To have spoken up..

[DiddysMammy]

So I was at softplay earlier with my daughter 22 months. We go every Tuesday and see the same faces.. I'm not chummy chummy with anyone there but it's a lovely softplay and fairly quiet so it's not as hellish as others.

Anyway my daughter was busy playing today when a girl who is exactly a year older (I've chatted with her dad a couple of times their birthdays are on the same day) shoved my DD. I let it slide (my DD is fairly tough) then about 5 mins later she did it again. I passed comment that she's wasn't really being herself today (she's normally ok) and her dad just looked at me.. Then about 20 mins later she shoved my DD so hard she came off she ground (not an exaggeration)

Now.. I'm aware we are in a soft play so the landing was padded but I when in to rescue my DD. Took her back to the table I was sat at. Checked her over and gave her a drink and one of those little chocolate animal biscuit things that have been around for years. The other child comes over and helps herself to a biscuit. I took the biscuit back which led to screaming ab dabs from the little angel (note the sarcasm)

The dad comes over and asks what happened. I explain that I took the biscuit back as it a. Hadnt been offered and b. His child had been terribly behaved and I wasn't about to reward her for shoving my daughter and upsetting her. With that he switches saying she is only a baby. (She's nearly 3) she doesn't understand.

I'm sorry to say a turned a bit nasty. I laughed and told him my daughter isn't even 2 yet and she's knows you don't hurt other children and you certainly don't help yourself to other people's food ( she will always say please and wait to be handed what ever she is after)

Was I unreasonable? I'm doubting myself!!

[Toffeelatteplease]

Personally I think you were incredibly restrained.

I'd have done exactly the same thing. except I would have been unlikely to be as patient as to wait til the 3rd shove

[Mishegoss]

Tricky. I don't know if I'd have taken the biscuit back and said those things to the dad BUT on the flip side I wouldnt tolerate my child shoving another kid and grabbing food so I'd have stamped that out immediately. A bit pants all round I'd say.

[DorothyHarris]

You sound over the top OP. I get where other people are coming from re the biscuit and allergies but that's not why you took it, is it? Let's hope your angel is as well behaved 24-7 this time next year....

[OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay]

You were protecting your cub. I think it's understandable. He's probably reflected on it too and will handle it better next time. We're all learning!

[RebelRogue]

Everyone saying they would've let the kid have the biscuit,how mean it was etc, how would you feel if a complete stranger gave your child a biscuit/sweetie/whatever? Or is it ok if the child helps themselves?

[Flowercat16]

Gosh the fact the father just sat there and allowed his little delight, to push your child three times. And it is a bit worrying this little girl is taking food, uninvited off strangers! Clearly, lazy parenting.

[ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual]

I think you need to be really careful with congratulating yourself on your dd's behaviour...they can go through a phase even with the best parenting and you don't know what's round the corner. I probably would have let her have the biscuit but encouraged her to go elsewhere afterwards.

That being said, I have a really, really low tolerance of shit behaviour at soft play. I don't allow it from my dc so I'm sure as hell not going to let them be pushed about by someone else's.

[Lewwat]

Apart from the my dd at 22months knows not to hurt others (do you want a gold star?! ) YANBU

[CoolCarrie]

Have a mate who used to shout at my son when he was playing at her house because she thought he was too rough around her dd, she wasn't used to boys at all. my ds was the only boy in the group at that time.
Four years later she had ds, and he is an total nightmare, nipping babies, grabbing at everything, very rough with other kids, must admit to a little smile at how full on her ds is, compared to my ds behaviour at that age. we never know just how our dc turn out as they get older, but you did the right thing op. Dc need to learn boundaries or grow up unpleasant and unpopular.

[witsender]

I wouldn't 'bollock' a 3 yr old...they're hardly big!

I said the OP wasn't unreasonable to.be peeved, but her response sounds unreasonable to me.

[Halloweensnake]

I'd would said at the first push,,no pushing that's wrong..and said it again and again...and spoke to the dad ..maybe he didn't see.or didn't care.

[PhilODox]

You were right to take the biscuit back- you don't know what allergies/intolerances someone else's children have, and she hadn't been offered one!

[RebelRogue]

Why does OP being "sanctimonious " negate 1.the child's behaviour 2. Inadequate supervision. ?

If someone challenged my parenting over this,dunno maybe i'd laugh,maybe i'd think they're x,y,z ...but dd would still get a bollocking,especially for taking food.

[lougle]

An angel at 2 can be a nightmare at......2 years 1 week Never count your chickens before they hatch.

[icelollycraving]

I probably wouldn't take the biscuit away from a kid. I would tell them not to push etc.
I remember telling one kid off for blocking everything ds wanted to play on at soft play. He was probably about 3,the girl was older. Her mum was absolutely unaware & in the end I asked her to keep an eye on her as she was a brat spirited.

[MakeMyWineADouble]

You weren't wrong to take the biscuit back it wasn't hers, it wasn't offered and without knowing the child/parents well there's the whole allergy thing too! Commenting on the 3 year olds behaviour that's tricky I probably wouldn't have said anything but I'm a wimp 😳

[witsender]

3 really isn't very big, you sound very smug. Not unreasonable to be riled at her behaviour but you overrated and I probably would have laughed at your sanctimony.

[sonlypuppyfat]

You did absolutely the right thing, my DD has just started secondary school and is having to deal with the little shits that parents couldn't be bothered to control. Everyone's so nicey nicey they let their kids behave exactly how they want because they don't want to upset them

[youarenotkiddingme]

Children shove. Not really acceptable but they do and the dad was wrong for not intervening. Can't really blame the 2yo!

However I'd have taken food off of a child who helps themselves. I'd do it to my own and I believe showing your child you expect other children to behave to the standards you set them.

[Ameliablue]

He should have been supervising his daughter better however, if you're daughter is only two, be careful what you say as she could be behaving completely differently a year down the line.

[Eevee77]

YANBU. The dad needed to be watching her. Ridiculous that he didn't notice 3! Shoves and his daughter helping herself to food. I don't think YABU to take the biscuit off her either with the allergy risk.

[DiddysMammy]

I didn't snatch it.. Just said "no lovely that's not for you" and took it back.

Allergies never even crossed my mind.

[ThatStewie]

I would have taken the biscuit because of food allergies. Never a good idea to go be small children food without parental consent because 2 year olds don't know better.

The father should have stepped in much earlier with the pushing but your baby is still very young. You might find that in 12 months your child is the one who is pushing or even buying. Three is a difficult age as they don't have the communication skills to express their needs which can result in behaviour that needs be of us want but is totally normal

[luckylucky24]

I don't think you're overreacting. I get kids shouldn't need constantly watching at soft play (after a certain age) but you should keep an eye on them and so many parents dont.
Last week I peeled a little boy off a girl he had pushed over then repeatedly jumped on and hit. The girl was crying and the mother came over after I picked her up and asked me if I saw what happened. The little boy got away with his behaviour and will probably do it again as no one knew who his parents were. He was around two and totally unattended!

[ArmySal]

I couldn't have taken a biscuit off a 3 year old He should have been watching her a little better though.