5 mins late for medical appointment and reaction of HCP

[BooeyBubbleHead]

I am 34 weeks pregnant. Due to an unforeseen traffic diversion followed by a slow moving farm vehicle on a winding road, I arrived 5 minutes late for a medical appointment today. I had left enough time to have been 10 mins early, should it have been a standard journey. I think being on time is important and I would never intend to keep anyone waiting. I was unable to phone ahead as I was driving and do not have hands free, and safe places to stop are few on this route.

This is a very regular appointment and I have never been seen on time - I have always had to wait at least 10 mins after appt time, and sometimes up to 30 minutes. I accept and understand having to wait and have never made it an issue or taken it out on staff; the sheer volume of patients mean that it is inevitable and nobody's fault.

Today, HCP was incredibly offhand with me, and even implied that I was lying when I apologised (sincerely) and explained why I was late. The appointment was rushed and very unpleasant and I felt that I was being punished. There was much passive aggression and hostile body language. I did state that I was offended by her tone but this just made her more argumentative - she needed to have the last word. I arrived feeling stressed and left feeling even more so.

AIBU to expect the same empathy and understanding when running very slightly late, that I give regularly when kept waiting?

Really annoyed and considering making a complaint...

[minifingerz]

YABU

Their time will always be more important than yours.

They can't help it when they're late, but you have no excuse, even when you have a good excuse, it doesn't count.

[ hmm]

[Tigerpaws57]

First world problems. What a load of arrogant, entitled people on this thread.

[psychicliv]

disappointing you were made to feel like this - can't have had a good effect on your blood pressure for example - and if there were people waiting perhaps she should have seen the next one first rather than waited for five minutes and seen you after? what if you had been longer than 5 mins late?

[Stopyourhavering]

Just wait till NHS collapses and we all have to pay for appointments....

[OhTheRoses]

The 8.30 business was a hospital apt. People who arrived after me were through before me. One stop breast clinic. I arrived at 8.20 and left at ...........3.15! Spent approx 40 mins of that with the Dr, mammo, ultrasound. It was disorganised and staff were less than courteous. As soon as I got to the ladies waiting room - clothes in a plastic bag, hospital gown on. That was at 10am. Nurses went for lunch we heard it being organised. The patients couldn't so much as get a cup of tea, they had to wait semi clothed and disempowered. Not so much as a cup of tea between 8.20 and 3.20. Kingston Hospital, 2014.

[gillybeanz]

YANBU
If the HCP was PA with you.
I am like you and hate being late, I see it as such a weakness and leave so much time for contingencies I drive people mad.
We are all human, there has been a couple of times I've been late for things and the one medical appointment they were brilliant and put me at ease.
It was a similar thing to OP, completely unforeseen.
It's their job to put you at ease, bedside manner init?

[BooeyBubbleHead]

In response to PP, journey is 30 minutes. Usually very straightforward as it's a straight dual carriageway, which isn't busy. Parking has never been a problem before today either. It is a regular journey so I am confident that if I give myself 45 minutes, I can be in the building 10 mins before appt time. Usually I get a coffee and sit quite happily catching up on emails until I'm called in, and then go cheerfully into my appt, no matter how long I have waited. I genuinely don't mind waiting - that's not the issue in itself.

[slenderisthenight]

Just wait till NHS collapses and we all have to pay for appointments....

I would be delighted to pay to see my GP if it meant I got a service that was anywhere near prompt, thorough and pleasant as my dog gets at the vet's.

[jacks11]

Oh the roses

I agree the HCP in the OPs case was unnecessarily rude and not very professional, which I said in my reply to the OP. I recognise patients can be unavoidably delayed, and if they call to let us know I will slot them in if I can. However, if I see everyone who runs late then it would become unmanageable.

I have not implied patients don't have commitments or responsibilities. I have not said patients are ghastly or always in the wrong. I work hard to give my patients the best care, and sometimes giving them that takes more time and as a consequence I run late. I think most of my patients recognise that and are pretty understanding if I am running late. However, even though I sometimes run late (which I know is inconvenient for patients) I cannot always accommodate patients who arrive late if I am to get through my workload. It's not that I don't understand that patient's will often have reasons for running late or that I believe my time to be more important than theirs. I certainly don't think they are ghastly and don't believe I have ever implied that I do.

The situation you experienced was unacceptable- the cancellation of the whole clinic may or may not have been unavoidable, but you absolutely should have told that your appointment was cancelled. YANBU to be annoyed about that.

[bikerlou]

It's a tricky one. I work in the NHS - not maternity - and I do back to back 20 minute appointments all day, just a couple of people late can destroy my day and the whole clinic can go to hell.
I have been known to sit in my room weeping on such a day, especially if I get a couple of emergencies as well.
However, I think I would be reluctant to examine a pregnant woman in such an unpleasant and unprofessional way. If it was me I would take a few deep breaths in my room and decide if I am able to see them or not depending on how late they are - if not I will apologise in a kind way and rebook them and if I will see them I will keep my composure and behave in a professional manner.

[metaphoricus]

We are all, in this country, very, VERY, lucky to have the NHS to look after us when we are ill. I have a DD with many quite serious health problems, and I've often had to wait, along with others, with similar quite serious health problems. I've waited for an hour or more, without complaint.
You complain because you have to wait 10 - 30 mins? I am gobsmacked!
And you are simply 35 weeks pregnant! Which is not an illness. Unless I've missed something. You sound to me as if you think you are very entitled to special care above and beyond others. I think you are being
very unreasonable. In fact, think MN should give you a crown for being the most unreasonable person ever.

[LineyReborn]

I really don't like rudeness. It's a kind of control thing, to me.

If you've apologised for 5 min lateness, and been early for every previous appointment, then I think rudeness on the part of a health worker is very poor form. It's the behaviour of the person I'm least likely to trust, as it's rather futile and, frankly, a tad unintelligent.

I'm not rude at work. There's no need for it.

[backwardpossom]

Bloody hell, some really entitled, shitty attitudes on this thread.

Not the OP's, I should add. She should have been professional, OP, so YANBU.

[Aderyn2016]

I don't think it's fair to say that HCP can run late and that is entirely different from a patient running late. Because it's not like any of us have important things going on in our lives that might occasionally make us overrun
HCP usually run late. We accept this with good grace because we know it is because they are taking care of people and that cannot be timed to the minute. Likewise, if a patient is delayed for a genuine reason and is apologetic, the HCP should also accept that with good grace.

OP, I would write a letter of complaint. She was a total bitch unprofessional and pg women and sick people should be cared for by people who can conduct themselves appropriately. If that happens again, you should end the appointment and tell her that you will reschedule with somebody who behaves like the professional they profess to be.

[Clickncollect]

I was waiting for my appointment in an NHS fertility clinic (early) and the receptionist said they were running a little late today. No problem I said. I then heard a nurse calling for Lady A who wasn't in the waiting room. No more than two minutes later, Lady A came running in looking very distressed and apologising profusely. They refused to see her as apparently she was 10 minutes late and they certainly didn't tell her they'd only tried to call for her 2 minutes prior. She was upset and crying asking if she could please just have the results of her blood test. They refused and made her rebook with next available appointment for 4 weeks time.
I still feel bad about that and wonder if I should have stepped in but I wasn't in a good head place myself. I certainly made sure I was never late for any of my fertility clinic appointments!

[OhTheRoses]

I agree with slenderisthenight. Indeed, we have spent £7k on ds's healthcare in the last two years. GP refused to send her for more than routine bloods at one point and I said fine, refer privately then. DD has a serious medical condition for which she,will require drugs for the rest of her life and which may have reached crisis proportions.

I am not grateful for the NHS. It I free at the point of service. My family has received nothing more than it should have and often less.

Much prefer the vet tbh. At least the vet shows an interest all of the time rather than some of it and the vet buses are lovely and pleased to see us.

[lasttimeround]

You're late = you're late. Not great if someone's churlish about it but you just have to take it on the chin.

[Tomhardysmistress]

I can't believe the responses you have had!

You were a matter of five minutes late! It was a one off and you explained and apologised for being late! Things like this happen that are out of our control. You left for the appointment allowing yourself plenty of time to get there early. Would she rather you break the speed limit and risk your life getting there on time to make up for the unforeseen hold ups? There was absolutely no excuse for her to be offhand with you regardless of her appointments being slightly out of sync. She is meant to be a professional!

[BooeyBubbleHead]

Metaphoricus. I have said repeatedly that I don't mind waiting. My appointment is a regular hospital appointment and not linked directly to my pregnancy (although my pregnancy is relevant as I was extremely stressed on arrival and perhaps should have been treated with a little more calm consideration). I get to the hospital early and make myself comfortable - I am happy to wait as long as it takes, it's nobody's fault.

However, I do not expect to be treated with such a lack of respect, care or decency when I arrive 5 minutes late with a very valid reason. That was the premise of my AIBU - not the having to wait!!!

You ABU for not reading my posts.

[LineyReborn]

Why should we all accept rudeness these days? It's horrible.

[BalloonSlayer]

A friend of mine was very sweet and sensitive, would never upset anyone for the world. But I have with my own eyes her react in an extreme physical way at what one might call minor stress or embarrassment. However you would not be able to guess that if you didn't know as she was lively and confident, and did not seem shy at all.

At her first pregnancy booking in appointment she made a lighthearted comment that she hadn't expected to be called in on time, as she had heard you had to wait ages. The midwife boomed in outrage that they never kept patients waiting. My friend felt terrible, was really upset and embarrassed. She was only making conversation.

The midwife took her blood pressure. It was sky high. She was about 8 weeks pregnant, super fit and about 8 stone. She was immediately signed off work and confined to bed rest. She had Doctors visit her at home and her BP was OK but whenever she had to go to the surgery it rocketed and she was back to square one. It was clearly because of the impact the woman had had on her. She spent the entire pregnancy signed off work. This was quite a few years ago BTW, don't know if they would do this now.

For the second pregnancy she had a BP measuring thing at home and managed to persuade the Doctors to let her take her own blood pressure, She managed to stay working throughout that one. But again, if she went to the surgery - whoosh!

The NHS money that was wasted because someone just had to tell her what's what and put her in her place! Obviously the midwife couldn't tell that someone would have such an extreme reaction, but they must be aware that some people do.

[jacks11]

Aderyn

It is different though- the reasons for being late may be equally valid for both the patient and the HCP. However, I am not seeing only one patient in the way that you have one appointment. Therefore the effect is different and so the situation is different.

A patient may only be 5 minutes late (and with good reason) but if a number of patients are running late, then the whole thing will snowball. If I have to run late for clinical reasons, then it is different again- because whilst it may have unavoidable for you to run late, if I run even 2-3 minutes late with every patient my morning clinic I will run between 35-55 minutes late by the end of the clinic.

Of course, if someone is running late and they can be accommodated then they should be. If they apologise for being late, then that should be the end of the matter.

[CatchingBabies]

Lemon - you do know that just because it's the first appointment of the day it doesn't mean that they have just started work don't you? Most doctors do home visits / hospital rounds before the surgery starts so they may well be running late from previous patients.

[Imnotbeverley]

Christ, there are some truly horrible responses on here! I wonder why all of the people who think so little of the NHS continue to use it? If it is because they cannot afford private healthcare then perhaps they should consider being appreciative that they have the option of free healthcare to access.

No it isn't perfect. What do you expect with austerity? There aren't enough doctors/nurses/midwives. Everywhere is overstretched. Clinics are overbooked. You will have to wait for your free service, it's a small price to pay IMO.

The poster who thinks she is somehow punishing her GP by walking out if she has to wait more than 20 mins is hilarious if a little (lot) small minded and insane.

Apologies OP- YANBU. Lateness is frustrating, (as many people have given examples of) but not an excuse for hostility.

[maddening]

If Al the Drs are running 30 mins late then being 5 mins late shouldn't impact anyone as you'd still have 25 mins to wait!