AIBU to put a sign on my door to keep OH friends away??!

[MotherDuckSaid]

Hi all,
This is my first AIBU thread
I'm due our 5th baby any day, we live on the edge of town. My husband is a Very social type and loves people to pop in whenever they fancy. I do not share his feelings!
When the baby arrives I want to put a sign in the front door with something like 'please, no visitors, baby feeding/ sleeping'
I don't want to feel like I can't get confortable to feed downstairs without fear of being disturbed ..in those first two weeks I ten to do it topless with the other boob in a jug! (prone to mastitis, excessive milk production)!
AIBU??!

[NicknameUsed]

The sign is a good idea. Could you have a sort of "at home" once you feel up to it rather than have a constant stream of visitors?

[MotherDuckSaid]

Thanks all 😊
My OH isn't resisting the notion of the sign. Hes very good, really
I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a drama queen before I made the sign up 😁
Going to do it, might go wild and leave it there for a month !

[Naicehamshop]

YANBU!!

And tell your dh to step up!

The feelings of his friends are NOT more important than yours!

[coconutpie]

YOU are not the one being rude - they are! And 3 visitors before 11am on a Sunday morning? WTF. Your DH needs to man the fuck up and tell his friends it is no longer convenient to just dropped by unannounced.

[Boolovessulley]

Put the note up.
It's your choice.
Unannounced visitors got on my nerves when dd1 was born.
Turning up unannounced whenever it suited them.

Make sure you tell dh and dcs that nobody is welcome!

[ConvincingLiar]

Go with sleeping rather than feeding, it's clearer that you can't be disturbed.

[MapMyMum]

I put a note up!! We also unplugged the doorbell. I wouldnt care if I was being rude. What's more important, being polite or keeping your newborn and famiky happy? It's only for 2 weeks or so afterall

[MotherDuckSaid]

Manhowdy 😂 loved tht!

[manhowdy]

Constant visitors sounds like my idea of a nightmare at any time, let alone with a newborn.

I'd spray paint FUCK OFF on the door.

YANBU.

[AnnieOnnieMouse]

Put up the sign.

[AgathaMystery]

Go for it. When I worked as a community MW these sorts of signs were not uncommon at all. They are very effective & people totally understand.

[StarryIllusion]

They totally will op. You know it. At 11 years old walking to school with all your mates egging you on, could you have resisted a sign asking people not to knock?

[HuskyLover1]

Oh no, I would HATE surprise visitors. Definitely put up the sign.

"PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB : NEWBORN FEEDING"

[Trulymadlymotherly]

Could you add to the note that they call dh on his mobile to see if it's convenient? Are they close enough friends that you could be honest/tongue in cheek about it? Please ring first to avoid unexpected naked breastfeeding encounters?

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

Who fucking cares if it invites raised eyebrows?!

Seriously if DHs friends are so dense that they don't read it and think 'oh she means me because I wouldn't leave them alone when last baby was born' then so what? DH can explain to his friends that until they're invited, actually no, they're not welcome. Because it's not just one person's decision to make their home an open house, especially when it is the other person expected to host.

[CruCru]

A friend did this and it was very sensible. Do it.

[Matchingbluesocks]

Your house sounds brilliant, I wish my DH were like yours

That said i can totally understand your point and a sign seems a perfectly reasonable way to keep people away for a bit

[notquitegrownup2]

Finitel - depends on your door knocker. Small house, highly effective door knocker - always sounds as if the world is coming to an end when used.

But the OP knows that about her own house. It's not up to us to second guess why she finds the knocker intrusive, rather than her own kids. She does. Should her OP support her or is she being rude. I think she's entitled to two weeks support - at least.

(Our house rules when there was a baby: whoever holds the baby gets to make all of the other rules/choices, until they hand the baby over. They are doing the most important job in the world. They deserve looking after!)

[ChuckBiscuits]

Why not tell your husband to tell his friends that you are having a 6 week hiatus whilst you and the family are bonding and sleeping?

[Trifleorbust]

Don't put up a sign - it comes across as really PA. Tell your husband you don't want visitors for the first two weeks. Ask him to tell any friends who tend to drop round unannounced, then don't answer your door. If he answers your door, he needs to turn them away.

[mamas12]

Put the sign up, laminate it so it can withstand the weather
Write please do not disturb, newborn breastfeeding mother asleep ia m sure you will understand
Then bribe the rest of the children and inform your dh this is for the benefit of you and your family and you as a breastfeeding mother are not a spectating sport!

[WankStainWasher]

How about a sign that just states "Shhh. Baby Sleeping" and then disconnect the door bell and wrap the door knocker in bubble wrap

[pregnantat50]

i think a sign on the door saying 'baby sleeping' is kind of cute, I would certainly understand and not be offended if I went to a friends and saw it on her door (unless she hadnt got a baby )

[MotherDuckSaid]

knock down ginger lol
Thankfully we have a garden separating us from the road

Our house is Victorian , so unfortunately we have one of those solid doors with a ridiculously large old fashioned knocker that resonates throughout the house when used, u can even hear it in the basement with the doors shut! Which is why im thinking even if the baby got used to it, it would certainly wake me

The older three children will be in school, but because OH works from home the 'drop ins' happen all week.

The last thing i want to do is get grumpy at OH when i'm sore and sleep deprived, so thought the note on door would prevent me from losing my shit !

[BoredOnMatLeave]

YADNBU... I gave up breastfeeding after a week due to having constant visitors and needing to just be topless all the time. I wish I had known to just put a sign up but at the time I assumed there was something wrong with my feeding.

Next time I'm doing the old MN no visitors for 2 weeks