AIBU to think there is too much pressure and expectations put on infant school children

[BazilGin]

This may be a huge cultural difference that I will never get over. I started primary school at the age of 7. I move to the UK 10 years ago and my August born daughter started reception just after her 4th birthday. This in itself is wrong, but I am honestly shocked at the curriculum the teachers have to follow. She has just started year one and is given spellings every week that the teacher tests on Monday morning. AIBU to think this is too much too soon? She is doing well academically, but said she is sad they are not allowed to play and "in the morning it's literacy and we just have to get on with it". At this age I though they are just learning through play! Clearly not !! I honestly believed that infant school will be more play based, but they were doing lots of writing/ready ng etc even in reception. DD went to a wonderful Montessori preschool and somehow I thought that infant school will be just extension of that, sadly not. I wish the whole system was different. If my circumstances were different, I would home school as it breaks my heart.

I just don't know what to do at the moment. I wouldn't do homeschooling justice, and my dc would miss the social side of school. I'm about to change schools for my youngest dc, as he has SEN, and his current school don't seem to be supportive. I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing. :(

I'm really worried that the govt seem to be experimenting with our children, and by the time they realise they've made a mistake it will be to late for children now in primary school.

DD has just moved up to yr 2 and the workload has really increased.

I have nothing against testing. I don't remember much about infant school, but when was a junior we had tests every week. However, the tests were relevant to our age. I was away at school so parents couldn't help with homework - the homework was set at a manageable level.

The number of teachers leaving the profession speaks volumes.

YANBU, I will never forget my poor little dyslexic dyspraxic 4 year old clutching the pen and making wild shapes, and her ridiculous teacher telling me that if she didnt learn to write immediately she 'would never get a good job when she was older'.
FFS she should have been playing in the sandpit.

It's very hard not to get sucked in when you're surrounded by pushy parents.

I love this thread... I have been thinking how crazy it all is for a whole, but none of the other parents I speak to seem to agree. All to busy pushing, pushing, pushing.

I'm torn between letting the homework slide and keeping up with the pack.

Last year, Y2, we did loads of reading and spellings as that is what DD is interested in. The project work which was taking hours of valuable family time and way too much shouting, tears and tantrums to complete was ditched.

The teacher kept sending notes home demanding that the homework was handed in. We did the minimum required.

Some projects my DD was really interested in... we did more.

The way I see it; if the teacher can't engage the children to want to do the work then how on earth can I?

I work full time. Single parent. DD is dropped off at 7.30am and picked up at 6pm every day. Dinner at 7. Chill time til 8. Where is the time for homework in that day? And why should there need to be at 7?

I have a child who now hates school. Such a shame. I loved it. But it was all so much more relaxed in the 70s.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of a long rambly post... just wanted to pick up a point about phonics.

Some children, mine included, don't understand phonics. It is only one way of learning to read. My DD is very very good at reading but can't do phonics at all. She couldn't sound out a word if you offered her a bag of toffees.

To me this is the problem. Pushing one way of doing things onto every child doesn't work.

Children are being made to feel useless and washed up before they've even got started.

There are different kinds of phonics. NZ uses synthetic phonics, and the results are apparently very good. There isn't lots of pressure on the kids that I'm aware of.

I've heard that the oddities of English spelling makes it worthwhile to start teaching literacy at 4 rather than 7, but I've no idea if this is true.

YANBU. it's a huge reason we left the U.K. DD1 has just started reception and they have nap time here and it's all play based. Miles different to the way we treat our Reception kids in the U.K. and also a year later!

arethere I think that is true where we are too. DS is nearly 7, just started Yr 1. Their aims in maths for the end of the year is that children can count 1-20 and do subtraction/addition within that; an introduction to telling the time; seasons and days of the week. The other parents at the information evening were shocked at how much was expected, my mother raised her eyebrow and asked why he couldn't do that already. They are just learning sounds now (not linked to letters) and will learn to write their letters around Easter, with the aim of reading simple words by the end of yr2.

However, there is no flexibility within the system, it is common for children to be kept down a year on the basis that the teacher doesn't think they would cope with the workload of the year above, even if they pass the year. No allowance is made in exams (all the way up to uni) for dyslexia/dyspraxia etc In the first year of kindergarten, the teacher told me DS belonged in a special school and when she was eventually corrected by the powers that be, she started saying how he would't cope and would have to repeat the first year. We had to agree with the head before he started school that there would be a high possibility of his repeating the first or second year (mixed class) and that we would accept it if they deem it necessary.

Question- does the system recognise that children develop at different rates and that what is right for a September born wouldn't be for an August born? That girls and boys are different and do different things well at this age?
Timely thread-I need a chat with DS teacher today about expectations and homework. He was 4 in June. He's at an independent school and I'm feeling guilty as I wonder if a state school would have been less full on and less pressure. DS school is lovely though in lots of ways and at least does have a good class size of 17.

I just don't know what to do at the moment. I wouldn't do homeschooling justice, and my dc would miss the social side of school.

My friend's homeschooled child has a far better social life than my DCs!

I've been an infant teacher for 38 years. I left full time teaching 5 years ago as all the fun had been sucked out of school for young children. I now do supply and my main aim is to give the children as much of a fun learning day as possible. By the way, they still do learn everything they need to know but through music, art, stories etc.
It is a dire situation and if I had young children now I would seriously consider home schooling them.

I feel bad i cant homeschool sometimes. I'm not sure my homeschooling friends lives are perfect,there is much that is good about school and we would be a v lazy homeschooling family but it does seem the onky way out.

What I want is a school that's more Play based.

I also realise the younger teachers don't know any different. If theyve done their pgce in the last few years and straight into the regime. Schools are losing lots of experienced staff so you are left with those that think all this target driven pushing is the norm. :(

Totally agree OP.

I do agree with PPs in that lots of children like structure and wouldn't want to 'free play' all day, but play based activities for little ones can be set up in a structured way. And lessons should be more gentle, in my opinion. The way they were when I was at school.

Adalove I have , that teacher is dangerous, and should not be teaching. You cannot write off a young child like that, bearly starting education. How is your poor dd, she will do it when she is ready to, not forced.

The schools my kids attend have never been like this.

Ds is year 1. He has homework but finds it fun. Things like puzzles. Obviously there is reading.

He has lots of play in class, he had loads in reception. Only homework in reception was reading. There is no pressure at all.

Dd went to several primaries and they were all the same as ds'.

I'm dreading the time for Dd to start school
My summer-born nephew has just started full time infant school this past week and is so unhappy he turned 4 in the last week of August and started school the second week of September. He's still a baby! At his school, they have to sit and write their name 3 times first thing in the morning - not allowed to leave their seat until they've finished it my nephew has 6 letters in his name and it takes him ages....whereas little Ben and Sam (for example) who are soon turning 5, are finished in a few minutes!
Our school system is terribly flawed

" Adalove I have shock, that teacher is dangerous, and should not be teaching. You cannot write off a young child like that, bearly starting education. How is your poor dd, "

oh she is fine thank you, 17 now and touch typing and spell checking...
I was furious at the time!

We found the first 3 years of school to be a complete nightmare! Ds was a summer born premmie, school was incredibly pushy, used to have to take dh to parent consultations, as the teachers did a demolition job on ds and my parenting (any child who wasn't academically advances got the same) - ds struggled to listen and pay attention at school, somehow I was responsible and should fix it...but funnily enough there were no suggestions how to!
We moved school after infants and the change in approach was incredible - but the wheels started to come off again in Year 6 when the daily lectures the kids received about Sats led to a high level of anxiety and I threatened to home school for the last 3 months.

The system - Sats, league tables and Ofsted and ultimately the Gov instructing this approach is to blame. An increase in Mental Health problems amongst young people will be the fallout - they are not machines!

No you forgot it's all the teachers fault, for not bringing them all up to levels, for not making them all reach targets,etc etc....

Mine is yr 6 now. She is winter born and mature and 'academic' but I think the expectations are too much too soon.

There are a lot of posts in primary on here worrying about child starting at just 4 and are often reassured with reception is playing/just like preschool. Reception has more work than that but still a nice mix of work and play. The real issues start in year 1 when it suddenly is work and no play. I know my DD was shattered starting yr 1 after breezing through reception and she told me the boys kept asking where the toys were.

Some children will be 5 all yr 1, too young for the formal approach. Then phonics test age 5/6, sats age 6/7, sats again 10/11.

My DD is about to sit the 11+. 95% of kids sitting will be 10 some literally 3 weeks ago. The first proper exam I did was at 16, yet 10 year olds are expected to sit 2 1/2 hour exams.

I think extending reception work/play model through infants would be best then start a more formal approach at yr3 age 7.

That's good Adalove, it was the same with the teachers back in the day over 30 years ago, writing children off like me who have dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia. Telling me that I could look at an unskilled job. Well I have a good BA (hons) in Psychology and an Msc and hope to do Clinical Psychology when they kids are a bit older, so there you go. Never ever write a child off!

I agree Dixi the first exams I sat were at 14, and they were my mock GCSEs, its silly, and putting pressure on extremely young children and teachers, and a sense of failure if targets are not achieved, which is then put on teachers and the child.

We're very lucky in that the teachers at DD's school are committed to play based learning for as long as they can get away with. DD2 is in reception and has started with keywords and reading books already but it's kept to a minimum and fortunately she's thriving. It's the other end of primary that's my issue for DD1 - in year 5 the obsession with SATS began and after Christmas this year they won't have a topic, just SATS revision until the tests are complete. They even sit mock exams under exam conditions!
then after all that they have aptitude tests in year 7 so as far as the students are concerned the whole thing is pointless. I wish someone in the government would just come straight out and say that the only reason for SATS tests is to test the school rather than the child.

My children are a bit older, and were bored, bored, bored and disengaged with school before the new SATS and more challenging curriculum came in. As soon as they started to be challenged academically, they rose to the challenge and really love learning. They've achieved so much, DS1 is now at a selective independent in yr 7 and thriving, DD1 hopes to join him next September. Endless learning through play works for some, but not for all. Some children are simply more academic than others, or have different learning styles to others.

The problem isn't with having high expectations for children - some children need the challenge. The problem is that a one size fits all approach doesn't really work with human beings as we're all so different.

I'm not sure what the answer is? A play-based stream and a desk-based stream depending on which best suited a child's learning style? Allowing children to work with classes outside of their age group but matched to their ability? I don't know, it's really hard.

But don't assume all children will do better under a learning through play based approach, some children love to be stretched academically.