to ask if MH issues amongst our young have increased since my day?

[UnseenAcademical]

I've name-changed for this because in the context of my other posts it could be identifying.

I teach in a modern university. My students are diverse, but the vast majority are between 18-26. I'm an X'er and grew up in the 70s and 80s. I do not have children, relevant because my only point of contact is through my work.

To be succinct, the first part of my AIBU is to wonder if mental illnesses / health concerns are increasing in young people today (compared with recent generations). I ask this because large numbers of my students have various anxieties and other MH issues. In the context of one of my classes, I ask who knows someone personally who has committed suicide and almost every hand goes up. I see cutters and other harmers in class and have read more notes from MH professionals than I care to think about. Other colleagues say the same.

The second, and potentially more controversial part of my ABIU, is to ask whether this has anything at all to do with modern parenting and educational practices (I'm not suggesting that these are the only contributing factors). I ask this because many (and certainly not all) of my students often seem to be so fragile and lacking in resiliency. Many struggle with failure and with comments that are designed to support and pave the way for better work. I'm told by those who have children in the school system that a major focus of parenting and teachers is on self-esteem. I'm confused because the students I see often seem to have very low self-esteem or a sense of personal identity that is strong only when being praised, not challenged. I'm at a loss with regard to how to support them.

Is something going wrong? If so what? Or is it (sadly) all down to the fucked up world we live in more generally?

[corythatwas]

In previous generations, you have to allow for the covering up of suicides and suicide attempts to spare the family (and allow for burial in consecrated ground). And suicides themselves would go to great lengths to make it look like an accident.

Remember that bit in Downton where Carson decides to tell the family that Mr Barrow is ill in bed with influenza (aka slicing your wrists in the bath)? And where the main focus of everybody who deals with it is not to listen to him but to make sure that he doesn't have to go into hospital "for his own sake"?

Of course anyone who works in MH is going to see an increase. They never saw my grandfather- because my grandmother carried him for 50 years, as he freely admits in his autobiography. They never saw my DM- because carrying her was my job as a child. Afaik they haven't seen my db either, and they haven't seen me. But they have seen my dd- because I bloody well insisted! My generation is the first one that feels confident enough to tell their nearest and dearest to go and get seen without fearing that it will ruin their lives forever.

As an academic tutor I deal with a lot of young people with MH issues. And there is nothing like the feeling of seeing one of them dealing with the hand life has dealt them and come out triumphant at the other end and knowing that our support had a small part to play in that.

[murmuration]

I think society has changed and it is probably harder on mental resilience to be a young person these days.

But something a psychiatristic professional said has also stuck with me, that pharmacology has improved vastly in recent decades and has enabled people to attend University who would have been very low functioning in the past.

[PuppetInParadize]

See, in the 'old' days it was always bipolar that was regarded as familial. Now it seems unipolar depression and anxiety are now genetic. This makes sense in my own family as lots of relatives had depression and anxiety - but I don't think there was any bipolar. Of course I haven't met all my ancestors and I can only go on what others have told me. I think knowing it's not all 'personal weakness' for letting the ruddy black dog is is quite reassuring.

[PuppetInParadize]

user, i think you are right about that. Also the 24-hour news is a new thing. Bulletins about world and domestic politics available all the time. It's hard to be optimistic at the moment when you look at what's going on in the world. Social media doesn't always help either. I spent time earlier reading a happy thread - but that's fairly rare on MN too.

[Lancelottie]

Snap, Cory. My mother, brother and (strongly suspect) my grandfather are or were bipolar, complete with delusional behaviour and a tendency to disappear when in a 'phase'. Depression and anxiety run very clearly through the other side of the family. Autism almost certainly runs down both sides.

We have positively multicoloured dogs in this family.

[user1472419718]

I think it is talked about more.

Also, young people I think have more to worry about. They come out of university with an average of £44,000 of debt, into an economy where there is no guarantee of getting a job.

On top of that social media means that they see everyone around them off on exotic holidays, posting about their successes etc, and they see themselves as failures in comparison.

In addition, the world isn't exactly a pleasant place to live in right now, all we seem to hear about on the news right now is war, terrorism, global disasters, and political chaos.

[PuppetInParadize]

I was a depressed teenager in the 1970s, eating disorder, low self esteem, the lot. Nobody gave a stuff and I tried to cover it up. Even once it was out in the open nobody much tried to help or support. But I was aware of older family members who had MH problems - in the 40s, 50s, and an aunt committed suicide in the 1980s. My dad never discussed it - I think he just didn't know how - but my mum would tell me things about her family and dad's. I assume others of my generation were suffering too but nobody had the language to talk about it.

I don't know if it's commoner now or just more talked about. Or whether my family history is excessive in having so many suicides and MH problems. What i do find now in using MH services is that they are more accessible, the practitioners less paternalistic, more informed. Some of that is because I am more self-aware and accepting but the training is different too, and the way the professionals talk is more, well, professional.

[OnceAponAMum]

I've not read all the comments but there was a fantastic Ted talk by Natasha Devon on this recently. m.youtube.com/watch?v=tqf607N19Is it is very worth watching. She was the governments schools champion for mental health until she was sacked for criticising them.

[FarAwayHills]

I know someone who has worked in MH for over 30 years and she agrees that MH problems are on the increase in teens and young people. In fact she would say that it's at crisis levels.

[corythatwas]

Am ever so slightly wary of the idea that depression and anxiety in young people must be the result of youngsters having been spoiled or wrapped in cotton wool or subjected to family breakdown.

In my family high levels of depression and anxiety is genetic. It is reported through at least 4 generations. It is probably connected with another genetic problem which is known to have co-morbidity. But the only case that will leave any trace in the records is that of my dd. Not necessarily because hers is the worst case, but because she is the first family member to have received any outside help. Before that, family members bore the burden of propping up the afflicted. Which in its turn possibly did not help with their own anxiety levels.

We are not known for our emphasis on vanity or pushiness; we are on the whole kindly people who get on well with children, our own and those of others; most of us have had very happy marriages; it doesn't show on the outside and never has. But the black dog is a family member, no doubt about it.

[IThinkIMadeYouUpInsideMyHead]

I work with young people on a resilience & anti-anxiety programme and one of the activities they do at the start of every session is write down something good they've done or experienced since the last session. They are meant to be everyday pleasures like laughing with friends or doing better than expected in a test or the like.

There is a disturbingly high proportion of them who genuinely cannot call to mind something positive they've experienced in the last week. This is not because their lives are relentlessly miserable but I wonder if it's because (a) they're constantly exposed to the perfect lives of characters in the media and comparing their lives negatively and becoming dissatisfied and (b) they are so bombarded with information and notifications that they are anaesthetised to real feeling and so become dissatisfied.

Regarding suicide, my friend pointed out at a recent funeral we attended, of a 15-year-old who killed herself, that suicide is now part of our community's culture as a method of responding to difficulty or trauma.

And then, it's just so much harder to be a teen now, and we have removed the option for children to learn how to fail in a safe way before we send them out in the world because children are not allowed to fail. As someone who works with students, I'm sure you've met parents who micromanage their adult children's education. Those kids must feel horribly powerless...

[printmeanicephoto]

Sorry "too high a focus..." not "to"

[printmeanicephoto]

OP- my guess as to why there are more MH issues in children and young adults today are (and many of these are interconnected):

1. Higher rates of family breakdown
   
2. Today's vanity culture (selfie epidemic, obsession with appearance over character - kids grow up too soon)
   
3. Cotton wool parenting (too child centered)
   
4. To high a focus on academic achievement by schools
   
5. Focus on "happiness being everything"
   
6. Social media

[corythatwas]

Also, OP, do you ask people of your own generation the same question about who knows someone who has committed suicide of people? I can think of several- and they would all be in late middle-age if they hadn't.

[corythatwas]

OP, in my young days, you didn't see people in wheelchairs attending uni either- does that mean that more people are wheelchair-users now?

I remember my dad, who was a Sixth Form teacher back in the 50s-80s once musing on how wonderful it was that one of his students was able to attend though she was in a wheelchair. These days you'd expect that as a matter of course. In his young days, "people like that" didn't expect to be given the same chances as "normal" people.

A far higher proportion of the population attends university, full stop; also, universities these days are quite open about admitting and supporting people with MH issues.

Certainly remember several cases of anorexia in the boarding school I attended briefly in the 70s; don't know how many of them made it to uni.

Also plenty of my generation who dropped out of uni- often because of what you would call MH issues these days. There was less pressure on both young people and universities to get everybody through no matter what: failure is not permissible in the same way.

[Meemolly]

I love that cartoon, and really needed to read it right now. It's a sad day for a sad reason and I can't explain to anyone why I am ok with being in the sad without probably sounding odd.

[NotHardUpNow]

... finger trouble. These are the most severe cases so there are probably many more suffering from poor MH, I would include one of my own DC in that category. I was born in the 50s and we were expected to put up and shut up with what life dealt you. Schools seemed designed to crush every bit of spirit and personality out of you, self esteem was positively discouraged. Their message seemed to be you are a piece of shit but we will beat you into shape so that you will not be quite so shitty when you leave. Your feelings didn't come into it. I'm pleased to say that things have moved on and my DCs experience was completely different but yes, their generation does seem to be far less resilient, but maybe they are just more vocal which can only be good.

[NotHardUpNow]

I think it is just far more visible now. Growing up the only people I knew with mental health issues were in my own family. I can only recall one friend with MH issues and hearing of one suicide at uni. Looking at my DC's generation I know four who have been hospitalised including one that led to suicide. These are the e

[TeenAndTween]

Social media - people present themselves in one light and believe the propaganda of others
More pressure to succeed - you can't walk in to jobs as easily now as in the old days
Social media - easy to find people to reinforce an unbalanced view on life
Social media - too much time online, not enough time out and about properly living
Parenting - the over-praise culture where everything is wonderful even when it isn't - see how awful singers on x factor never seem to have been told by their nearest and dearest that they can't sing. So when they hit the real world they can't cope.
General culture shift - stiff upper lip has gone in favour of over sharing woes. Sometimes that can be great, but other times makes people focus on the negatives instead of getting on with things
Social media / Internet - easy to find out about anorexia, self harm etc etc, and to feel it is 'right'

[BillSykesDog]

When I was growing up in the 80s depression in children just wasn't a thing. And even doctors who did recognise it were reluctant to do so for fear of stigmatising children. I certainly had and displayed mental and physical signs which were related to doctors but was never given a diagnosis.

I think it's mainly an increase in diagnosis. But I do think that other factors come in to play, like an increase in social media, too many exams, reduced time with parents who work and more time in childcare for starters.

[magimedi]

VeryPunny - That cartoon is amazing & so very true.

[Grumpyoldblonde]

Another thing to possibly consider, it's widely documented that divorce can have a traumatic or at least very unsettling affect on children, when I was at school I think there was one child I was aware of whose parents had split, I am near 50. My daughter has 2 friends whose parents are still together out of her entire friendship group, so that is potentially a lot of unhappy children. (Not for a minute saying that divorce is wrong, course not but some people do handle it very badly)
Also, you only have to read a handful of posts on Mumsnet to know there are a lot of people suffering from depression, anxiety, and a range of conditions that affect their mental health. Young people and children have their own problems just like adults, we worry over work, money, marriages, kids have worries of their own.
I think in many ways parenting has got better than the 70's attitude I knew where adults always came first and kids weren't really seen as 'people' although obviously there have been wonderful and terrible parents down the ages. I remember trying to tell a parent about something that had happened to me and the immediate reaction before I had finished my sentence was 'nothing ever happened to you' so I shut up, whereas my daughter would be listened to and the situation dealt with as best I could.

[VeryPunny]

This thread made me think of this cartoon

I think there's a lot more pressure to have a "perfect" live - house, family, car, looks etc rather than focusing on what makes you happy, and then having the confidence to say "fuck it" to whatever everyone else wants, and in some ways, less tolerance of not having what is the "perfect" house, car etc - more pressure to conform.

ANd I think there's a lot of co psychology talked up in every day life - trying to find Meaning, and Reasons, and a Schtick to live your life by, when sometimes life is just a bit dull and uninspiring - the school run, yet again, pasta for tea - and that's okay.

[Bruce02]

I left secondary education in 1998. One of my brothers friends committed suicide while we were at school at, 7 people that I went to school with that I am aware of have committed suicide since.

Looking back its clear these people had mental health problems at the time. However it was just swept under the carpet at the time. Out bursts met with horror by students and staff then we tried to avoid them. As an adult I am more aware and can recognise it as a mental health issue.

My dd is 12 and far more aware of mental health problems than I was at that age. She raised a concern at school about a friend, with the pastoral staff. She was right and the girl got some help. The girls parents were thankful as they had missed the signs themselves.

So I think it's less stigma, that people in general are more aware of mental health and the signs there is a problem.

But I manage quite a few people in their early twenties and a lot of them struggle to work because they don't understand what's expected of them. Some really do expect someone else to do almost all their role for them or at least with them. Some get very stressed within months of working when they realise there isn't the safety net of parents.

We have had parents turn up when we have refused to grant short notice annual leave, issued lateness records etc. Trying to explain how their child must have the annual leave or allowed to be late.

I don't think this accounts for the rise in mental health issues but I don't think it helps anyone.

[Areyoufree]

I agree with Grumpyoldblonde. I was talking about how attitudes have changed just the other day. I remember in the village we grew up in, there was a young girl whose father drank heavily. Everyone knew he hit her, but no-one ever did anything. It was just accepted, although we were told not to go and play there. Same with pedophiles. You knew there were men that you should stay away from, but it wasn't seen as such a big deal. Stuff was just swept under the carpet. Speaking personally, I attempted suicide at the age of 12, but nothing was ever done about it. Professionals didn't really know what to do, so they just patted me on the head and sent me home. I think there is more support for teens now.