Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

1 2

AIBU?

AIBU to expect DH might be in a fit state to help once he returns from a stag do?

33 replies

WereJammin · 04/09/2016 18:10

DH has been on a stag do this weekend but is now back. He said he came back early Coz he wanted to see me and LO, which is nice. However he's currently conked out and doing FA. I'm a tad miffed by this as I've done the childcare and chores this weekend while he's away and sort of hoped he might help me once he was back. Should I just be cool with the fact that it's a stag do so he's going to come back and be useless due to hangover?

OP posts:

Report

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 04/09/2016 21:04

If you took the baby then you are a martyr. Don't be a martyr. Say no.

Yabu about the stag weekend though. Assuming it is a rare event of course.

bakingaddict · 04/09/2016 21:00

Did you take the baby or fix him a death stare saying are you fucking crazy jog on which would be my response

WereJammin · 04/09/2016 20:57

In response to questions about being ill, he has actually handed me the baby after 2 hours when I had food poisoning because he hadn't been able to do something he wanted to with his car. That hacked me off.

I wasn't planning a list of chores for him... Just as he was here would have liked a bit of help at the time with tea and putting the washing away. We both work so there are jobs to do at the weekend.

OP posts:

trafalgargal · 04/09/2016 20:48

Go for it
Give him a reallyhard time .....and next stag do you can guarantee he won't bother even thinking of coming home early.

If you didn't want him to go in the first place then you should have said rather than gone PA afterwards (I don't get the SAHM idea that one child means there's still loads to do at the weekend, my way of looking at it was I got everything done in the week freeing up family time for the three of us to spend without any major chores)

Rachcakes · 04/09/2016 20:01

Leave him be and plan yourself a blinding girls weekend soon

StMary · 04/09/2016 19:59

I would have been miffed if dh gave me a list of stuff to do as soon as I stepped in the door.

It seemed more like the OP hoped her DH would at least be present given he'd used her and their DC as an excuse To come home.

If he wanted a rest he would've been better off feigning illness but staying put in the hotel schoolboy error

MozzchopsThirty · 04/09/2016 19:57

I agree sunny, who wants a list of stuff to do when they get in the door

What are you expecting from him OP?

SunnyBanker · 04/09/2016 19:45

Well I have to ask...if you've had all weekend to do the childcare and chores, what exactly is left to do at this time on a Sunday night?

He's been on a stag do which is (presumably) a one off...let the poor bugger sleep! I went on a 3 day hen do a couple of months ago and got back at 4pm on the Sunday and I would have been miffed if dh gave me a list of stuff to do as soon as I stepped in the door.

HelenaDove · 04/09/2016 19:41

Mozzchops you are the only adult in your home. But there are TWO adults in the OPs home both making mess.

But like you said yourself whats so tiring about a few chores and taking care of one child.............if its such a breeze then the OPs DH could have got stuck in as soon as he got back without needing to rest!!!

onecurrantbun1 · 04/09/2016 19:39

I always tell DH to have a big lie in and come back when he's in a fit state to be climbed on / pitch in as usual. It hacks me off to have another adult there not pulling their weight but I know it's unreasonable to expect that so it's Best to have a clear boundary.

Mozz I am in awe of single parents, , but when their are 2 cohabiting partners things should be roughly 50/50, kids or no kids

RubbleBubble00 · 04/09/2016 19:38

he probably couldnt hack the pace so 'came home to see you aka sleep it off'. Let poor bloke sleep

HermioneJeanGranger · 04/09/2016 19:38

OP, do you keep going when you're ill through choice, or because your DH doesn't pull his weight?

MozzchopsThirty · 04/09/2016 19:32

When fathers do what?
He's been on a stag do, came home early and flaked out big deal

I wonder what's so tiring about a few chores and taking care of (??one) child

HelenaDove · 04/09/2016 19:30

Mozzchops do you see it as "helping out" when fathers do it?

MozzchopsThirty · 04/09/2016 19:28

What a weird thread

I've done all the chores & childcare this weekend and no one is gonna come in and 'help' because I'm a lone parent

What have you done that's so tiring

God some people make such a big deal out of parenting

StMary · 04/09/2016 19:23

Yanbu.

If either me or DH need "time off" we negotiate it so it's fair and suits all of us. If DH is out for a heavy night or away for a stag do we discuss what time he thinks he can be fully functional again and that's what he has to commit to. I do the same if I'm away/out.

Msqueen33 · 04/09/2016 19:20

I took my three kids including two with disabilities away for two weeks so my dh has only had himself to look after and five days on his own with the weekend and bank holiday weekend. We came back Tuesday night and today he's moaning he's tired!

bakingaddict · 04/09/2016 19:19

Why don't you get to rest if your ill is it because he won't let you or do you like to be a martyr. Genuine question if I'm ill I go to bed for a few hours and DH looks after the kids unless I'm just home with them then I lie on the sofa and put the TV on for them

HelenaDove · 04/09/2016 19:11

"I think in the past that I've not been able to get rest even when ill so it's made me a bit bitter"

So you dont get
rest when you have been ill when being ill isnt a choice but he gets to rest after a stag do when a stag do is a choice.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 04/09/2016 19:10

If it makes you feel better why not get the hoover (Dyson?) out and give the place a good going over!?

whothefuckhas5children · 04/09/2016 19:06

Now not ow

whothefuckhas5children · 04/09/2016 19:05

In our house when you're home then you're home and you're expected to pull your weight. But when we had less children you could come home and crash if needed. those were the days

Wouldn't change it ow though.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

WereJammin · 04/09/2016 18:35

Thanks all. Yes I have just let him get on with sleeping but was starting to feel miffed so this has helped. I think in the past that I've not been able to get rest even when ill so it's made me a bit bitter. Will make sure I get time off too but I always just get on and do stuff... Which is my own fault.

OP posts:

WereJammin · 04/09/2016 18:35

Thanks all. Yes I have just let him get on with sleeping but was starting to feel miffed so this has helped. I think in the past that I've not been able to get rest even when ill so it's made me a bit bitter. Will make sure I get time off too but I always just get on and do stuff... Which is my own fault.

OP posts:

FeckinCrutches · 04/09/2016 18:31

Yabu. My husband just sends me to bed and orders a takeaway when I've been away.

Unflip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.