to not help her?

[DorothyL]

Last year a colleague covered some hours at work for me (just a couple) so I could see my son's assembly at school. She has now asked me to return the favour but I have said no because it would mean I couldn't pick ds up from school and would have to ask dh to take time off to collect ds. Ds had sn which is why I can't just ask a friend to collect him. My colleague seems a bit put out and I have apologised, but I was hoping she'd be more understanding? I would happily help if I could do it without it affecting ds.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

midnite op was going to offer to do some admin for her colleague to pay back for the assembly.

[pictish]

This thread is just mad.

[MidniteScribbler]

Yes I do owe her, the point is though is it at any cost?

So what are you going to offer her?

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

That is true but she needs to sort out her differing. I can understand why posters would be frustrated with her.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

That is not the same as having no support, yes its limited and yes its difficult, but its still a support network.

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

DH has to work and as the op said in her post he has difficulty getting time off. MIL has to look after FIL and she can't always pick up her DS. I do understand her struggle and that is coming from someone who only has a dp for support.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Sunshineonacloudyday

But DorothyL does have a support network in her DH and MiL.

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

I know exactly how it feels to not have support around you its tough. You do what feels right no judgement from me.

[DorothyL]

I wouldn't pull a sickie.

And I doubt that nobody else would be willing to help.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Sunshineonacloudyday
You will have to pull a sickie next time.

That attitude is "dreadful".

[JacquesHammer]

Ask slt for time off
Ask a different colleague
Miss it

If different colleague hears they're not going to be rushing to help you.

I think its the fact you wangled paid leave to watch an assembly that's galling for me. So you were happy to put a colleague out to ensure you didn't lose any pay but won't reciprocate.

All a bit mean-spirited really.

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

You will have to pull a sickie next time.

[DorothyL]

Year 5, not many assemblies to go

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

When he gets to secondary school that will be it with attending assembly's. What year is he in year 5 or 6?

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

I have done favours for people I don't hold them accountable after. There have been times when I need a favour but if they can't do it. I would not have any bad feelings to them. I think that the op is getting a lot of grief for not being able to fulfil a favour. Her family has to come first. What does your husband think you should do?

[DorothyL]

Not sure yet - I might

Ask slt for time off
Ask a different colleague
Miss it

[JacquesHammer]

So just as a matter of interest what happens next time your son has an assembly?

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

If it means you end up neglecting your son then no. Honestly do you really need to ask.

[DorothyL]

Yes I do owe her, the point is though is it at any cost?

[HKHKHR]

I would definitely do the swap for her. Goodwill counts for a lot. No wonder most teachers are so miserable if people are like this. When you owe someone a swap you owe them a swap.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

Yet another "new poster", I see.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

"Sunshineonacloudyday

Munster are you a teacher I would be shocked if you were. I hope no one recognises you on here."

What on earth? Her posts make perfect sense.

[misskatamari]

My mind is boggling at the flack the OP is getting here. She's said repeatedly that she would be happy to return the favour this colleague did, but she can't do it this time, for valid reasons. Colleague covered a lesson on one of her frees, OP has said time and again she would be more than happy to do this in return. However she cannot stay in work late as she has to pick up her Ds, and it would be very difficult to arrange for someone else to do this. I really don't see how that is unreasonable.

As others have said, when you do a favour for someone you don't do it with conditions. Yes you might think "oh I did them a favour, I'll ask them when I need something" but if it's something that they can't help with or is at a time they can't do, you wouldn't expect them to change plans and inconvenience others and cause a load of hassle, just to clear their "debt" to you. Or at least I know I wouldn't. I'd think "oh that's a shame, I'll ask someone else". I can't believe how many people making a massive deal of how unreasonable the op is being. It really doesn't seem like it is. Someone has asked a favour, unfortunately she can't help. The previous favour isn't relevant to that imo.

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

I agree with oldbirdy she won't get paid for it so why should she offer something up for free. Wouldn't her colleagues be asking questions.

[Sunshineonacloudyday]

Soupandsandwich if she done anything wrong then someone needs to report her. If she don't do it in her own time then what its up to her employers thats what. Are you seriously telling me that she has to neglect her child to do a favour someone because they done one for her in June. The op has not posted she wouldn't return the favour she said she will. Friday she has a parental responsibility to her son. She has no one else to pick him up husband has to work etc etc. What do you want her to do the responses on here are very unreasonable and unhelpful. The op can't find another teacher to cover for her she posted that the particular lady did not want everyone knowing about her get away.

Can we all agree on that if the op does not collect her child on Friday it is neglect.