To not get how when you buy a wedding package from somewhere it's a years worth of work?

[feellikeahugefailure]

I'm probably being U, but i just dont see how a wedding is so much work.

You choose a package from a venue that does them every weekend. Pick who's coming and sitting where, the entertainment, photographer, go tasting to decide what to eat, flowers, dress. Sure its a few weekends of sorting stuff, but I don't see how people claim to have spent a year organising their wedding?

[welshweasel]

We got engaged end of November, booked the venue over Christmas, had everything else pretty much sorted by the middle of January, got married 4th April (which was a Saturday and bank holiday weekend). And yes we had bridesmaids, cake, a fabulous band, honeymoon, favours, rings, hair and make up artist etc. It takes sod all time to organise a wedding. Never understood the stress people put themselves through procrastinating over minutiae! Some people enjoy that sort of stuff though, no skin off my nose if people want to spend two years trailing round wedding fairs as long as they don't expect me to come.

[Oblomov16]

Ours took minimal organising: my mum did a cake, dh's closest friend lent us a limo. Etc. Can't see what all the fuss is all about.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

YAB Half U.

Popular wedding venues book up months, if not years in advance, so I can see why people set a date a year or more ahead. But YANBU about how long it can actually take to organise everything (again, depending on what and who you want to do stuff).

Our wedding took 7 weeks planning, start to finish - first step was checking when my BFF was free, cos I wasn't doing it without her, then everything else went from there. Venue wasn't first choice but it was available and it was nice, plus a good deal. Reg office only had a late morning slot free that day, so we had to plan the timing of our wedding day carefully! Dumped a lot of what I considered to be extraneous stuff (including bridesmaids and groomsmen), as we were on a pretty tight budget too. Friends helped out with cars and photography.

But you know what, it was all worth it and it worked. I have no regrets at all. Best Day Ever!

[sparechange]

I have absolutely no idea either

A woman who worked for me resigned after getting engaged so she could plan her wedding full time

Mine was quite big and fancy, but all in, the total hours of planning was under 24, spread over 3 or 4 months

[ComedyWing]

You're not being in the least U - the wedding industry exists to convince people that a wedding is some kind of massive organisational thing akin to doing the logistics for a Hundred Years' War. Mind you, I always imagine that the people who are most susceptible to the kind of nonsense peddled at 'Wedding Fayres' are the kind of ickle pwincesses who've been planning their Big Day since they were seven.

[AGruffaloCrumble]

All these threads turn into is people looking down their nose at people that want more than a registry office with some decorations thrown around. It's not wrong to want whatever you want for a wedding. We are getting married next August and I have venue, church, photographer and florist booked as otherwise the people I wanted would be booked up. It's not always a competition of who can care the least.

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

hazei well considering civil partnerships aren't available to everyone, marriage is the only option some people have to get some security for their affairs and assets.

I think it's just that some of us see it more as a marriage than an excuse for a hideously overpriced party.

I have nothing against parties, but you can get a shitload more for your money if you skip the penguin suit and meringue excuse, and just organise a belting party :o

[LunaLoveg00d]

It's like Christmas though, some of us want to get through December in the easiest way possible, others start in March planning their 10 course meal, their elf on the shelf "tricks" for each day of advent, presents for everyone they've ever met, enough food and drink to last until Easter, coordinated napkins, paper hats and tinsel, worry about their tree, whether to put lights up outside, where the best place is to see Santa and so on.

Some people just always seem the need to be planning something or organising something.

[myownprivateidaho]

Well, it's clearly not a year's worth of work in the sense that a fulltime job would be. But given that most people only have a few spare hours each week to dedicate to this kind of thing, it's not surprising that it takes a while. And of course as pps say, it depends how picky you are. If you're getting married in a different city to where you live, and you want to visit multiple venues/florists/cake makers/hairdressers etc, it's easy to see how that time can add up to spending every spare weekend going over and doing wedding stuff.

And even if you get a package, you still have to write a speech, get an outfit (and outfits for other members of the wedding party if you're matching), do the table plan (takes ages), sort out the bits that aren't included in the package (eg not just a DJ but also decks and speakers!), plan order of service, sort out accommodation for visiting family members, sort out teeth-whitening/facial/haircut/mani-pedi if you're vain.... It's not a fulltime job, but there's a fair old bit to do, even if you're not bride or groomzilla.

[ComedyWing]

All these threads turn into is people looking down their nose at people that want more than a registry office with some decorations thrown around.

Or maybe just offering a corrective to the kind of media wedding hysteria that suggests it's all a bit infra dig not to spend £20000, go on a year-long detox diet with your ten bridesmaids as you grow all the produce for the meal and all flowers for the bouquets and decorations and buttonholes, and knit wedding favours/personalised chaircovers for your 200 guests, and commission a composer to write you a sonata to walk up the aisle to?

If you want to throw a huge party, fine. But don't pretend it's a compulsory huge party without which no wedding is complete and that society/your family's expectations/the laws of the universe are making you do it. It's optional, that's all.

[Soon2bC]

Our wedding is in April, we found and booked the venue last year and it will be at easter so we made save the date cards and sent them already.
Handmade stationary etc is all printed and done and ready to send out. seating plan done at same time as guest list. We have probably spent about 24 hours on ours so far but that includes building our own candy bar from scratch, making and sourcing invitations place cards etc. and sewing our own bunting and kids goody bags. Nothing else to do now until a couple of months before the wedding when we will have a meeting with dj, photographer, venue and florist. Dress was an easy one as I bought online, I may need alterations but will find someone closer to the time when I know how big/small i have got.
I am not sure how long you are supposed to spend planning and organising but the thought of giving up work to do it full time has me laughing. I think even if i was having a massive wedding i would struggle to spend that much time on it!

[AGruffaloCrumble]

If you want to throw a huge party, fine. But don't pretend it's a compulsory huge party without which no wedding is complete and that society/your family's expectations/the laws of the universe are making you do it. It's optional, that's all.
Hence why I said some in my statement and said everyone should have the wedding they want. Calling people "princesses" and sneering at them as someone did upthread is just being a snob. I love low key weddings, I love big weddings. I work for a budget wedding company but I don't judge anyone for their choices or make nasty sneers at anyone about what they want.

[myownprivateidaho]

If you want to throw a huge party, fine. But don't pretend it's a compulsory huge party without which no wedding is complete and that society/your family's expectations/the laws of the universe are making you do it. It's optional, that's all. who has said that it's not optional?

[Anonymouses]

Wrong person to ask. I ordered a dress for me And bridesmaids (took a day) waited 3 months then booked venues organised catering, sorted flowers and booked a DH. 2 months after that I turned up... I reckon I spent 2-3 days max making calls and looking at stuff. Then again we didn't do big fuss.

[TheNaze73]

YANBU & YABU. I agree with your point however, some people love all that.

[hazeimcgee]

What grufalocrumble said

[AGruffaloCrumble]

To be fair, OP, I have a budget of 11k and it has still taken me maybe a few days of work to get venue, church, photographer and florist done and sorted. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself for the next year now. I am hand illustrating the invites though so that is maybe a few solid weeks of work. So even with a big wedding I don't know how it takes a year, minus the booking in advance. I'm free to sit pretty now until a few weeks beforehand.

[BirdintheWings]

ComedyWing, I do actually know someone who had a piece specially composed for the walk down the aisle! IIRC it was the composer's wedding gift to them.

[bombayflambe]

We booked our venue about 18 months in advance and I suppose we did start thinking about what we wanted at that point. It fitted in and around real life though. We even grew our own flowers so had enough time for a 'dry run' the year before etc. But we also managed to hold down full time jobs, run a home, 5 kids, elderly family etc.
If we had gone for one of those hotel packages where you just choose the menu from a choice of three and the colour of the sashes on the stretchy chair covers I think I'd have spent one day choosing and then not had to think about it again!

[hazeimcgee]

procrastinator whether its a civial partnership or a wedding, it's still for most people a celebratiom of their love, not just a legal process to make things easier if one of you dies. If that's the only reason you do it, fair enough but as gruffalo said, these things always tirn into belittlling of people who want more. My dress was def not a meringue, i'm def not a priness, we paid for all but £1500 of it ourselves, but we wanted a special day with alot of personal touches, not a legal piece of paper to sprt out our finances, or a generic wedding in a box. That somehow seems to make me gullable and ridiculous according to most posts of here

[neonrainbow]

Some people like the little details. Some people want a registry office wedding planned in a week. Some people like the middle ground. None is better than any of others.