I probably am aren't I..

[WasabiNell]

But I've been coming on the same family holiday since I was born. We're close knit, there's just my gran, mum, aunt, uncle, me and usually my brother and cousin come but haven't this year. My mum's cousin rocked up yesterday with his friend and now there's two strange middle aged men here and it's just making me feel so uncomfortable. I can't wander around braless or in my tiny pj shorts. I'm having to make fucking small talk and they're asking me about my job, career etc. I just wanted a week of chilling out and not have to think about work or make the effort with anything and I feel it's all ruined now . My Gran is acting like the fucking queen is here and flapping about all the meals and thinks she has to make loads of effort. AIBU? I just don't want them here!! As I type this my aunty is arranging days out to take them on because she feels like they need to be 'entertained'.. It's ridiculous!

Ps before I get flamed for being a bitch to them I'm not, I'm being charming and making small talk as is expected but inside I'm raging!

[QueenArseClangers]

Is he signing each toothpaste sample like autographing photos to hand out to you all?! 😄
Found out how long they're staying for?

[MotherofPearl]

I sympathise OP. The thing that would wind me up is the fussing about 'meals for the men'. This is always a thing in my family amongst women of my mother and grandmother's age: if a holiday or social event happens to be only female family members then everyone pitches with casual, basic cooking; if men are present then suddenly the older women start worrying about 'what the men will eat', 'sandwiches won't fill them up' etc etc! Why don't they just make it themselves then, I always wonder!

[KittensandKnitting]

Gin would be better 😜

[WasabiNell]

I have no idea Kittens but he did bring loads of these so it's not all bad I guess...

[KittensandKnitting]

How do you even get to befriend your dentist 🤔

Mine talks non-stop and I can't utter a word back

[TattyCat]

Op, you're getting it all wrong! The visitor is a dentist. You need some major working doing, don't you?!!! Dental treatment's expensive (even basic stuff), so perhaps you can make them beat a hasty retreat....

Just sayin'.

[AcrossthePond55]

Probably a shame, but you may need to find a new place to holiday. Once family starts inviting 'other family/friends' it seems to start down a slippery slope because if Gran can invite Cousin X this year, then next year Aunt will invite her SiL, then the year after Uncle will invite his fishing buddy…..you get my drift.

Unless everyone is able to sit down and draw up 'rules' for visitors (no overnights without consensus, day visits OK) then I have a feeling it's going to get worse.

I speak from experience. My family (my parents ,my siblings, & our children) rented a large beach house together each summer. It went fine for quite a few years then the 'Oh, I told (random other relative) it'd be fine if they came for the weekend/a few days' or 'BTW, asked if they could have a friend/their fuck buddy/their garage band to stay. I said it wouldn't be a problem' started. Ended up we stopped the 'family house' by mutual agreement and started renting smaller units near each other, but that petered out after a few years as it just wasn't the same. It was rather sad as it was the end of big, jolly, happy, sand-and-sea filled summers with those I love most.

[Beeziekn33ze]

I know celebs travel with hairdressers, personal trainers but his dentist??!!

[WasabiNell]

I like the sound of that Okay

[RaspberryOverload]

OP, YANBU, I don't think it's on that you expected a chill out holiday and now find yourself with strangers.

And I think your Gran an Aunty can let these people sort their own entertainment out. At the very least, they should be chipping in by helping prep AND paying for some of the food.

[Okay377]

Ha! YANBU, but YABU to be polite and charming all the time. Find someplace quiet to read with your bra off (top on) keep on going for hikes and just join them and put your bra on for meals and be polite and charming then

[WasabiNell]

That's exactly it Dinosaurs!! I am the youngest of the family and I think they forget I'm a fully functioning adult that has a job and lives alone. The amount of patronisation I get infuriates me. You're right and I'll have a quiet word with my mum tomorrow.

[KittensandKnitting]

Wassbi please don't nearly drown in the bath it's not just your tits braless that they will all see!!!

Army that made me choke on my drink!!

[DinosaursRoar]

YANBU - if you have paid partly for the holiday, you should have been consulted before additional guests were invited. If your gran/mum (whichever one invited them) wants to treat you like a child of the family who doesn't get a say over who is invited to join the group holiday, then you should have been treated like a child and not expected to pay for the house rental/share of food costs.

(Extended family who treat the younger generation of the family as kids when it suits then adults when it doesn't annoys me)

You should have a word to your mum alone, say you are upset that no one asked you before mum's cousin & friend were invited to join as you are expected to pay a share of the costs, you expect to be treated as having an equal say in who goes, it's not like your mum/gran is hosting all of you.

Doesn't have to be a big family argument, but you need to either say something or you won't want to go next year and your family tradition will end. Or arrange to go elsewhere next year and take control of the cottage booking, making sure there's only enough room for those you know are going...

[WasabiNell]

Hey OnePlan, no nothing sinister like that. His mum (gran's sister) is ill and they were discussing it on the phone one night and my Gran mentioned we were coming here in passing and I think it was just one of those things where he said he'd like to see insert holiday location and she kind of said well why don't you come and he jumped at the opportunity. Then invited his dentist! I think my family is a bit odd haha. Or maybe I'm the odd one!! Probably, it has been said on here before.

[OnePlanOnHouzz]

I get it - a family home in the UK that you all decamp to for a week with the family.... and now this somewhat distant family member has appeared with his friend... Could it be you don't know the whole story ?is this 'friend' looking to buy a holiday home for his family ? Is there more to this visit ? Ie the only time they ( assuming parents who own ?) can show him around ?!
The only reason I jump to that conclusion is it happens to a friend of mine - and she was blissfully unaware until it was too late and the family holiday home was sold . Ironically had she known she would have put the money up to keep the status quo.

[WasabiNell]

Hahahah fuck sake Army no my top is firmly on, for the good of everyone's eyes .

I'm actually pissing myself now! Kittens yeah it's going down far easier than it should. I should probably go eat something now because I'm starving. I'm fairly sure they wouldn't want to return next year if I got drunk in the bath and had to be rescued. Would be like some sort of whale rescuing mission

[ArmySal]

I was reading the replies thinking

"Does everyone else sit with their families, tits out? Why the hell is nobody mentioning it?!"

[KittensandKnitting]

It's because you have a dirty mind... I'm surprised I didn't read it as that tbh, can find something dirty in the most innocent of things usually

[ArmySal]

Totally different, God knows why but I read braless as topless

I actually agree with you, would piss me off too.

[KittensandKnitting]

Well I am somewhat glad you don't sit around with your boobs out in front of your granny

One of my greatest pleasures is wiping my bra off, but with whopping size E boobs I wouldn't be taking it off in front of people I didn't know very well :)

Hope you have a straw for that bottle of gin

[WasabiNell]

Hahaha Kittens . And thanks for understanding.

Army my immediate family that I've grown up with I feel comfortable not wearing a bra around. I still wear actual clothes and don't walk around naked. Two men I've never met before, no I don't feel comfortable braless. Same with the pj shorts I wear to lounge in. Ridiculously short but fine in front of family. Showing my cellulite ridden thighs to two men I've never met before, again makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't help the way I feel

[EarthboundMisfit]

I'd be pissed off too, but I'd get over it in the end!

[KittensandKnitting]

Well Army I may stand corrected when the OP comes back or maybe she will be letting them out after her G&T!!

[ArmySal]

Aah, yes, clearly my filthy mind...