To feel bullied

[redchick33]

I'm a assistant at a primary school, I've worked there almost 5 months.

I have had lots of problems with year 6 boys. I seem to be the only member of staff trying to implement rules therefore I am seen as the bad one. Pupils hate me and colleagues laugh because they know we have no control. But hey I'm not there to make friends just to keep everyone safe. The head etc do assemblies but it doesn't register and the staff don't work together.

I regularly get sly and sarcastic comments from these boys, they are basically taking the piss! They have started singing the 'I'm a barbie girl' song when I 'tell them off'. I am always polite and respectful. One of the boys made a complaint about me which was a complete lie. I was accused of calling a special needs child 'a stupid little idiot ' just 2 days after I reported them for treating him as their puppet! Unfortunately I felt accused by the head who had to take it seriously. I've heard nothing since. But feel disappointed that she thought I might actually of said that. Im still not convinced she believes me. I'm also being alienated by another staff member (for no reason) who I think (but can't prove) put the yr6 boy up to making this up. She also tried to paint me badly. She has a child in yr6 which might be why she's protective etc. I can't help feel she has encouraged these yr6's to behave like this. I haven't mentioned anything to anyone because I now have very little faith in the head.

Today the boys crossed a line and bullied my 7yr old! I feel sick. It was made clear to him that it was because of me. I spoke to his teacher and explained that what had happened was because of my recent run ins with yr6. She made the right sounds but I doubt anything will come of it.

The school seriously lacks discipline which is why the pupils show no respect. The pupils play staff off each other and run rings round them. I'm ashamed to feel bullied by these 11yr olds and now my son is because of me. I should do what other staff do stand there, say nothing and go home. Easy life.

How would you expect the school to react to my situation and my 7yr olds situation?

And

What would you do?

[redchick33]

ParForTheCourses Thank you for your advice. It's actually calmed me down a few notches

[redchick33]

Does anyone know if the school can legally tell me the name of the member of staff who complained about me?

I'm 99% sure I know but I'd hate to be wrong. I feel my situation with her should be considered when the head is actually making accusations.

[user1471494124]

This sounds an awful situation. Look at the positive though: by working there, you have seen what a poor school it is first hand and can now remove your child from that environment. You may not have known how bad it was otherwise.

Find another job and get your child out of there too. In my experience (I work in secondary), the head only listens to parents, never staff. It's a tricky situation to be in if you ate both if it is not a nice school.

[redchick33]

I'm very reluctant to move my child so soon after moving there in the first place. That said he does seem very keen to try another school! If they don't deal with matters of bullying satisfactorily how can I happily send him there each day.

I can afford to leave the job. I actually took it on to meet people and feel like I was useful. How wrong was I?! I do enjoy working with the children and most of the staff. I do think the head is lacking in judgement and authority. I'd hate to leave because of one person and it would be difficult to explain to future employers.

[ParForTheCourses]

You're welcome redchick. Glad you are feeling a bit more relaxed.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

"I'd hate to leave because of one person ..."

One person? Which person? You have listed quite a number of people that have contributed to you feeling so upset.

To be clear, it's definitely not a single person that you have run into a problem with. You are complaining about the basic culture of the school. This is not something one, low power (in the school hierarchy) person will ever change.

You don't change culture, you fit in and become part of the specific culture or you don't. And personally, on that situation I'd be out of the door very quickly to find a work / school culture that did fit with my values and work ethic, and one that my son could thrive in.

Finally, I don't get what you are hoping to teach your child or yourself by staying in such a toxic and irreparable culture, except that you maybe fear everywhere and everyone is like this?

My mother refused to let me move schools in spite of awful bullying for years. She decided that IF she moved me and IF the school was also bad at dealing with bullying and IF I was bullied again and IF they didn't deal with it properly ... Then I'd be in exactly the same situation again so there was no point in bothering (!). What that taught me was that I had to stay in awful situations and put up with it when anybody else would have saved themselves from it.

So, my point is, don't do the same as my mother please!

:) good luck

[lostowl]

Make plans to leave with your son. When that's all firmly in place complain to the governors.