To take a sick day (from work) when my children are unwell?

[supermum87]

Hello,

Not really sure how to handle this? Am I even allowed to do this at work?

Background: Have 2 children. 3 and 1 years old. Work part time 3 days a week. I'm still doing the same job I was before having the children, but now job-share.

Today my two children were unwell. Temperate, cough, being sick. So I phoned my boss to say I wouldn't be in as the children were unwell.

My parents cover part of the childcare and today would have been a day with my Mum. However I felt that it wasn't fair on her to have to look after them both when they were this unwell. Also I felt like the both just needed their Mum.

WWYD? I can make up for today's day off by working one of my normal days off & asking my parents to cover that day instead....or I could just call it a sick day? FYI I still get paid on my sick days and in the last five years I've had less than 7 days sick (but have had two years of maternity )

Don't know if this makes a difference. But in my job I won't have any extra work to catch up on.


Thanks

[HateMrTumble]

Unpaid or holiday- and in that situation my children would have still gone to my mum. I'd only have taken it off if it was because they couldn't attend nursery cause of their illness.

[supermum87]

I actually just want to do the right thing. But I do know that if I spoke to my boss he would just let me take it as a sickie.

But I am going to speak to HR about parental leave just so I know where I stand for the future, but in this case I will just work and extra day.

The girl who was covering my first maternity cover had a lot of sick leave. Most Mondays and Fridays & I think she was off for a total of 6 weeks (holidays on top of that too )& I know my boss was livid. & I know I am a valued employee & it's actually quite an informal office.

Really appreciate these replies (even some of the harsher ones)

[MidsummersNight]

Not all places are like this.

My employer is more than happy for me to take sick days if my DD is sick.

I don't get paid for sick days though.

[FarAwayHills]

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your employers so I would discuss with them how they want to record the time off and offer to make up the time. A reasonable employer will be understanding and value your honesty and willingness to catch up.

I am amazed by some the harsh responses on here calling a sick day fraudulent and a sackable offence. I guess you are all incredibly fortunate to have understanding employers or family on call willing look after your sick children. So many employers give parents little choice but to lie because somehow saying you are ill is less frowned upon than taking a day off to be with a sick child.

[Sara107]

I don't see what the problem is, you say you can go in a different day to make up the time. So just do that. Sick days are for when you are sick, there isn't a quota where you can say I've only taken x sick days so I'll just treat myself to one. If you're struggling for time off you can take these odd days as annual leave, and then book a week of parental leave when you want an actual holiday.
Plus you've already told the boss that it's your kids who are sick so it looks poor if you then turn around and try to claim a sick day for yourself!

[wasonthelist]

I don't get paid for sick days though.

You should, if you are an employee.

[TurkeyTwazzock]

My employer is fine for me to take a day off if my child is sick and I don't lose any pay unless I take more than three periods off a year. Check your contract / check with HR.

[Stripyhoglets]

Offer to work the extra day as building up some goodwill is invaluable, I've found.

[OntheAir]

I'd deal with it informally with your boss and under no circumstances at all involve HR, who'll offer you the minimum entitlement.

It sounds as though you're valued by your boss who is rewarding your flexibility by offering some in return. There is no possibility of HR improving this situation.

[clare2307]

I've never had a job where you can take sick leave for a sick child (unless you lie!) I also work time so I have the option of using a days annual leave, unpaid parental leave or making up the time. I think if my boss wanted to, she could enforce the unpaid option, but like yourself, I work hard, reliable etc so she allows me (and others in similar positions) to use the other options if preferred. Sounds like you have a good relationship with them so I would just ask them

[BlackberryandNettle]

Also get the choice of use annual leave/lieu time or unpaid eve in my job. I've considered a sick day when whole family sick (bug going around for a few days).
Do none of the men at your workplace have children by the way?

[supermum87]

The men at my work do have children. However the are all grow up. So this would not be a problem for them

[SheldonCRules]

You can't call in sick if you're not, you can take unpaid leave designed for such circumstances. Your employer also needs to know your partner or s doing his share of days too so as to reassure them they aren't taking the brunt of it all

[NapQueen]

If they were suppsoed to be attending nursery and couldnt due to illness then taking emergency leave to arrange cover is fine.

As it was there was a wholly acceptable alternative of them snuggling up with grandma in their pjs and regular doses of calpol etc that would have worked totally fine. Taking today off yourself today was unnecessary.

[Ankleswingers]

I totally understand why you took the day off op.

TBH, I would have done exactly the same in your shoes. Even if my Mum was meant to have them; I still would have wanted to be with them myself, as their Mum.

How your DC feel better soon.

[YonicProbe]

Taking today off might be strictly unnecessary but certainly when I worked part time, I would've switched a day off to cover this; depends on your job if this is an option.

Not sick leave, though.

[Etak15]

We would get paid carers leave (at managers discretion) but if we have annual leave days left then we would have to take as annual leave.

[moanymandy]

Where I work I can take up to 2 days as emergency leave for depends and this is paid under managers disgresion.(really depends on circumstances of illness)

I would check your HR policy for this type of leave and then have a chat with your manager to agree how the time off is recorded.

I personally would make up some/all of time off where possible though. But like you I am very lucky to have family to do childcare so this is possible.

[crashdoll]

I understand that you wanted to be with them but I think you were silly given that you had childcare lined up. So, you are neither U nor UR. Sorry, not overly helpful!

I see you're going to make up the day anyway and hope your little ones feel better soon. :)

[megletthesecond]

You could take it as unpaid emergency carers / parental leave. I take a couple of days a year when mine are sick on a work day.

[supermum87]

Thanks again for your replies. It's good to know how other workplaces deal with these situations.

I know some posters are saying I could have put the children to my Mums however to me they were exceptionally unwell; cough, cold, temp, sickness. In fairness they have suffered with these symptoms before and not been anywhere near as bad as last night/today. Whatever bug has gotten to them this time it's much worse.

The poster who said "a day snuggled up with grandma on the sofa" My day has been nothing like that. Think two needy, tantruming toddlers who don't know what to do with themselves. Both clinging to me. Cough bothering them so much the can't nap to make up for previous nights wake-ups

Plus my Mum goes to her work as soon as the DC are collected at 4. It would have been a long day for her.

I'm currently in the room with the youngest trying to get him back to sleep & DH is the room with the oldest attempting the same. Fortunately tomorrow is my normal day off so I won't have to worry about pulling a sickie

I really do appreciate everyone who has replied. Another poster mentioned of DH does is fair share of sick days & yes he does. We normally go halves with taking annual leave.

Thanks again

[risinghighinapril]

honeylulu

Some people place their children and family above their colleagues in terms of importance.

As much as I don't like leaving my colleagues in the lurch, my children's welfare does come first.

The OP told her boss what was going on so it'll be sorted pretty easily I'm sure.

[Babyroobs]

I know at my workplace some colleaugues would ring in sick and therefore get paid for the day. I have never felt able to do that and take it as unpaid leave.

[clumsyduck]

There is no problem here
You told the truth they will mark it down with whatever the procedure is within your company . emergency holiday day or unpaid for example

If you decide you'd rather not lose an annual leave day or you don't have any left etc then offer to do an extra day next week .

[myfavouritecolourispurple]

I have never taken sick leave when my son has been sick. Either I've taken AL, I've worked at home, or when he was very small and I had a very enlightened employer, I was able to take up to 5 days' paid dependents leave a year.

But recently I had to take him to a medical appointment and was asking my boss if it was ok for me to swap my hours around. Interestingly she said "can't you take it as a medical appointment" - I said it wasn't my appointment and she said while she appreciated that she wondered if it would be covered. As I work PT and at home, it was fine for me to work the hours later in the day. But I was interested that she suggested that.