does your partner /dh worry about their weight /size ?

[mrsfuzzy]

there is a thread on here today about women and size but what about men ? why is the onus on women to look a certain way [age old i know] but when did men get the go ahead to 'inflict' their various shapes and sizes on us, but for us to angst over every imperfection ? seems unfair imo.

[cupofrooibos]

My OH used to be very overweight (I did too, but not as much) and he's very conscious of his weight and takes lots of positive steps to manage it (lots of gym and sport, eats well). We encourage each other and it helps as we both understand how it feels to be struggling with weight issues. A number of his male friends are similar - previously overweight and now at a much healthier weight - and all openly discuss their progress and feelings about weight. Before I met OH I definitely felt that weight was a 'female' thing but not any more. It's very refreshing.

[TheStoic]

Plenty of men 'watch' their weight, or train to achieve a particular look.

The difference is that for most men (not all, of course), body image is separate to their self-esteem.

Men aren't primarily valued for their appearance the way women are.

[Danglyweed]

Dh does, he's 6 foot with skinny legs but has a largish tummy and moobs. Very self conscious of it. Goes on healthy eating bouts, loses weight then slips up. He'll get there eventually.

[headinthecloud]

My DP is constantly on some diet or another and he isn't a single lb overweight.
His father is overweight and I think as he gets older himself he is worried he'll become overweight like his dad.

[KayTee87]

I think men worry about it just as much as women do but it's not seen as manly to talk about it.

[UntilTheCowsComeHome]

DH really isn't bothered about his weight. He's quite big at the moment and has commented that he could do with watching it but he won't obsess over it at all, he'll just cut back a bit.

His parents are both weight obsessed however. They're constantly on different diets and are both now very skinny after low carbing. Great if they're happy, but the way they go on and on and on about it I can't see that they are.

I think that's why DH and SIL don't give a fuck if they're a bit bigger, they've had enough of weight and diets from their parents.

[Ragwort]

Not particularly he is not over weight, he is very fit and active, does a manual job outside so he doesn't need to 'worry'- he recently went to a reunion with his old sports team (all in their 50s/60s ) and he looked the 'fittest' by miles - I don't worry about my weight either - even though I could do with losing a couple of stones and doing a lot more exercise . I know I should lose weight to be healthier but I do find some women are obsessed with what they 'look' like rather than how healthy their bodies are.

[Sparklesilverglitter]

Yes my DH watches his weight. His dad had a heart attack very young so DH has always been extra cautious with being healthy

[idontlikealdi]

All the men in my friendship group think about their weight and diet.

[AugustRose]

Dh has started to worry about his weight as part of his midlife crisis he's 46.

His weight is actually OK for his height but he has slim arms and legs and a larger middle. He has started running 2/3 times a week but struggles with technique for ab exercise.

[user1471439240]

Surely it is worse for men?
We just need to watch our food intake to have a slim body.
Men have to watch the food and work out for two hours daily to achieve the ripped look so prevalent in Poldark for example.
Hence the explosion in steroid abuse among males.
I think we have it much easier.

[PacificOcean]

DH is tall and slim. He eats sensibly even though he doesn't 'need' to and goes to the gym.

The emphasis is different though - I think most men worry about muscles and not looking weedy whereas women focus more on their weight.

[Sallystyle]

Yep dh does.

He put on a few stone over the last few years and within the last year a lot of that went on his stomach. He is a weight lifter and very big built so he had amazing toned arms and legs with a pot belly.

He hated it and has lost quite a bit of weight now. He is very conscious about his bum, he is very prone to putting weight on his arse and even at his slimmest his bum is bigger than most mens and I often find him inspecting it in the mirror hating on it.

My 17 year old son is built like a whippet but he has inherited the family trait of having a round face and big cheek bones. He worries his face looks fat all the time and there isn't an ounce of fat on him. He also hates his thin arms and legs and feels they make him look 'weedy'

I don't know any men who don't worry about their appearance.

[Rosesanddaffodils]

I am slightly overweight (IMO but slowly shedding the lbs....why does cake taste better than salad?) but my partner couldn't care less. He keeps himself in good shape but he knows that he could let himself go and I would not be bothered.

[SpookyPotato]

OP I think the kind of men who think their beer belllies are sexy are a small proportion and a certain type of person. I don't personally know anyone like this but do see them around.

[ChubbyMummy12]

Yep, DH is 6 foot tall 9 and half stone and is a 28 inch waist, he can't seem to put weight on and he hates being so tiny.

[SpookyPotato]

My DP is definitely conscious of his weight and it stops him doing things, feeling confident... He's very aware of images of fit men everywhere on adverts etc. I guess men just maybe don't discuss it at the lengths women do?

[Fairylea]

Dh does. He's tall and slim but constantly worrying he's getting a belly (he isn't). He's very trendy and fashionable (think rock band style, dark floppy hair, black skinny jeans, band t shirts and leather jackets etc). He is nearing 30 now and starting to panic he is going to suddenly get a huge belly and look ridiculous in the clothes he likes to wear.

I think he is the one in our relationship that worries because I am nearly 8 years older, size 16-18 (was a 12 when we met many years back) and I don't ever think about my weight apart from threads like this. I eat what I like when I like and live an active life and my weight rarely even enters my head. My gran was a size 26 most of her life and died at a very old age having never worried about her weight at all and for the sake of my daughter I try not to ever let her see me having body issues. If I did become morbidly obese however for health reasons I would try to lose weight. Right now I'm very stable.

[maybeshesawomble]

Yes. DH and many of his friends are interested in sport and nutrition. We are in our mid-30s. DH is probably more driven on the nutritional content of food v. calorie intake than I am. We both do a lot of sport and our diet needs to support training and our stressful lifestyles (pressured jobs, two young children) and also be a balanced example to the kids.

[Truckingalong]

Lots of the men I work with go on about dieting and my OH is always on some kind of regime and is very aware of his shape. I really don't think it's a female-only topic.

[ICanHazCakeNow]

"Men" in my social circle...

[ICanHazCakeNow]

My partner and I are both reasonably concerned with our body image, for much the same reasons. And I know quite a few in my social circle who worry about their body image, and the younger ones certainly seem under more pressure from their peer groups.
However, it certainly seems the media (and societal norms) seem to push the idea of an ideal body type on women more than men.

[PepsiPenguin]

twunts who think their beer belly is sexy and that's why they strip off at first ray of sun light, grim times indeed.

Or maybe they just don't care about what other people think, but deep down have insecurities about how they wish they looked like their younger selves if you wrote that about a woman you would be flammed for this.

[ChicRock]

Yes DH keeps a check on his weight and when he's getting to the upper end of what he's comfortable with he increases the exercise and cuts down the wine.

[RaaRaaTheLion]

DP does. He's 6'4 and very slender even though he eats like a horse. If he's ill, you can see weight loss almost instantly. He's very self conscious and would love to be larger.