To panic about Christmas presents already

[ThatWhiteElephant]

Watching Martin Lewis on This Morning. Christmas makes me shiver, literally I feel ill at the amount of people I buy presents for. Can I ask does anybody just buy for children only, no other family members?

[MiddleAgeMiddleEngland]

DH and I have a strict limit on what we spend, and no tat. The DDs get stuff but a lot of it is useful things they actually need. Otherwise, DH sends a voucher each to some very small relatives and that's it. My sister and I gave up exchanging presents long ago and now put a bit extra in our local food banks. DH's family have a £10 limit for children and nothing for adults although each year they choose a charity to contribute to. My aunt will get a small present but has dementia and won't really know it's Christmas anyway

Christmas shouldn't be a time of stress and nobody should feel they have to buy things for other people they can't afford.

[TeenAndTween]

40!!!!!

You need to cut back. Seriously. 40

[ThatWhiteElephant]

Thanks for all your comments.
Yorkshapudding - I think we have the same family!
Anythewiser - I agree, Christmas is about getting together with family and friends, i would much rather contribute some nice food/drink for a get together.
Breakfast - we had a 'pact' with some, but they went back on it without telling us
Lorelei - it's not so much the money (just a tiny bit) but the amount of people we buy for (40). It takes me ages (full time work, dh rubbish) at planning what to get, shopping, wrapping etc.
Blablabla - I like your idea, chocolate or wine
Sorry I don't know how to tag people.

[RB68]

We do Kids only on my side of the family with occasional token presents for adults if we can - I am talking £5 or less, then there is only Hubs Mum on the other side and generally she likes an M&S voucher and a few bits - so bag of humbugs (kid u not - lol) maybe a nice jumper/cardi or slippers, hotwaterbottle, plats seem to go down well etc

[Blablabla1984]

I used to stress myself so much but the last 3 years we go by the rule:

<br />
Christmas shopping has become so much easier and enjoyable!! :)

[FelixFelix]

We just buy for the kids (my nieces and nephews), then I buy for my parents too. I've even made it better for myself this year by asking if anyone minds doing a £10 limit for the kids (usually £20) which is going to cut a lot of the cost for me.

So that's £30ish each for parents, £10 x 6 for the kids, then just my dd to buy for. I have agreed with DP to not buy each other presents this year either.

[FelixFelix]

We just buy for the kids (my nieces and nephews), then I buy for my parents too. I've even made it better for myself this year by asking if anyone minds doing a £10 limit for the kids (usually £20) which is going to cut a lot of the cost for me.

So that's £30ish each for parents, £10 x 6 for the kids, then just my dd to buy for. I have agreed with DP to not buy each other presents this year either.

[biggles50]

First time ever I've been organised this year. Got a lot of stuff in xmas sales when you can hardly look at anything xmassy as you're so sick of it. Plus got a sealed savings tin from poundland and have shoved in a fiver, dh too, every week. Plus I've bought something small each week for stocking presents for my adult children. Buy something each week from now on. We buy for our adult children, their partners and three relatives. It's very tricky to stop a family tradition but we did with a couple of relatives. Have a budget and after xmas get one of those sealed tins and figure out what must go in. As Martin Lewis says you have all year to think about Christmas. Good luck.

[TathitiPete]

No baby - framed photo of dog/cat/rabbit/goldfish?

Here SIL, here's a nice picture of our dog. Merry Christmas!

• Hello photo printing person, may I have 25 copies of this please?
  
• Ma'am, that's a picture of a guinea pig
  
• And I'd like them gift wrapped, thank you.
  
  That's my Christmas shopping done.

[Lorelei76]

blimey
if it's makiing you feel ill I wonder how much you spend?!

one big family I know does no presents for adults, secret santa for kids, so each child gets 1 gift from rellies apart from parents. Sorted.

no one should be feeling so bad over Xmas, it's a just an externally imposed spendfest, you don't have play the game if you don't want to.

[Ragwort]

I find it so sad that people get so stressed about buying Christmas presents and getting into debt - and this happens every year on Mumsnet & I've been here over 15 years must get a life.

I know it's easy to say but try asking yourself what makes you feel guily about suggesting 'no presents' or a 'secret santa' or just having a set budge? And just because people buy you something doesn't mean you have to buy them something back.

Like many - we could actually spend more on presents than we do but we don't believe that spending money = a happy Christmas. Our DS has always understood that he gets fairly modest presents - and usually do to with this sporting hobby rather than the iPad/ X Box / designer gear that some of his friends seem to get.

[BreakfastAtStephanies]

OP - is there anyone you can have a ' pact ' with ? You don't buy for them or their DC and they don't buy for you and your DC. As a PP has suggested you may be surprised that some people would welcome it.

After years of buying for 11 extra children ( my DC have 8 cousins, plus best friend's 3 DC), my DSis suggested a pact with me a couple of years ago. I suggested the same to my friend when she was complaining that she had no time or money for all the presents she had to buy on her list.

That has cut out 6 children, so down to 5. Don't think I can get it down any further though. As for adults: we only buy for my parents, parents-in-law and BIL who is single, child-free and very generous with his gifts to our DC.

[jaykay34]

We buy for our kids, my nephew, a cousin's child (that I am very close to) and my best friend's child. I usually get my mum and grandparents a photo book, the in-laws get a framed photo and a small token gift. I also buy for my sister and Auntie (who are both childless but spoil my kids all year - so I feel they deserve a nice gift).

That sounds like loads, but I've actually cut down over the years. I don't buy for my friends anymore.

I tend to buy bargains during the year for Christmas, which alleviates much of the pressure nearer the time.

[AnyTheWiser]

It would make me feel sick if someone that could ill-afford it bought me a present.
Christmas is a time to be with those you love - family and/or friends. Gifts aren't a necessity.
Just being able to get together and chat over tea or coffee with people you've not seen for a while is wonderful. Sharing people's news, having time to laugh, no money needs to be involved.

[Jellyshoeshurtmyfeet]

Lunamay I have a family I buy a present for them together and the Thorntons hampers are great. They have different ones half price all through December so you shouldn't have to spend more than 20 quid for a decent one.
We tried to do adults only a couple of years ago and told everyone that but everyone still bought us presents and I felt so bad we went back to the usual way the following year.

[OwlinaTree]

I've got 11 adults and 14 children to buy for, plus my own children and dh! Better get cracking!

[Coldilox]

Ifailed

That was aimed at a PP who said she usually starts shopping in August but has a DC due in August. Sorry I didn't make it clear.

No baby - framed photo of dog/cat/rabbit/goldfish?

[VioletBam]

We only buy for children. It's ridiculous to buy for adults when you have your own kids!

I buy for my Mum and that's that. I wouldn't ever buy for my siblings nor they for me!

MIL doesn't do gifts...I advise you to make them all something in a bloody jar and say that you've decided to get crafty.

[WeAllHaveWings]

We have only bought for children and my mum and dad for at least 15 years. It takes most of the pressure off Xmas. When they are small its great buying toys, when they get bigger its easy as its iTunes, Microsoft points or hard cash. Stop giving presents after their 21st (might give them a bottle after 21 if we see them a lot)

[LunaMay]

Gosh i dont even want to think about Chrstmas, i just havent been able to get ahead with savings this year so its going to be tight! Doesnt help that we dont get paid for the 3 weeks we have off over Christmas and have to wait 2 weeks before the first pay in the new year. So thats Christmas and 5 weeks worth of food/bills i have to find money for.

We usualy only buy any kids that are going to be celebrating with us, my mum buys my cousins children etc but i stopped as it was getting too much. I buy immediate family (mum, sisters, grandparents) and my sisters patrner.
I also have a girl ive looked after on and off for the last 14yrs and she gets treated as my own so i spend on her and i also buy her siblings (6 of them!) and mum, I'm trying to think of something to give them as one 'big' joint gift instead of having to spend so much on individual gifts.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

I buy for all my immediate family. That's 18 people. However the presents are inexpensive, a max of £15, apart from my DSs who get more.

One year when I was very skint I made garlic olive oil in pretty bottles for the cooks. I make quite a lot of my presents. I'm quite arty, which helps. I pick up things in charity shops all year, which helps.

I do worry about the cost and I get a bit frenzed when Christmas is close and I still haven't got everything. But my family are all lovely and I know they won't judge me even if my presents are handmade or second hand.

[HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld]

i buy presents for nobody

[PotatoBread]

Children and grandparents only nowadays. The minute my brother had kids he stopped getting a present of his own from me and I just buy for niece. Siblings without children still get a small present

[Ifailed]

Coldilox
what if you don't have a baby, is it OK just give them the frame?

[maggiethemagpie]

I don't buy separate adult presents for the adults who have children, so in my family I would buy nephews/nieces presents but not my brothers (their dads) nor would they buy for me. But my brother who doesn't have kids would get a present. I also buy for mum/ dad/ stepmum. DH buys for his side, I buy for mine but it's all from both of us. We buy the kids' stockings but not their main presents as they have generous grandparents - I won't get anything from my parents as it all goes to the kids. We then just spend around £50 on each other, it used to be £100 but it's all about the kids these days!