To ask if it is foolish to think a career doesn't have to stop if you have a baby?

[Workworkwork1]

Been trying to get our ducks in a row. Qualifications tied up, house bought, wedding approaching. We are 24 and 27.

Work is currently holding me back. I work in the NHS and there is this ethos among those who talk about it that you should hit band x before you TTC. Seemingly they think everything will stop and you'll settle there forever.

My background/quals means I am capable of getting to director level (one day!) if I graft. Part of me doesn't want to wait what I think will be 3-4 years from now to hit that band. I'd rather just start TTC sooner and carry on the career battle alongside having a baby or two. I know it might not happen straight off the bat or at all, which is another reason I don't want to hold off...

I know priorities would change/our lives would flip on their head, but am I being completely foolish to think I can still climb the ladder if we TTC in more like 1-2 years, when I am about 4 years in to this career?

[Squeegle]

I also think the hardest bit isn't when they're at nursery! It's when you are helping with homework every night and arguing about what time they're going to bed that it all becomes especially tiring!! Frankly I would've happy never to do another day's work!innmh life at the moment- it just seems to get in the way- but I'm sure it's just a phase!!

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

Having DC tends to be a band 6 thing (me included). Don't ask me why! Probably an age thing. I don't know anyone who's a band 8 who isn't in their 40s+.

[juls1888]

Since my son was born, I have managed to achieve a managerial role with a prestigious firm and also got a £11k payrise in a year. He has made me more determined to work hard and not be shy to ask for opportunities and has also made me a far better manager of people as I am so much less of a workaholic and have a much more realistic view of parenthood etc now. Absolutely the best thing I have done, feel so bad for putting TTC off for so long now.

[Randytortoise]

I had 2 DC during my nqt year. It meant it took almost 4 years. I have climbed the pay scale but more slowly than my uni friends who are now going into deputy head positions when I am only a year out of nqt.

[Comejointhemurder]

I'm also wondering who is a Band 8 at 27!.

I don't think having a baby necessarily limits career progression in the NHS but the ability to work full time does - most band 7 and above posts in my trust are full- time so if you'd only be able to work part- time that will limit opportunities.

[Misselthwaite]

Personally I would get a few more years progression under your belt. The women I know who are promoted either have no kids or older kids or they're the breadwinner and their partner does most of the kid stuff.

One benefit both DH and I have from being more senior at work before having children is the flexibility you get. So if DH wants to take a few hours out to watch sports day he just does it. No one is checking up on him like they did when he was starting out.

[Comejointhemurder]

Sorry x- post. Just read you're non - clinical so I can't comment really as can only offer my experience of clinical staff.

[LetsJunglyJumpToIt]

I don't think I know any part time band 7s.

[cowbag1]

I'm in this dilemma at the moment and what's really holding me back from progressing to higher bands is that I don't want to work full time. There have been plenty of opportunities and I've been actively encouraged to apply but I don't want to work any more than 4 days which just isn't feasible in more senior positions (I'm in service management). So I've accepted that I'll have to wait to progress until the DCs are older.

I think you're better having children earlier on in your career when you aren't as senior. There will be more flexibility on hours and less expectation to do unpaid overtime or work at home, which is really hard going when you have little ones.

[cowbag1]

I'm a band 7 by the way. But other band 7s I know have had part time hours turned down.

[Workworkwork1]

Cowbag1

Interesting, I don't know service managers who are part time either. I would quite fancy diversifying out of Finance at some point but I think you guys get worked a bit harder. I do know an 8b and an 8c in Finance where I worked recently who are part time. It's not easy to come by such roles but they do exist in Finance. It's actually not an easy area to recruit to particularly more senior posts. Certain organisations, particularly Home Counties wise have lots of vacancies for senior Finance posts.

[cowbag1]

I know a few but it's rare and very much depends on the attitude of the head of ops. I was incredibly lucky to be granted 4 days pt but I end up working pretty much ft hours as I often do work in the evenings.

I think service managers and general mangers (the 8as in my Trust) have a very tough job and you often can't just leave at 5 if something kicks off late in the afternoon, which can be an issue with childcare. Other 7 and 8s outside of operational management may work differently though. A supportive and flexible partner is a must!

[Crisscrosscranky]

I'm an HR Manager for those asking about Band 8's at 27

[Carrados]

I had my DD mid-senior level and I'm now interviewing for higher senior roles and DD is 21 months. Your career and your family life is what you make it to be. If you're smart, always keep on the pulse even when on mat leave, get a mentor and make strategic networks and choices, you can do it.

[Comtesse]

I'm sorry I disagree with the comments that your priorities will change after having a baby. You may feel different about your career but you may not. I have got 2 big promotions since first child born (she is now 6). Mind you when dh lost his job I didn't have much choice. Having a baby doesn't have to result in a completely new personality.

[Babycham1979]

Why's everyone so mystified about being an 8a at 27? I was, both at a commissioner and a provider, and was a band 9 Director by 32. There were younger directors out there than me, too.

OP, you don't have to sacrifice your career or ambition, but you will have to compromise. Not everyone is happy letting their partner be the SAHP or putting their young baby in nursery. There's no way you can do the hours required and have the flexibility required to become a director anytime soon, unless someone else looks after your child.

On the other hand, you could knock out a couple of kids ASAP and be back working like a Stakhanovite within a few years. You'd be a director by 40 if you're any good!

[OlennasWimple]

IME having one child isn't the death knell to your career, but having a second / subsequent has a much greater effect.

There is a school of thought that having DC earlier can be better career-wise in the long run: say you have #1 when you are 27 and #2 when you are 30 (for the sake of argument). This means that when you are 41 your youngest is going into secondary school. When you are 48 your youngest is going off to college. When your colleagues who had children later in life are still juggling nativity plays and summer camps, you are able to dedicate as much time as you want to your career, with relatively few DC-related distractions (apply usual caveats about life not always panning out as planned....).

[IPityThePontipines]

Why's everyone so mystified at being a Band 8a at 27?

Do you really need that spelling out to you? It's because for a clinical person (which it appears all those querying are), being a Band 8a at 27 is almost unheard of.

I know some Advanced Neonatal Nurse Practitioners on an 8a, but they are all in their 30's, because it takes years of study and experience to get there.

That you are apparently so senior in the NHS, yet have no idea about career progression for the bulk of its staff is saddening, but unsurprising.

That there are staff nurses taking charge of their wards each shift on a Band 5, while a bunch of twentysomethings swan about in suits earning double their salary makes me despair.

[AyeAmarok]

I'm pregnant with DC1 but can already feel myself wanting to prioritise a bit of flexibility over a bit of extra money...

Never thought I'd say that TBH.

[maggiethemagpie]

Doesn't it all depend on whether you'll be expected to take on the bulk of the childcare? I think this is a bit of a sexist question - would a man ever ask this?

My hubby is a SAHD so having two DC hasn't affected my career in the slightest, I went back full time after one year with DS and six months with DD.

If I had to go back part time though it may well have done.

[blueturtle6]

Not foolish to have both, but I was very career orientated and my priorities have changed massively since having a baby..

[PrancingQueen]

Well said Ipitythepontipines
I was thinking the same.

[amroc18]

I would have said go for it a couple of years ago. But currently on mat leave 2 being leapfrogged to promotion by me peers and feel very much behind. This isn't right of course but many workplaces are inherently ageist and assume of you haven't been promoted by a certain age you can't cut it. And assume you want the mummy track if you have kids! I think it can still be done but much harder!

[amroc18]

And excuse the typos-baby in one hand!

[PlanIsNoPlan]

what Pity says ^^