Worried about flu vaccination and ds (4)

[Hedgehog80]

All of our dcs need the flu vaccination. Ds1 can't due to egg allergy but the others can. Went along today
Bit of background is that the GP surgery are very strict with vaccinations and push for everything done on schedule and if dcs have ever been upset it's been a case of hold them still and get it done then it's over and they've been fine....
Ds2 decided today he did NOT want the nasal vaccine and as the nurse said he HAD to sniff it up she couldn't do it. We saw a GP who said to do the injection instead ....ds got more distressed. Dh and I said we would just hold him still and get it done (like we have before for dcs if needed) when the nurse piped up that no she wasn't happy vaccinating such a distressed child ??
Surely that happens a lot?
She was insistent and the GP to be fair tried a couple more times but the nurse all the time was saying "no no he's upset don't worry ds2 you can have a sticker we won't do it"???? She them said to us he needed to have a positive experience to know that it didn't happen I replied "actually that just shows him that if she screams and cries long and hard enough we give in? Why was it ok to proceed with other vaccinations and not this?"

They wouldn't do it. Now he's at risk of getting flu and I doubt I'll manage to get him back there after today's fiasco , I feel undermined , we are his parents and he needs the vaccination
I'm worried now if he gets flu that any treatment will be a lot worse than the vaccination would have been?

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

How old I said DS2? Does he have a weakened immune system? Or is it a case that his age determines that he should have it?

It's tricky, whilst I agree that you're his parents and you should have the deciding factor you do not ideally want to push him so hard that he ends up completely fearful of the Drs and ends up getting himself in such a state in the future before you even enter the GPs later in life.

Not really sure what the outcome is really

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

That should read, not sure what the solution is (not outcome )

[Hedgehog80]

Ds2 is 4. He has always had the flu vaccination previously as has a chest problem (misshapen causing reduced lung capacity) and asthma and is generally always run down due to EDS and IBS
He really needed the vaccination as when he gets I'll he gets really ill.
We felt very undermined

[eurochick]

The flu vax is often fairly pointless anyway. I'm pro vax generally but they seem to get the flu one wrong so often that I never bother. I read that the US was withdrawing the nasal spray because it was only 3% effective or something like that.

[Hedgehog80]

It was the fact she said he needs a positive experience basically she's taught him play up and you get your own way
It won't be her with him in hospital though will it or up all night worrying about an ill child :(

[eurochick]

Just seen your update. I can see why you wanted it in those circs.

[Hedgehog80]

They told us the nasal spray was MORE effective so much so they wouldn't allow dd1 to have it as she's on steroids and they said it could make her ill

[dementedpixie]

You don't need to sniff the Nasal one as it is puffed up into the nostril. You just need to breathe normally.

[Hedgehog80]

She had the injection instead. It's enough of a worry that ds1 should have it but can't due to egg allergy

[Hedgehog80]

They were insistent he had to sniff it and as he wasn't compliant they decided on injection but then that didn't happen

[dementedpixie]

The leaflet that comes with it says no need to actively inhale it. Why not reassure him he won't have to do anything and try again

[Hedgehog80]

Great. So they could have just squurted it up!
Going to try lots of role play with toys and 'flu vaccination' and try to offer some kind of reward hopefully he may but I doubt it after today I just can't believe she said what she did

[Lelloteddy]

I wouldn't have tried to inject a child who was being held down either.
The risk of harming the child, or stabbing the adults holding them down, as well as the risk of giving myself a needle stick injury are too high.

I think your anger is focused wrongly.

[Hedgehog80]

Not pinned down just held firmly by parents like we've had to do many times with dcs having a vaccination

[Wildberryprincess]

www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/nasalspray.htm

The nasal spray vaccine appears to be not recommended this flu season, in the US at least.

[Hedgehog80]

I don't think my anger is directed wrongly. The nurse could have explained to us she thought he was too distressed rather than undermining us by loudly repeating he shouldn't have it and she would give a sticker and that he didn't have to have it today which just tells him that in future all he has to do is scream/cry/fuss and we give in ?

[VimFuego101]

My doctors always seem to have parents wrap their arms around the child so that they can't move. I don't think I've ever seen a 4yo or similar age just sit still and submit to the injection. I would have been annoyed too.

[Hedgehog80]

wildberry that's concerning as they gave it to dd2 ....now I'll be worrying about that too as she has type 1 diabetes and various other conditions I hope that she will be adequately protected

[Hedgehog80]

Something that is meant to protect the dcs and go some way to put my mind at rest that at least we don't have to worry too much about flu has just caused even more stress

I absolutely yearn for a boring uneventful easy life. All these things just keep happening I could really do with a break from it. You try to do your best and it never works out!

[honkinghaddock]

Ds always has to held firmly for anything medical. That's the way it is with some children.

[kali110]

I don't that yAbu. I certainly didn't like to have injections as a child, but i had to.
I have to have the flu jab every year too

[Hedgehog80]

When dd2 first got diabetes aged 3 there were many occasions of having to hold her firmly (and hold down on a couple of occasions) what should I have done instead ? Give her a sticker and say she didn't have to have it ?? I just hate being undermined. The GP to be fair seemed willing to try it was the nurse who was very anti

[Hedgehog80]

And ds is clever as soon as she started saying it he knew ! There's no way he will as she put it "have had a positive experience and be willing another day" I can't imagine any 4 year old having that thought process he didn't want it done and needed to be held firmly he's not goi g to wake up tomorrow and say "mummy, I've been thinking, as I had such a positive experience and felt I was listened to and my views respected yesterday when I didn't want the flu vaccination that actually I'm prepared to now have it done"

[AppleMagic]

There is absolutely no way my 4 year old would submit to having an injection voluntarily. Even with serious bribery. I give her a tight cuddle to keep her arms out the way and the nurse does the shots in her leg.

The nurse must have kids who have to be held still for the preschool boosters at 3.

[Lelloteddy]

There is a huge difference in injecting a child who is not distressed but who is being held firmly and a child who, as described by the OP is already distressed and becoming more so.