To report dsis/ bil to rspca

[LittleLionMansMummy]

For overfeeding their dog.

I'm not being spiteful, bil has previous 'form' for this. Their last dog had a whole host of health problems associated with being obese and had no quality of life for several years before she finally had to be put to sleep. She just lay there huffing and puffing, barely able to stand. She was never spayed because the vet refused to do the op until she lost enough weight. She never did. Bil fed her sausage rolls, chocolate, crisps, all the human leftovers etc. Dsis told him to stop, he ignored her. I told him to stop. We were all very clear that what he was doing was not kind but killing her - slowly and cruelly. He ignored everyone and even seemed to relish continuing to do it against other people's advice/ concern. He made jokes about it.

So she died. Bil was devastated, went a little bit weird about it (think garden shrine, deep depression, no interest in wife and kids etc). They ended up getting another dog - male, same breed. I saw the dog at the weekend and it's already overweight (a year old) and clearly heading down the same route. Bil has already started sneaking complete junk into his food bowl. So, knowing that he's taken absolutely no notice before and continues to behave exactly the same, even against my sister's wishes, wibu to report them to the rspca?

[mummymeister]

have you thought about talking to the local dog warden? the local council area that they are in will employ one and part of their role is education. you can report your concerns to him/her confidentially. I would also be speaking to a vet.

tbh I don't think anything is going to work. he is overfeeding the dog because he wants to - because he wants to abuse something. far deeper pyscho issues here than a dog and really removing this dog isn't dealing with them. he will just go out and get another one - or a cat, or a hamster or whatever. you can write a confidential note to his gp.

really the answer lies with your sil. she has to stop this in its tracks because no one else is going to be able to .

[mummymeister]

have you thought about talking to the local dog warden? the local council area that they are in will employ one and part of their role is education. you can report your concerns to him/her confidentially. I would also be speaking to a vet.

tbh I don't think anything is going to work. he is overfeeding the dog because he wants to - because he wants to abuse something. far deeper pyscho issues here than a dog and really removing this dog isn't dealing with them. he will just go out and get another one - or a cat, or a hamster or whatever. you can write a confidential note to his gp.

really the answer lies with your sil. she has to stop this in its tracks because no one else is going to be able to .

[Veterinari]

Appetite suppressants are not the answer and won't fix this issue

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I know she should Breakfast but she won't. Their lack of action or intention to make things better is the reason I'm considering doing what I am.

powershower that might be a short term solution if dsis can get a vet to agree to it, thanks. If I were a vet I'd be asking a lot of questions about why the owners aren't doing taking action and therefore need to resort to appetite suppressants. I'm just so angry. I know that lots of people overfeed dogs, but most stop when they're told they're being cruel. They certainly don't continue to do it knowing how much pain and suffering they're causing and in full possession of all the facts. Bil does not have the luxury of claiming ignorance, having killed one dog already.

[MindSweeper]

I'd be stealing it tbh.

I know it sounds extreme but I would.

[powershowerforanhour]

If your SIL can't fix the root problem (BIL) perhaps she could take the dog to the vet and ask about appetite suppressants- Slentrol or Yarvitan, if they're still on the market and slip that to the dog when BIL isn't looking. They are only supposed to be short term aids to weight loss but poss worth doing.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Your sis should stop making threats, and just TAKE the dog to a non local rescue centre.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

She tried that with the last dog. Bil knows it's an empty threat and that she'd never follow through on it.

[confuugled1]

What would happen if dsis gave him an ultimatum - feed and walk the dog properly or it's going to be re-homed?

And then work out some targets and if they're not met - actually go through with getting rid of the dog...

[Shiningexample]

He doesn't love the dog, he loves having absolute control over it

[PregnantAndEngaged]

I really can't understand. If he loves the dog surely feeding it crap that's not good for it isn't a good thing? Have you asked him why he feeds his dog stuff like this?

Do you think he's doing it out of spite or because he wants to give the dog something to eat that he thinks the dog will enjoy and he thinks the dog would prefer sausage rolls/chocolate etc to a bit of chicken?

I can't understand his motivation :/

Sounds awful though, and I would report it. Who knows whether the RSPCA will be able to do anything but I certainly think your conscience will be clear if you do it.

[0pti0na1]

The best way to guarantee the RSPCA will do nothing is to not report it.

[Shiningexample]

I think the dogs and the children are just possessions to him, he sounds sadistic and narcissistic

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

I'd be amazed if the RSPCA did anything . There are dogs being overfed in every street all over the country.

I'd be more interested in BIL. He's obviously unhappy and this dog business is a symptom. Sort out even part of.his distress and the dog will improve. If you could coax him into walking the poor animal it would lift both their spirits.

[TobleroneBoo]

What a selfish man

Regardless of whether the RSPCA will do anything or not, tell him you have reported him or are going to ( even if you dont) to hopefully make him see sense.

[Shiningexample]

So she died. Bil was devastated, went a little bit weird about it (think garden shrine, deep depression, no interest in wife and kids etc). They ended up getting another dog

When it dies he further indulges himself with an elaborate mourning process, then he treats himself to a new dog
Its all about him isn't it, trying to get in the spotlight

[FireSquirrel]

Definitely contact RSPCA, you can do it anonymously via their website if you prefer. Overfeeding a pet to the point of health issues contravenes the animal welfare act so they can certainly look into it and do a home visit. They may or may not be able to take further action depending how bad the situation currently is, but they will offer advice, and even just having the visit and hearing it from a professional might be enough of a shock to make him sit up and think about what he's doing.

[Shiningexample]

Very interesting post Widdlin about how to truly improve doggie life quality😇
this man has no real interest in the well being of the dog, its just a kind of toy to him, a thing to be used for his own gratification

[Shiningexample]

There are many ways that one could anthropomorphically spoil or over indulge a dog, you could buy it outfits take it on outings, let it sleep in your bed with you etc
And yet they chose overfeeding
Kinda like being fat by proxy.... Feed the dog as a substitute for feeding yourself

[LittleLionMansMummy]

I can't say I disagree RiverTam. It makes me cross too.

Widdlin he doesn't know why he does it. It's speculation on my part, purely because I know a bit about psychology. There's a great post above about it being about power and control. I definitely think this plays a huge part. He revelled in the old dog being completely dependent upon him. He's very controlling with the kids too - not what they eat but in other ways. He seems to dislike seeing them have fun with other people, yet does little to interact positively with them.

He's been encouraged to swap the unhealthy food for carrots and they keep a glass of carrots nearby. They just go dry and mouldy because he continues to feed it crap instead.

[RiverTam]

So because BIL has 'issues' and our DSis can't see them, another dog has to be allowed to be slowly fed to death. And heaven knows what effect their relationship is having on their children.

Frankly, I'd remove every dependant from the pair of them. They can wallow in their own dysfunction but I fail to see why innocent children and animals should be dragged down with them.

Sorry, I feel really cross about this.

[WiddlinDiddlin]

For all the reasons already mentioned - I wouldn't bother with the RSPCA at this point.

Even if they would come out, you'll just get his back up, make him defensive and thats NEVER the way to change peoples behaviour.

The way to change peoples behaviour is to work out WHY, and see if you can amend or adapt it.

WHY does he behave this way toward the dog? What need or desire is he fulfilling for himself, by over feeding the dog?

Lets say he feels good, he feels kind and generous by giving the dog titbits and treats.

So there are healthy ways to give dogs lots of treats, my dogs get THOUSANDS of treats a week, seriously, it practically fucking rains dog treats in my house, I have dog treats in my pockets, in the car, in drawers, in cupboards.. all over the place.

However - those dog treats are suitable, liver cake, tiny bits of cheese, tiny bits of sausage, tiny bits of carrot, apple, and liver and garlic 'pills'..

Incredibly high value on the whole, but very low calorie wise, no sugar either.

They also don't get fed a huge amount of food from their bowls and what they do get is raw meat/meaty bones, so theres no sugar and colours and crap there either.

As a result, all my dogs are lean and fit (wish I was!), and they do mini training sessions all through the day so they are happy and motivated and generally obedient.

Is there any way you could encourage them to pamper their pet by feeding a better food, feeding the dogs food as rewards (just use the kibbles as treats), feeding from puzzle toys or chew toys that you fill up with food?

If he absolutely must feed human left overs, ask him to chop them into tiny pieces and scatter across a wide area of grass - then let the dog out to find them with his nose.

This activity is INCREDIBLY mentally satisfying for the dog, calming, relaxing, and they get a huge amount of pleasure out of it (its one of my most used 'tools' in changing dog behaviour where dogs need to calm down and get some 'job satisfaction' without being razzed up).

All these suggestions would meet his need to be generous to the dog, without the dog being harmed, AND if you can suggest and demonstrate these things diplomatically, without getting his back up and pissing him off!

[bluetongue]

Why on earth get a dog with no intention of walking it? Surely that's one of the reason most (responsible) people get one? Get a cat if you want a pet that doesn't need walking and even then they still need love and interaction with people. Makes me so angry.

[JellyBelli]

Tartyflette Contact the local shelters and inform them, the one that homed the dog with her can take it back and refuse to give her any more.

[Tartyflette]

An elderly lady i know is just like this -- she has had four dogs in the last 25 years or so and massively overfed them all, it was horrendous to see and they all died prematurely. Her current dog, her fifth since we have known her, is the most overweight yet. It is the fattest dog I have ever seen , in a lively breed that doesn't usually get fat (border collie). It's a lovely dog, friendly and sweet natured but is about six years old now and unlikely to make it to seven.
After they die she gets the next one from a rescue centre and I have resolved that next time I will phone up the centre and say that this lady is not a fit owner for any dog.
She knows she overfeeds them because she lies about it to vets -I've heard her. She will tell them the dog only gets a small tin of food morning and evening, completely omitting the fact that she also cooks a human-style lunch for the animal each day (chicken, potatoes, peas, gravy). Plus treats.
She also cannot walk the dog any longer and is reliant on friends and neighbours to do it for her. I am considering asking the RSPCA for advice.