To ask what 'partner' means to you? (Light hearted)

[RoseGoldHippie]

So I'm not going to drag on but I was speaking with a shop assistant today whilst buying some pertrol and she commented on all the gossip mags I was buying. I said "oh yeah my partner is in a job interview so I have to entertain myself for the next hour or so" once I'd finished paying she said "good luck tonyiur girlfriend! I hope she gets it!"

Now my DP is most definitely not a woman, I'm not offended I just suddenly realised I may be telling loads of random people I'm a lesbian as I always say Partner (hate boyfriend, sounds like we're at school!)

Does partner to you mean same sex?

[PenguinsandPebbles]

I actually referred to him as

Dear Partner the other day, bit too much MN recently maybe

I'm late 30's and after our first six months before we lived together started saying partner, agree boyfriend seemed weird.

I did a short consultancy job not long after I'd started calling him partner and where he also has a unisex name, when I turned up with him at a work function about five people did do some double takes when I introduced him

[NameChange30]

Penguins YY, I've had to stop myself typing "DH" in messages and even saying it out loud!

[emilybrontescorset]

I think partner means your significant other.
I've never thought it only applies to same sex couples.
I also apply the term to couples who don't live together.

[Pseudonym99]

Years ago partner tended to imply someone of the same sex. These days it doesn't. So a generational thing.

[MonkeyPuzzledTree]

To me it means long term, uh, partner (male or female!).

[clumsyduck]

I'd say partner but a little part of me still thinks do they think I'm a lesbian. Not an issue of course but when I first used to hear the term it always seemed to refer to same sex couples . I don't know what to call him though boyfriend feels ridiculous he's 40 !!

[CouldIHaveIt]

To me it's a 'significant other' of either sex. I only tend to think it's a same sex partner if the person avoids using he/she him/her etc.

YEARS ago, when Adam was a boy, my partner introduced me to a guy as his partner and the guy asked me 'Business Partner or LOVEeeeR' talk about squirm (I was young! Definitely wouldn't squirm now 😂). I managed to stutter 'Both actually'.

[EC22]

What's wrong with boyfriend?
I think parter sounds pretentious.

[PenguinsandPebbles]

anotheremmma so glad it's not just me!

I felt such a tit

[RoseGoldHippie]

Ah I'm so glad I'm not alone in calling him Partner! But I also like some of the other suggestions on the thread and LOL to people saying dear partner in RL! Sounds exactly like something I would do 😝

Thank you for all the responses!

[PenguinsandPebbles]

What's wrong with boyfriend?
I think parter sounds pretentious.

Depends on the person I suppose but for me, I'm nearly 40, have two "step" (trying to adopt) children, pets, trying for a baby and are planning on getting married at some point so to me we are more than boyfriend/girlfriend we are partners in life and crime boyfriend doesn't cover all of the above to me or show our full commitment.

Fiancé sounds pretentious to me and doesn't cover for me what we are to each other.

Different folks I suppose

[80schild]

My old man - he is much older than me. Otherwise I'm not sure.

[Greengoddess12]

Lover?

[OldRosesDoomed]

Partner = unmarried to me. Never thought of it as a gay/lesbian term at all. I do remember a frosty conversation with a midwife 20+ years ago. She asked me what my partner's job was and I said I didn't have a partner. She started wittering on about support and I said my husband was a great support. Got quite clipped that conversation.

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

This thread is interesting for me as I'm a female married to a woman and don't say 'my wife' I say 'my partner' but in my experience when I refer to her as my partner people usually assume it's a man. I suppose I should say 'my wife' really to avoid awkwardness but i once did that and the person I was talking to looked completely confused and tried correcting me by saying 'you mean your husband'. All so confusing.

[user1471545174]

I just say husband now, it seems to be easier for tiny minds to grasp. I said partner for years but think connotation is now same-sex partner so it's just easier to fake an unwanted wedding.

[brasty]

Partner was first used as a term by same sex couples, long before it was legal to get married. It meant we are living together as if we are married, and was used this way in the 80s and 90s. But it has since spread to opposite sex couples, and so I think few would assume that partner means same sex.

[Cantgetmyoldnameback]

Quitmoaning

Couldn't agree more. Was one of the reasons we recently got married after 12 years together! So much easier now!

[Marmalade85]

About 10 years ago I was cold calling and a man referred to their OH as Partner so I referred to the partner as a he and he corrected me that he was not gay. I thought it was for gay relationships also.

[JadziaSnax]

Long term relationship, either same or opposite sex. I usually describe DH as my partner even though we're married. I'm more comfortable with partner than husband.

[TheNaze73]

Partner makes me think same sex.

At the end of the day, I think most terms used for this are a bit wank. Partner, fiancé & in particular "other half" which to me implies you are not an individual are all hideous.

I think BF/GF seem the most unpretentious as any earlier posted said until you're married and then husband/wife once you are. I wouldn't think anyone was more committed if they said partner than if they said boyfriend

[heron98]

I write DP on here but would never say "partner" in real life - I always just call him my boyfriend, although we have been together 6 years and own a house together. Partner sounds a bit formal.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I think 'partner' can imply same-sex. I remember referring to my ex-husband, before we were married, as my 'partner', with a sort of vague sense that it was nice to even that out a bit. And I guess MN influences you too.

I think it applies more to men than women, though. I am amused to notice that everyone is currently assuming a new colleague of ours, who refers to his 'partner', is gay. I know his partner is a 'she' but I think he quite enjoys wrong-footing people as he's not corrected anyone yet.

[NameChange30]

onemore
"I suppose I should say 'my wife' really to avoid awkwardness but i once did that and the person I was talking to looked completely confused and tried correcting me by saying 'you mean your husband'."

What an idiot! I hope you replied: "No, I mean my wife." And added "she was definitely a woman last time I checked"

If anyone is awkward or confused, it's their problem not yours.