To not get how when you buy a wedding package from somewhere it's a years worth of work?

[feellikeahugefailure]

I'm probably being U, but i just dont see how a wedding is so much work.

You choose a package from a venue that does them every weekend. Pick who's coming and sitting where, the entertainment, photographer, go tasting to decide what to eat, flowers, dress. Sure its a few weekends of sorting stuff, but I don't see how people claim to have spent a year organising their wedding?

[florascotianew]

Okay traditionally and theologically speaking, you and your cat are very much along the right lines.
In traditional Christianity, the male and female getting married are the ones who administer the sacrament of marriage to each other. They make the promises. They 'take' each other by words spoken in the present tense as husband and/or wife.The role of the priest is one of witness/civil servant.
DTD afterwards 'cements' the union.
Again traditionally, the couple need witnesses, but that was just to make sure that neither one side or the othe r later tried to deny what had happened.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

We probably spread the planning of our wedding over a year - it might have been a bit longer - but I was doing the final year of my degree at the same time.

We had a day we loved - all our family and friends around us, I felt pretty(ish) in my dress, the flowers were lovely (we bought them and the ladies from the village where MIL lived and we got married, arranged them for us), and had a nice, informal party afterwards. Mum baked the cake, and then we had it professionally iced. My dress was made by my chief bridesmaid's mum, who also made three of the four bridemaids' dresses (dsis made her own). The fabric for the bridesmaids' dresses cost £20 from a stall called Mad Ada's on Bury Market.

It wasn't a big wedding, but there was still a fair amount of organising involved - and travelling too, because I was at university in Staffordshire, we were getting married in Hampshire, dh lived in London, and the lovely lady making my dress lived in Manchester.

I think it might be a lot easier to organise a similar 'do' now, because of the internet, and how much easier that makes communication - I didn't even have a mobile phone (almost no-one did, then), and the internet was a long-off dream - so that made things more time consuming.

If someone wants a huge wedding, with lots of coordinated details, and has the time and the money to do it - more power to them. If someone wants a register office ceremony and a BBQ in the back garden - that's great too. We are all different.

[MrsKoala]

Quitting work for a wedding reminds me of one place i worked where i did top level events and the attendees used to ask me where i 'summered' or where i was spending the ski season. They seemed gobsmacked when i told them i only got 20 days annual leave a year (i dread to think what they would have thought if i told them what i earned! and that i couldn't afford to go skiing even if i wanted to). They insisted that couldn't be right.

[scaryteacher]

Organised our wedding in 6 weeks flat, start to finish before the invention of the interweb. Got bridesmaid, flowers, cake, reception, church (choir and bells), accommodation for people and dresses all sorted. Dh in uniform, so easy for him.

[Lorelei76]

Bluechip - no, it doesn't make your marriage void

it's just if okay's cat actually donned collar for the service, then I don't think she can win the lowest-effort wedding prize.

[Womenareliketeabags]

My engagement was only 7 months so I did it all in that time. Week 1 was picking the date and booking church and reception venue etc. Then not a lot really til 2 monthsish to go. Ours was a smallish family and close friends only wedding with reception in the local pubs venue room. Nowt fancy but then we aren't either!

[MsVestibule]

I'm ashamed to say that I thought the same as the OP. That was before I started planning my own wedding.

We got engaged at Christmas (original) and decided we wanted to get married fairly quickly. TBH, booking the 'big' things like the venue/flowers/cake/photographer wasn't that difficult or time consuming.

It was the small details that I got stressed about, like choosing and downloading the music (supposed to be DH's responsibility 😡), trying to find booster seats for the children etc, all last minute things that I hadn't thought about far enough in advance.

The venue owners were total twats, too; completely unsuited to being hoteliers.

I think the fact that we decided to get married 100 miles from our home, when I had a baby, a very clingy toddler and PND probably wasn't the best idea, either.

Having said that, the ceremony itself was beautiful and we're still happily married seven years later.

[Dontyoulovecalpol]

Some people aren't used to making Decisons and just make more of it than others.

[hazeimcgee]

"Some people aren't used to making Decisons and just make more of it than others"

Well the condescending award goes to Dontou! Just because some people want to loom at different venues, try on lots of dresses, make lots of stuff themselves, have specific dates in mind for the wedding, etc doesn't mean that it's because they can't make a decision. It's like me suggesting that those who spent a month just can't be bothered and abdicated decision making for the first of everything they saw!

[DancingDinosaur]

It's like me suggesting that those who spent a month just can't be bothered and abdicated decision making for the first of everything they saw!

Ermm, well now you mention it, maybe not the first, probably the second for me, occasionally the first I don't care though, it turned out fab, best day of my life. Some people have a fixed plan of what they want, others don't. It matters very little either way though.

[MaisieDotes]

mrskoala yes, I think my table-neighbour was probably the same demographic as the clients you're describing.

A different world!

[MargaretCavendish]

When I got engaged a few people told me that it was the most stressful thing you ever do. I quickly realised that these people did not have stressful jobs. We had a church wedding with 90 people to a sit down meal - ie. a roughly medium sized wedding, organised in five months. It doesn't even rank in the top 10 most stressful things I've done.

[hazeimcgee]

DancongDino i wasn't suggesting it was the case, just making a point about bitchy generalisations

Agree Margaret, some people def need a sense of perspective

[switswoo81]

We booked ours 16 months in advance as we had family and friends travelling home for different places so it gave them plenty of notice. Did most stuff online but definitely found some stuff like the pre marriage course took a whole weekend. Do you have to do these if you marry in a church in the UK.

[mogloveseggs]

First wedding six months from first looking at venues till wedding. Probably spent a month altogether on it.
Second one booked reg office four months before. Think spent three days planning.

[MidnightAura]

I'm getting married in 2 weeks. We have planned and organised the wedding in six months. The only difficult thing was the dress as i was told there was certain dresses I couldn't have due to time.

[DancingDinosaur]

I know you weren't hazeimcgee.

[Dontyoulovecalpol]

It's not a bitchy generalisation hazel. Like a PP when we started planning ours I was told it was the most stressful thing you can do. I also came to the conclusion that people who thought that hadn't really experienced stress, especially work stress. It didn't come close to stressful or time consuming. Doesn't sound like it did for you either

[StatisticallyChallenged]

I think whether it's stressful has a hell of a lot to do with family dynamics actually. Ours was ridiculously stressful but it waa more because of family members being utter knobs about the wedding than the wedding itself. If we'd been planning in a vacuum it might have been easier but when relatives are determined to have their way about everything from seating plans to venues to canapés then it can be incredibly stressful.

And I've definitely experienced stress both before and since. Still maintain it was stressful as hell.

[Dontyoulovecalpol]

My family (or in laws) were ridiculously stressful but that's just them, not wedding planning.

[hazeimcgee]

dontyou no the bitchy generalisation comment was about people who take more than 1 month to book a wedding can't make decisions

I loved planning ours but mainly for the awesome spreadsheet i made that got us in under budget!!

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Well kind of, if we hadn't been getting married then we wouldn't have had the family stresses so planning the wedding was stressful. They've never been so bad about anything else!

[Dontyoulovecalpol]

Hazel I didn't say anything about people taking more or less than 1 month

[hazeimcgee]

Dontyou i never said it was you. I triee to find tbe post i was responding to but its lost in the ether

[Luna2016]

Me and my DH booked out wedding on April 12th 2016 and got married June 18th 2016. we didn't tell anyone untill 3 weeks befor. Reason for that is when we tried to get married befor you get a lot of "how about/ why don't you". i know people tried to help but we booked everything with us in mind. If anyone didn't like the style/dress/venue, then that was there problem.