To have a wry smile as "karma" bites DH on the arse?

[QueenofLouisiana]

DH has been in a foul mood since he got out of bed. He has sneezed once a cold. The house is cold as the boiler has broken, so he's been huffing and puffing since 7.30.

This morning he used up the last of the loo roll in the bathroom and (not unreasonably) wanted to get dressed before he replaced it. DDog started fussing at him, she got told to bog off. In the meantime DS goes to the loo. DH rants and raves at him about not looking before he used the loo.

Turns out DDog is fussing as she needs to go into the garden. While he's ranting at DS, she's had an accident in the kitchen. Which he now needs to clear up. If he hadn't spent 5 minutes whinging at DS about loo roll he'd have got DDog out in time.

I doubt he'll see the link, but it has made me smile. I'm planning on taking DS and DDog out for the day, I think we all need some space.

[Bitofacow]

Well let's hope the non binary being known as Karma does not bite anyone on the arse.

I would like to thank everyone for the journey we have been on today. It's been emotional, I've laughed, I've cried, I've peed. I now need to go and check on my toilet rolls and let the dog I don't have out.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Did DH put loo seat down afterwards?

[Bitofacow]

Lweji

Absolute classic.

Now where is my toilet paper, I've made another mess

[Lweji]

What I want to know is

who let the dogs out

in the end.

Woof, woof.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

I would like to point out that not only do I replace all of the toilet rolls in our house, but I am completely self-taught!

(Swells with pride)

(I have offered to lead workshops for the rest of the family, but sadly the offer has not been taken up)

[HoneyDragon]

Actually I reckon this is a reverse and op is the dog.

[HoneyDragon]

But what if the non binary Karma formerly known as dog didn't wish to go out when the op did?

What if it had and then came in and needed the toilet?

I love it when the op doesn't come back and the AIBU turns into who can come up with the most contrary made up scenario to blame the op for anything.

Op. If you were better organised about toilet roll the boiler wouldn't have broke.

[Pettywoman]

OP, have you thought about booking a spa day perhaps?

[JohnCheese]

We still haven't had a detailed map and timeline of events OP, with of course an anatomical measurement of your arms, eyes at the back of your head and those antennae for trouble. Sheesh. C'mon, hurry up, what else do you have to do today.

DDog is taking care of the boiler, DH is doing the major job of putting loo roll in the toilet (after he has a man-meeting about it and a plan of action going forward to save the world. I hope you took the minutes).

I believe no judgment can be made until you furnish us with the facts.

I feel for DDog in all of this. I hope he's not feeling responsible for the absolute mayhem this morning. What with the cats moving in locally forcing him to vote for Brexit, and the retirement and moving etc etc. The stress of it all for him. Oh yes, I see he has his non binary being therapy on the NHS, phew. He should be ok.

[prettybird]

I thought all households had a loo-roll replacing fairy?!

at least that's what dh and ds seem to think

[Bitofacow]

Amanda Good grief woman, Karma is the name of the non binary being once know as ddog.

Ddog can't get a job because all the bearded cats and the packs of ravaging toilet roles.

Of course Karma doesn't work.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Yvaine

[Amandahugandkisses]

This isn't karma. It's not how karma works.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Lweji you forgot twat. BINGO: DENIED

No
LTB was leave twat bitch.

Oh - quick thinking Lweji.

Kudos!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Look its clearly the OP's fault. If she had ensured there were sufficient loo rolls in stock at all times then the DDog could have used the loo and the kitchen incident would never have happened.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Oooh - on to "cheque cancelling"

Has anyone suggested they are on glue yet?

If not - bagsie glue comment!

[Pettywoman]

OP, you've not replaced the bog roll in my ensuite either and there's still a load to be emptied out of my washing machine. Hop to it you lazy cow!

[2kids2dogsnosense]

It was you who was responsible for Third World debt and the holocaust too, wasn't it

And probably for Lesley getting kicked out of "Strictly" too.

Bitch!

[peggyundercrackers]

why didn't you let the dog out when you went out with the washing?

how did you know what your DH was doing when you went out with a 2nd load? or was that because you were fixing the boiler and putting the washing out and in the loft at the same time? do you have go-go-gadget arms and legs?

[BusterGonad]

If the OP fails to address the dog as DDog it pisses everywhere!

[daisychain01]

Sorry but I can't get past calling your dog DDog

The acronym is to shorten the word, eg DH DS etc, not lengthen it.

But maybe you want to show (in MN hierarchy) that dogs are up there with humans!

Great thread anyway x

[BusterGonad]

Yvaine Corgis have a natural disposition to plumbing work. I don't know why they just tend to be good at it!

[YvaineStormhold]

A well-socialised dog, that has been properly trained should be able to change loo rolls.

I only picked mine up from the rescue last Wednesday and it's now a qualified plumber. Corgi-registered.

(Bdum tish)

[FerretFred]

The dog is looking at the pee puddle and thinking 'fuck, I don't remember doing that. No wonder I can never find my buried bones.....'.

[Astro55]

So now the DH has woman all pissing themselves at his predicament - I sugget he needs more loo roll for the clean up!