to think the expectations about children starting Reception are very low?

[mendimoo]

I look after my nephew a lot because his parents both work long hours (NHS.) Today he had a home visit from his teacher before he starts school next week. She bought some things with her as 'ice breakers' and, in her words, was 'absolutely amazed' by DN. She bought some five piece peg puzzles that my two year old has been able to do for months. DN showed her the 100 piece puzzle he'd completed that morning and she was gobsmacked. She asked some leading questions to see if he knew his colours and again was shocked that he did. Again, my DD can pick out colours and colour sort and she's two - DN has known his colours since around 18 months.

DN also demonstrated that he could read numbers 1-10 (he can read 1-20 but she didn't have the resources to stretch that far), read CVC words and use words like more, less, bigger, smaller, the same to compare objects and groups. She asked if he could recognise his name and was really shocked that he could read and write it.

I think reading the CVC words is a little ahead but don't most children know their colours and numbers by reception age? The teachers expectations seemed extremely low.

[Fanjolena]

Reciting numbers and words is not really reading and counting it's just saying numbers and words they've learned by practice, does dd/dn any comprehension of 1:1 correspondence? Does dn know that words in a book have meaning or is he just saying the story by heart? There's a big difference.

[MackerelOfFact]

It sounds totally appropriate to me. Imagine if the teacher turned up with a frigging exam paper for a tiny child who has received precisely zero formal education?! I'm sure for many parents who have nothing to compare their child to, they have no idea how they place academically aged 4. And why does it matter? That's what they're going to school for.

[FireballFish]

YABU for judging other children's abilities against your own perceived expectations! It's also a wonderful idea for children to meet their teachers in their own, familiar, relaxed environment and to see them as approachable, encouraging individuals.

[insancerre]

Children's ability on entering reception has no bearing on their ability when taking GCSEs

Just because they seem ahead at age 5 , doesn't mean they will always be ahead
The other children tend to catch up

In fact, I think children can be turned off learning at a very young age because they are forced into formal learning far too early

[zoemaguire]

"In my neighbourhood children starting reception are assumed to be able to write and read basic words and carry on fairly complex conversations"

Oh how ridiculous! What a hideous neighbourhood to live in, is all I can say... Fwiw, my highly academic DD couldn't read or write when she started reception. I'm prepared to bet that within a couple of terms she'd considerably overtaken most of those who could...

[TheEternalForever]

To be honest, I think the visit was more about introducing/reintroducing herself to your DN and making him feel at ease about starting school (and also reassuring parents/adults present). She probably brought a range of activities, some suitable for that age and perhaps some suitable for a little younger too, so that most of the children she visits will be able to do something from the range available, to boost their confidence. It would do nothing for your DN's confidence levels or willingness to start school if she'd rocked up with an assorted collection of Proust, Les Mis in its original untranslated form, some advanced calculus, and a command for him to spell the 25 longest words in the English language, and then shook her head sadly when he was unable to do anything with these. She visits children of all different levels (naturally, they are only 4 and 5 years old) and she probably just wants to make them feel comfortable and excited about starting, hence the huge amounts of praise and the nice, gentle activities.

[pontynan]

YABU. The teacher was being polite and encouraging. I teach primary teachers and I think most of them would agree that although many children arrive in school being able to do some or all of the things you mentioned, it isn't that important. The things you really need to teach kids before they go to school are being able to eat properly with a knife and fork, dress themselves and put coats and hats on, go to the lavatory on their own, do their shoes up, play with other children, take turns etc etc. These are the things that will make a reception class teacher love you for ever, not reading numbers 1 to 10 - which, by the way, drives teachers senseless as it is really important that children learn to count and recognise numbers from 0.

[iamapixiebutnotaniceone]

OP - is this a (not very stealthy) stealth brag?

[pamhill64]

Actually I think it is clever for his age! Teacher Unions have complained that many teachers are having to potty train some kids, teach them to sit down to a task or eat at the table, or use cutlery rather than fingers, get dressed/undressed, hold a pencil/crayon and go to the bathroom by themselves! Yes pretty bad but some parents down teach their kids what I'd call the basics. Unfortunately if your DN or DD are "bright" then can become a bit bored as teachers struggle with those type of kids and assume all kids can't do the things you've described so a low starting point for all. So just watch he doesn't give up through boredom

[38cody]

It's quite sweet to have an auntie stealth boasting instead of a mum though.

[Aeroflotgirl]

There could be a big difference between a child turning 4 in August whilst his/her peers may be turning 5 in Seotember.

[Aeroflotgirl]

That is what I feel is so wrong for a school to stipulate something like that. They need to build on what the child already knows, and to help them with such skills. That is what school is there for.

[Aeroflotgirl]

All well and good apringle, what if child cannot. As you have read on here, all children develop at different rates, some might not be there yet.

[QuackDuckQuack]

Something that is easily overlooked is that reception teachers are ambassadors for the school. They start the critical relationship between parents and the school. Within every cohort of parents there are ones that haven't set foot in a school since they left. Some may view teachers (and other authority figures) with suspicion or hostility. They may have had negative experiences at school or struggled with schoolwork.

The home visit is a way of starting a new relationship away from the school environment that may make those parents more guarded.

[apringle]

In my neighbourhood, children starting reception are assumed to be able to write and read basic words and carry on fairly complex conversations - so this school is definitely way below average and if agree she is praising what my (and most) 2 year olds could do. Hopefully it was just her being polite.

[Heebiejeebies77]

I think in this day and age so many people are clued up about how to help their pre-school children develop, that it's not so unusual to have a young toddler who can count to twenty or above, recognise letters and simple words or are confident talkers with an impressive vocab/have great motor skills/enjoy drawing and making/recognise colours and shapes/push themselves physically/good at puzzles etc etc blah blah blah. It makes no difference who is doing the childcare - if the person looking after your kid is switched on and caring, the kid will shine. Sometimes they do anyway, despite everything. You may find that once your nephew starts school he's one of the 'brightest' for his age, or he's round about the middle of the class with some far more precocious kids than him taking the top spots.
A mate of mine has a tendency to go on about how bright her dd is and 'she doesn't know where she gets it from'. The only difference between what her daughter could do at 19 months and mine, is that her little one is incredibly chatty with everyone, while my dd was a lot shyer talking to other adults and kids, while talking up a storm at home, (and also able to do a lot of other things on the above list). There were environmental reasons for the confidence talking to others, I feel. Now, of course I think my girl is bright and I'm proud of her, but so are other children we know from groups etc. Another mates little girl is incredibly imaginative and sensitive; she makes up stories and already has a very musical ear. My other mate just doesn't bang on about it, but I observe it for myself. Like another mumsnetter said, I think if you spent some time with other mums whose children are around the same age you'd be surprised at how much they are capable of doing. Just don't bring competition into the mix, however subtly you think you're doing it. It really winds people up and puts them on a back foot. What are you supposed to say to someone who keeps going on about how great their kid is, without getting into tit for tat or just ignoring their existence. It's wearing. The teacher was just being encouraging to your lovely little nephew to make sure he felt welcomed into what will be a scary new experience.

[WittyCakeMeister]

I do wish that some people would not presume others are boasting just because they write about positive achievements. Its as if its wrong to discuss abilities just in case others can't do it. Achievements should be celebrated and not dumbed down. Of course academic ability is not the only measure of success - pretty obvious.

I took this post to be more about the teacher and a question of what's 'normal' regarding school preparation/expectations, not an attempt by an Aunt to show off her nephew's credentials.

[Aeroflotgirl]

IWould

[Gallievans]

Or genii if you want to be pedantic about plurals!

[Gallievans]

My DD is near!y 15 and doing really well at school. She could read her name when she started reception, knew her colours and numbs (in two languages). But she's not a bookworm despite us reading to her every night!

On the other side of the scale a friend of mine has 6 children bsdtween the ages of 15 and 3. The youngest two (4 and 3) would not know what to do with a book if asked, the only time they are read to is if either I or one of their grandparents are babysitting. Yet they can both feed themselves, are toilet trained and can operate smaphones, tablets and the TV Another friend's 4 year o!LD can on the other hand read very well and wouldn't know what to do with the tablet. Different strokes for different folks. Any of these could grow up to be the next Brian Cox (phoar!) , totally average or be an underachiever, but it's far too early to tell. It's good that your DN and your own DC are doing well but that doesn't mean the teacher thought they were a pair of mini genius!

[IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes]

That's amazing how much he's come on in such a short time aero

[IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes]

Yeah I think there's a lot to be said for them starting a bit later aero. And if they are going so young it should be a gradual thing. Enough pressure in life as an adult they need to enjoy being kids!

[IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes]

I was thinking that too Errrr. Maybe the teacher was also wondering about the parents and she went a bit overboard with other topics rather than mention it?

[Aeroflotgirl]

We have I would, I think because of ds difficulties they will not lay it on as hard, I will certainly speak to the teacher if they are. In some countries and where my mum is originally from, they don't start school until 7 so 4 is very young, and to expect them to do all those things. No wonder a lot of teens choose to leave education after GCSEs, the ones I know anyway. It takes the fun and enjoyment out of learning.

[IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes]

Totally aero i don't remember getting homework at that age at all! But apparently they get it straight away now? Seems way too young it's a big enough transition as it is. I'm going to start throwing the term "CVC words" into everyday conversation now Least we've learned something new!!