ngedaysindeed]

I run a volunteer centre and from about now onwards we are inundated with people desperately wanting to volunteer on Christmas day . All of the volunteering for that day has been taken usually bymabout august but we always send a list of December/ January roles. People get really snotty with us as if it is our fault and we should be at their feet thanking them for offering their time! It is quite frustrating as organisations need volunteers all year round.

[throughthedeepdarkwoods]

Not all the time no, Matching But my point is I have at least one day every week where I can do whatever I want, have baths and DVDs. Anyway - I don't know if you're trying to argue (huge apologies if not!) am just mentally bracing myself.

[Allovertheworld16]

Also many charities won't accept random people suddenly volunteering as a one off. They're probably inundated anyway.

[reup]

I spent many Christmases alone - sometimes I used to work for part of the day or night or just be at home alone or go away on holiday either by myself or on a group travel thing. I spent one in Spain, Greece, and Italy and its so much less full on in those countries - so much more is open- I went to the cinema on Christmas Day once.

What I hated more than anything were people moaning about having to see their parents as if there was an alternative fun thing that all the single family-less people when to that was so much better. I wanted to scream at them - make the most of it they might die tomorrow!

[Allovertheworld16]

Cross post there re charities. They need help all year !

[reup]

People used to tell me to volunteer too but I didn't have a car so would cost a fortune in taxi fares.

[Ditsy4]

I think it is sad that other people don't invite them. We have had extra people for the last seven years. They would have been on their own otherwise. One is from another country and can't afford to go home( he did manage last year and we missed him), another had a family fall out for several years and another lost his mum to cancer. He never comes but we always invite him and set a place in case he decides to come. They are friends of my sons. We love having them and always get them a small gift. We send them home with some food too so they can have a snack.
I don't understand why their friends or work colleagues don't invite them.
To us it is the real meaning of Christmas. My kids would rather have less so we can afford to do this.
I'm sorry that some will be on their own.

[hopscotchegg]

Yeah. Sometimes you want to talk about ways of coping with a difficult day without being told to volunteer.