To hate the way DH's relatives' say goodbye

[QuestaVecchiaCasa]

I probably am BU but I would be grateful if you could give me some tips on how to manage this better.

When we meet for family gatherings there are usually around 15 of us from 3-4 "nuclear" families. In my book, the family leaving should discretely pack their bags into the car and then 15 people spend 5 minutes in the hallway doing the quick peck on the cheek before the departing family leave.

What happens with DH's family is that as soon as we make initial moves to start our journey home one of them will rush over an start talking to him about something totally irrelevant. The process of packing the car then gets dragged out over about half an hour. They will start the pecking on the cheek business outside on the drive and as there are lots of us it can take ages. Whilst waiting for the people that haven't yet had a kiss, one or two will go to their coats or find a present that they had intended to give us dragging it out any longer, ad infinitum. once it took 3 hours and I am not joking

I can just about cope with this in summer but today, it was bloody cold so I thought I would try a different technique as we were the hosts.

When the departing family had kissed everyone in the hall, I said goodbye and then shut the front door leaving them to faff around packing the car on the drive. It felt a bit rude but the alternative was the possibility of having the front door open for a further hour whilst they messed about.

How do normal families manage this?

[Cleebope]

I see mil every week and the older she gets the more sentimental thus her hugs /kisses happen every week now and I dread it. My family don't do this, we just say goodbye. so I told her last week that I wasn't into all the kisses and she left so offended so tonight I gave her a hug first to make up for it. But I do really hate all that kissing nonsense , ffs we see her all the time.

[kissmethere]

Oh yes can identify with the long goodbyes.
I've got it down par now with a swift sweep if anything anyone may have left behind. I also make sure I have a personal word of thanks with the host so it's not done in a doorway or a driveway and then I know I can jump in the car and wait for anyone who is straggling.
Maybe if you're the host have a little personal goodbye so wen departure time comes everyone is ready to off.

[QuestaVecchiaCasa]

Well this has been useful for me.

Am I right to say that for most families, it is normal just to do a general wave goodbye to the assembled masses and then just head on out the door?

If anyone follows after us whilst getting into the car don't engage, just put own nuclear family into car and make a swift getaway.

I think that I am going to have to err on the side of being rude rather than just firm because firm just doesn't cut it with DH's family. They think they are charmingly Mediterranean with their long lingering leave-taking but are actually just a bit thoughtless and don't notice the inconvenience that they are causing.

So at Christmas if any of them MIL goes off to get us a banana for the trip just as we are trying to go, then she will miss our leaving.

Now I just have to get DH and DCs on board too.

By the way I have just invented a new Italian verb: Faffare = to faff about causing egregious delay to those you purport to love.

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

My ILs are like this. They don't want to look as though they are keen to go, or something. DH has inherited it. After 17 years together, I now just say "Well, goodbye then," and start the kissing, or no one would ever leave.

[pipsqueak25]

long drawn out goodbyes, faffing, lots of frantic waving and honking the car horn as they drive off, just when you think it's safe to go in, they reappear a they've turned the car round up the road [ours is a dead end] cue more frantic waving and horn honking ! bloody hell,love you but just go !