School lost DS' phone

[ICancelledTheCheque]

I could use some perspective on how to handle this please.

Background - blended family, DHs children live with us. They aren't keen on sleeping over at their mums but they do it once a week. We gave them both our old phones when our contracts were up so they could stay in touch with us. They're 10, in Y6.

That means that once a week they have to take their phones into school. School have a rule that they have to be handed in to the office in the morning and collected in the afternoon.

However SDS phone has gone missing and wasn't there to collect on Friday afternoon.

The school basically just require the kids to place them in a drawer and it's transpired that they don't supervise them collecting the phones at the end of the day so anyone could take anyone's phone.

I can't help but think that if the school want to impose a rule that the children can't look after their own property, they should take reasonable steps to look after the phones on behalf of the kids! I feel that they've been negligent in allowing it to be lost or stolen.

The phone is worth £120. Should the school pay for it or do we just accept it's one of those things and suck it up?

[Trifleorbust]

Schbittery: I completely understand why YOU want your child to have a phone in school, but this doesn't mean it is unreasonable of the school to say this is done at your own risk.

[ChocolateWombat]

I would raise the issue by email with the Head - not aggressively, but politely, expecting them to do something about it to locate the phone - it was in their possession, so is up to them to have it to return.

Simply email the facts - that as per school policy the phone was handed in. On going to collect it wasn't there. You would like to know when the school will be able to get the phone back to you.

I would them wait for a reply.

[SoupDragon]

Doesn't putting the phone in lost mode show the location? I thought it said "put this phone in lost mode to see the location" or something like that.

[ChocolateWombat]

And I wouldn't be going to the Police until you have had contact with the school about it....might be tricky with it now being half term.....but email the Head direct and I expect you'll get a reply.

I would check the school policy on this too.

As a school, they need to either NOT take responsibility for items such as phones (which is a reasonable policy) OR take responsibility in a way that works. By insisting the phones we given in, they are then taking responsibility and it is up to them to run a system that keeps the items safe for the owner. It looks like they haven't done this and are now coming unstuck.

If I was the school, I wouldn't take responsibility.....because it is so hard to ensure these items are looked after safely and I wouldn't want that responsibility. However, given that the school had this approach it will be incumbent upon them to sort out the situation, I suspect their policy will them change.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I'd like to think theyd offer to pay half.

If that happened, I'd sincerely hope the school changed their policy so that no-one is allowed to bring in a phone under any circumstances. I can't imagine how upsetting it would be for an office assistant to have to cough up £60 because someone else made the decision to steal a phone.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Still interested to know what foolproof system people would propose that would ensure 100% safety for every mobile phone a child brings in.

[Notso]

All those criticising them having phones or the cost of the phones, I take it you don't have a year 7+ child yet? They all have phones and many have much more expensive ones than £120. It is actually quite hard to buy a "basic" phone these days and makes your child a laughing stock.

Not my experience. DD is 16 and didn't get a phone that cost over £100 until year 9, she wasn't the only one without one. DS1 is in year 8 and still doesn't have a phone, he could have one if he wanted I've just sold an iPhone which I offered him first but he just isn't bothered.

There were however many problems when DS1 was at primary of children who had phones using them inappropriately etc. School have to send out endless letters about how parents needed to be responsible for this kind of stuff and that school didn't think primary children aged 11 needed smartphones.
Comments like yours just perpetuate the myths that children need this kind of stuff and from earlier and earlier ages. It puts needless pressure on parents to buy it. A child who mocks another for not having the 'right' stuff is plain nasty. I'd rather focus on getting my children to be kind and to stand up to this sort of crap than give them stuff just to fit in.

[BoffinMum]

The school should have a sign in/sign out system. Now payphones are so few and few between many kids realistically need to use phones and bring them into school for good reason. The school, if it is going to take the phones away, needs to be more responsible for looking after them.

[schbittery]

sooty really?, tryng to pick holes? nothing more constructive to add? How my son and I choose to use technology is not the issue here but just so you knw for future reference, He whatsapps by preference because it's free and doesn't use his data allowance. Then he would email for the same reason on WiFi, plus he often sends me letters from the school that need signing or directions theyve given him to whichever sports match he needs to be picked up from. Often sends me photos as well, also free. Sometimes sends me photos of the trains station board so I can help him work out the best delayed train to go for. I also receive emails better in the heavily shielded building I work in as they come through over WiFi and I have patchy 4G signal to receive text messgaes. Text is last resort for most people these days.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Our school has a ban on mobile phones being in possession, even for staff and parents. If the head sees it, it will get locked in a locker and adults certainly will be given the key (a number of small lockers are available for visitors etc).

Staff have their own named lockers.

I can well believe, certainly with old friends of the dc, that some children would need to bring a phone into school as in the case of separated parents, one would drop off and the other would pick up. The school office would even store their overnight bag instead of the dc leaving it in the cloakroom. Any valuables would be locked in either a locker and the secretary/class teacher would keep the key or locked in a cupboard in the secretary's office prior to locker availability. The parent would come in and fetch the bag/valuables just before collecting the dc.

Of course, we are a small school and all staff know all pupils. I accept this might not be the same in larger schools.

So; given that the dc followed the rules as written (as far as is known) and there is no evidence to suggest otherwise, then yanbu and the school should be held responsible for losing the phone.

Whether they can or should pay for a replacement has to be agreed between yourselves, morally. Yes. Can they afford it, probably not.

Going forward they either need to assume responsibility and sign them in and out with a member of staff present, or not look after them and the individual assumes all liability for damage or loss.

[ilovesooty]

schbittery many thanks for taking such trouble to put me in the picture with your detailed explanation

[Jaxhog]

Surely if the school insists on confiscating phones, they are responsible for the safety of said phones?

[schbittery]

They don't need smartphones until theyre in secondary school. Dont out words into my mouth and don't try and tell.me about technology, lntelnet safety or safeguarding children, I work in that area and know all the issues, myths, risks, strategies and, sadly, have seen many of the photos. What I said was that smart parents, like the OP, might wish to gently introduce phone usage in year 6 ONLY, because research and my own experience shows that gradual introduction BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY NEED A PHONE leads to safer usage in secondary school.

Andy if anyone thinks they don't need a phone in secondary school or won't have access to one then they are foolish dinosaurs burying their heads in the sand. Whether we, as adults approve, agree, want them to have them or not, the genie is well and truly out of the bottle for this generation of kids and trying to ensure safe usage is the key, not how much the phone cost (also lolling at £120 being an expensive one, kids in my son's class have iPhone 7s)

[Meadows76]

It doesn't matter if (in your opinion) they need a phone or not. The fact is they had one, gave it to school when told and subsequently it has been lost or stolen. That is the issue. Not anyone's personal feelings on when a kid should be allowed a phone. Why is that SO difficult to understand?

[SuburbanRhonda]

He whatsapps by preference because it's free and doesn't use his data allowance.

Unless he's in a free wifi zone he will need to use 3G or 4G for Whatsapp and of course that uses data from his allowance.

[Pseudonym99]

If the school requires children to hand property in, then the school is required to accept responsibility for those items. The school cannot have it both ways.

[manhowdy]

School's fault - they should pay. I'd do what ChocolateWombat says to begin with. Hopefully it will suddenly turn up.

And (not that it matters) £120 is cheap for a phone. Most phones nowadays retail at £600. What the hell is this £9 phone referred to earlier in the thread? Is it two polystyrene cups and some string?

[CauliflowerSqueeze]

The school should change its policy to say that nobody is allowed a phone under any circumstances and to ask parents to immediately come and collect any found. That will resolve the issue of safeguarding the phones.

[sashh]

If it were my future DC I would be telling the school that my DC would be looking after their own phones, and if they had an issue with that then they better replace the phone they lost, and improve their system.

As long as you are happy for another child to film them changing for PE and posting online, then good for you.

[Kennington]

The school is there is educate children. Not muck about with phones. How is this an issue?
It isn't the schools responsibility to look after phones.
This is all going bonkers.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

I think as soon as you take responsibility to look after an item, whether it be a phone or something else, you have a duty to take reasonable care to ensure it is returned to its owner in the same state it was received in.

To my mind it doesn't matter if the person holding the item is a school, a friend or anyone else. If you agree to look after something you do just that. Otherwise you don't agree to do it.

I think the school have left themselves wide open on this one. If they are going to assume responsibility for people's property they need to have processes to ensure the safety and security of that property.

The school are liable for the loss.

[schbittery]

Unless he's in a free wifi zone he will need to use 3G or 4G for Whatsapp and of course that uses data from his allowance

Rhonda - do you really, REALLY, think that I don't know that? Given that I posted that I work in the field of technology and promoting safer technology usage for children.

He uses the school wifi if on-site or his friends unlimited data hotspot from his phone if on the coach. Otherwise he uses The cloud at the station or the free wi-fi at Costa. Its remarkable really, after an initial drama with him downloading an app over 4G by mistake and using up all his data allowance he's got it down to almost nothing using other people's wifi :). Another learning experience.

Sorry to be so forthright on this thread but some of the attitudes displayed here just frustrate me do much. They come from a good place of course, young kids should be outside playing not glued to screens. But as they get older you have to face reality. You could get away with the "I'm considerably more Luddite than you" approach 10 years ago, maybe even when a 16 year old started school, but 11 year olds now have been surrounded by iPads and phones and the internet since birth. We gave them this technology and need to teach them how to use it safely, not just walk away and say well.my kid won't get involved with it. Deluded. It does them no favours imo to say you'll have a basic £10 phone (do they even exist anymore?) as these are the kids that will be borrowing friends devices and getting into trouble as they're not aware of how to play safely.

Do you all have robust controls set up on all your devices? on the wifi router? what about when they go to friends and family's houses? Do you know what apps theyre downloading? What age rating the film's they watch are? the games? Have you spoken to them about safe usage and what to do if people ask them to send pictures of themselves? About how not everyone on the internet is who they say they are. You maybe able to control all this when they're 7/8/9/10 but you won't be able to when they're teenagers. If the answer to any of those is no then I'd suggest people have better things to do than sniping about how much other people's kids phones cost. Im no parenting expert but I have seen the incredibly disturbing data about children, sex and the internet. Denying it's happening and won't happen to your child is a risky strategy imo.

[clam]

All those saying that the school should pay - this isn't a multinational corporation with bags of money to spare. Any such payout (which I can tell you, is HIGHLY unlikely to happen) would directly impact on the provision made for children elsewhere.

And anyway, there is no evidence that this phone was even put in the drawer in the first place. I'm sorry, but the word of two 10 year old boys, who naturally will be backing each other up, does not constitute proof, I'm afraid.

[lougle]

It's irrelevant though, clam. Justice doesn't work on the basis of how much it hurts to pay what you owe. If they mucked to they mucked up.