Is this a compliment or an insult? DH and I can't agree!

[AngelSami]

I'm actually really hurt by it. However, I feel a bit better thinking that maybe it was actually a compliment

I've known this friend for 3 years, I'd say we are close, but not 'I want to sit and watch movies with you all day' close.

I sing, not professionally or anything, used to be in a choir and just enjoy it. I recently sung a solo in church (a big deal to me!) she then says "to be honest, you sounded so much better with my eyes shut, stunning voice". This isn't some kind of stealth boast btw, I have a typical voice, nothing special, no star quality, fat, unattractive. Well, I don't see how it would be anyway, as I found the comment offensive! I know she went on to compliment me, but it's the first bit... Isn't that always said about people who are basically really unattractive and they're so unattractive it ruins their voice?

I'm either right or very hormonal (32+1 wks)

[Rachel0Greep]

Badly worded, but I would definitely think it was meant as a compliment.
Sometimes listening to a really good singer, I would close my eyes, just appreciating the moment, and probably shutting out distractions too.

[AndieNZ]

Assuming the tone to her voice wasn't "off" then I would say it was meant as a compliment.

Sometimes beautiful singing is even more beautiful and magical listened to with eyes shut.

Don't give it another thought. You are so lucky, I would love to have a lovely singing voice.

[ArtyMissus]

Can be difficult to assess meaning in what was said, as not there and can only hear your take which might not be as intended. What is certain is that it is fab you are able to perform like this, and you need not spend time worrying over "snide" things some may say .. if meant in that way, these people are really not worth it! Unattractive ..? Not with a talent like that I think!

[Tiredtomybones]

Compliment. I am very easily distracted so have to close my eyes to appreciate things.

[MammouthTask]

'your voice is stunning' was a compliment.

'It was better with my eyes shut', for ME, is a statement of facts. It's easier to concentrate and appreciate music with your eyes shut as you don't get distracted by the surrounding.
I personally find that it's true for a lot of things. If you remove one of the senses (sight usually) it becomes easier to concentrate on whatever it is you want to feel.
It does mean though that she made a special effort to really listen to you during the concert, why in itself, is a compliment and says a lot about your friendship (in a good way!)

[RainbowDashian]

It's a compliment. She closed her eyes to concentrate on the sound better, it has absolutely nothing to do with not wanting to look at you.

[shovetheholly]

I think it was supposed to be a compliment, but came out wrong.

I have a feeling what she meant to say was 'You have a lovely voice, and when I close my eyes and really focus on it without all the distractions around me, I realise how special it is'. It came out as 'you sound so much better when I can't see you', which obviously sounds awful but I'm sure was not meant to!!

[CJCreggsGoldfish]

Another vote for compliment here. I don't think her closing her eyes and enjoying it has anything to do with your looks, but everything to do with fully appreciating your voice without distractions.

[Eyedrophell]

I have a few friends with beautiful voices. I had to close my eyes too, I couldn't process the voice coming from someone I knew (but didn't know could sing). It's odd. Maybe she meant that.

[phillipp]

I have a friend who is a professional singer. He is also very attractive. However I didn't realise exactly how amazing his voice was until I heard him without seeing him.

I went to a show and heard him from back stage and was like 'who is that?'

For some reason when i see him sing it's like 'yeah that's X, he is good' almost like I couldn't disconnect his talent from him. He is just my mate when I see him. But it really brought home how good he was when it was just his voice alone.

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

She said your voice was stunning. If she can only appreciate it with her eyes closed that is her problem.
When I was about 12 I was told that I looked better in the dark!

[blitheringbuzzards1234]

She said your voice was stunning. If she can only appreciate it with her eyes closed that is her problem.
When I was about 12 I was told that I looked better in the dark!

[SoupDragon]

Yes, I think that what she said isn't quite what she meant to say. It could have been she needed to stop seeing it was her friend singing and just listen.

[acasualobserver]

I'm sure your singing was in a class of its own!

[TheLastRoseOfSummer]

Yep, I agree. I think she was letting you know that she wasn't just telling you she was enjoying it because it was you, her friend, but because she genuinely enjoyed listening.

[43percentburnt]

Compliment. By shutting your eyes whilst listening to music you avoid distractions around you and focus on the voice/music. I think some people are more visual so this helps concentration.

I sometimes do this whilst watching TV if I really want to hear the song (especially if it's a music video).

[Dozer]

Could be either, and if it was a compliment it was badly worded, but the fact that to you, who know her, it felt like a backhanded one means it's more likely to have been backhanded.

[DamnGood314]

compliment!
she wanted to focus on the sound.

[ConvincingLiar]

Avoiding distractions. I also find it a bit weird watching people I know perform if I haven't always seen them perform IYSWIM. I find it mildly embarrassing for some reason.

[Foslady]

Compliment - prefers it more when she concentrates on your voice rather than has her eyes (and mind) open to distractions

[MoreCoffeeNow]

I often close my eyes at concerts. It makes it all about the music and I'm not distracted by other people, the singer's clothes, others on stage.

I don't think it was a dig at all. With her eyes open she sees a friend singing, with them closed it's all about the sound.

[VashtaNerada]

I think it's a compliment too, that your voice sounded lovely when she closed her eyes and focused on it. If she meant it the other way that would be horrible!

[FindoGask]

Interesting to read the different perspectives here!

I would give her the benefit of the doubt - especially if she doesn't have a history of making snide or off colour remarks. As someone else said, my immediate thought was that she meant if she closed her eyes she could just listen to your voice without thinking about how she knew the person singing. Also I've never wanted to close my eyes to listen to a bad singer.

On balance I really do think she'd have to be some sort of awful person to want to insult you in the way you think - and if you've been friends for three years, presumably if she was that awful you'd have noticed it before.

[Arkhamasylum]

Maybe ask her to enjoy it with her mouth shut next time?

Seriously though, I think she meant to compliment your voice and it came out wrong. Sometimes people just put things in an odd way without meaning to. Closing your eyes when listening to music is to block out other distractions. Saying she did that to concentrate on your voice is a pretty big compliment! She just didn't express herself very well.