to give my dc's some school work over the summer holidays

[justalittlelemondrizzle]

My dc's 7 & 8 break up for the summer this week and I've bought them some English and maths work books to do over the holidays.
I usually do print outs of things that have come up on their reports that they have struggled with and set them a fun project.
Most of the summer is going to be about them having fun and enjoying some downtime. They have lots of friends round our area who they enjoy playing with all the time. Is it wrong for me to get them to do some work a few days a week for maybe 45 minutes at a time so they don't slip behind.
They're pretty average. My eldest tries hard and is doing well ut got a working towards in maths on her report and my youngest is very lazy and that did show on her report this year with a few working towards when I know she is capable. Do other people do this or am I being a mean mummy?

[CremeEggThief]

Redhat, my 13 year old chooses to spend at least a day or 2 a week in bed all day on his laptop on holidays. He spends about a day every other weekend doing this in termtime Not my idea of fun or something worthwhile, but it is entirely up to him what he chooses to do with his time. He's come home with 'behind' in a few areas in his school report, such as a sub level where he was targeted, but again at his age, that's his business and up to him. We're talking about a bright boy, who is capable of getting mostly As and A☆ at GCSE, but unless he motivates himself, will probably get Bs and Cs with maybe 2 or 3 As. There is nothing anyone can do about it and it would be wrong and pointless to try to force him to revise or brush up on a few things over the summer months.

[CremeEggThief]

Ragwort, engrossed in anything they want to be, as long as it's not cruel or illegal. I feel strongly that adults have no right to dictate how teenagers spend most of their free time, and that applies to children to some extent, depending on other constraints.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

I've never done this myself in the past - perhaps because my now teenage DSs wouldn't have engaged with it at all & it was enough struggling to get them to do homework during term time without struggling in the holidays too.

However, my niece (7) had a huge slip backwards over the summer between Reception & Year 1, in terms of reading, writing & numeracy. DN was already a little behind some of her classmates (late August birthday & mild additional needs may have contributed), so the slip back was very difficult for her to catch up at the start of Year 1. Because of this DSIL & DB did keep up some degree of school work over the summer last year - between Years 1 & 2. Nothing too pressured or demanding but it really did help. Not only did DN not slip back over the summer but her reading, writing & spelling actually improved a bit.

I am now considering doing the same with DD (finishes Reception today). She is also an August baby so still 4. Part of me is thinking "for heaven's sake she's 4 years old & has already done 2 years at school. She needs a break." The other part is saying "she's worked so hard & learnt so much this year, it would be a real shame for her to slip back much."

[noblegiraffe]

Having seen how much my Y2 DS forgot over previous holidays (his handwriting in particular was appalling at the end) we will definitely be doing regular handwriting practice, and maths. He reads every day out of choice and likes doing puzzles from his Lego magazines so there'll be that too.

He likes school, and is not looking forward to the long holidays so a bit of routine will do him good.

[SisterViktorine]

I disagree with you CremeEgg I think parents need to set out high expectations of a strong work ethic- I do not think all children will develop this naturally. I think you run the risk of your DS underachieving just because you haven't made it clear that hard work is what you expect.

As others have said, a fraction of the day spent working doesn't mean kids can't spend a huge amount of time on unstructured play- which I completely agree is essential.

[NotMyMoney]

I do this with my DC they spend most of the holidays having fun and learning how to do things they don't learn at school. This holiday they'll be learning woodwork and hopefully will have a mini fenced off garden all of their own with a raised flower/vegetable bed. My DC will be writing books about most days out keeps their writing neat and DC1 hates writing complete with drawings and maths but they ask for maths even in term time.

[redhat]

creme forgive me for not being convinced by your post that my bright motivated 9 and 11 year olds should stop what they're doing and spend a day or two a week in bed on their laptop .

[Greenyogagirl]

Creme you've basically just told us that if we let our kids do what they want they'll not do as well at school and spend days in bed on the laptop. I don't see that as a positive at all. I don't think you can force your child to do anything but you can actually parent them to help give them the best opportunities.

[Ditsy4]

No, the next teacher will thank you. They forget such a lot over the holidays. Also do lots of practical skills. Maths weighing ingredients to make a cake. Work out the time and set timer. Measuring if any gardening( sunflowers) and work out distance and estimate times for trips out or holiday travel. Look at bus and train time tables ( often foxes them in exams) and any other practical maths. English why not enter some competitions on line. Usually lots of writing comps. Local shows. My kids used to love entering and there would be art, baking, D&T, hand writing. They only won about 50p but it was lovely to have that coloured card to keep. So yes but intersperse with lots of practical and they won't know they are doing it!

[PrincessWizard]

DS is the one of mine who will most definitely slip backwards if things are not kept up over the summer, he's only just keeping up as it is. He's also the most reluctant when it comes to any reading or school work. Both girls are very self motivated and actively enjoying learning.

The quality of the teaching DS has received this year hasn't been the best and although we've done work at home with him he's still only just meeting targets which concerns me as i know he is capable of more.

They will all still get hours and hours to play and 'be kids' and do their own thing. We've got lot of activities planned, some educational some not but all fun. They will have a lovely summer, it's hardly going to be ruined by doing around 20 minutes a day of learning is it?

[Puppymouse]

My Dad used to set me stuff like this. He bowled up with a book called "Teach Yourself Ancient Greek" when I was off for the summer around GCSE age because he thought it would be useful for me alongside the Latin he made me do. I used to get bollocked for watching TV and "sitting around" and all I can remember is dreading those bloody holidays every year. If I wasn't being set homework he was trying to "better" me in some other way like work experience or reading the classics.

We get on well now but I am very average in a good but not high management job and I look back at some of it and feel very emotional. I would never want my DD to feel like this. Don't give them homework. Let them just be kids and forget about it for a few weeks.

[noblegiraffe]

There's a big difference between a bit of handwriting practice for a primary school kid and teaching yourself Ancient Greek!

[katemiddletonsnudeheels]

No, there isn't really giraffe. Not when it's hammered into you and you can't relax.

[noblegiraffe]

Who on earth on this thread is advocating hammering stuff into their kids and not letting them relax? No one.

[katemiddletonsnudeheels]

Because when you are turning your child's time away from education into something educational, you are hammering schoolwork into them.

It was actually counter productive for me.

[noblegiraffe]

kate it really depends on how you approach it isn't it? Taking a kid to the natural history museum is educational but also fun. That's not hammering.

My DS actually likes doing sheets of sums. Also not hammering.

It's a shame that anything educational is regarded as boring and not for children by some.

[Greenyogagirl]

So giving them half an hours work to do and letting them relax for over 10 hours is damaging and turning them away from education? I'm surprised anyone makes it in the workplace if that's the case.

[Artandco]

I must be really mean. Mine have had ' teaching' every day since they were tiny babies. It's what you as an adult do to help them progress.

At 3 months old that might be twice a day for 5 minutes giving them time on tummy to strengthen muscles

At 1 year that's teaching them how duplo goes together. But by 18 months you are showing them the yellow brick, and red brick as well, to build knowledge on what they already know. You teach how to look at books nicely and turn pages and see pictures

At 10 years it's harder, but you still try and progress on and update knowledge and keep standards from slipping. Climbing a slide at 1, progresses to building a treehouse and how now at 10. Those picture books have progressed to Harry Potter

I'm an adult, I still enjoy taking in new information and learning new things, I can't imagine I will every stop.

[CremeEggThief]

Green, I am saying that is their right as teenagers and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I don't particularly like how DS chooses to spend most of his free time, but it is up to him and as long as it's not cruel or illegal, there is nothing anyone can do. If you have younger children, just wait and see. I kept DS away from computers until he was 7; made him do lots of extra-curricular activities from 3; took him to museums, art galleries, libraries, theatres, cinemas, EH and NT properties frequently from birth; ensured he had lots of quality outdoor time (adventure playgrounds, parks, woods, beaches, nature reserves, etc.) and always set an exam as an avid reader around him, and yet as a teenager, he chooses to spend most of his free time on his laptop or phone, often lazing in bed. So it certainly is not down to lack of ambition, encouragement or high expectations.

That said, two of our outings on our current holiday of eleven days are to cultural/historical places of interest and we always have a few outings of this sort every long holiday, so I suppose some of our time is not just up to DS doing whatever he wants. He has also chosen to download a language app and is teaching himself some German every day on holidays.

[Totalshambles]

I cannot understand why people say this is mean. Learning isn't a chore. It's a good thing. And kids should not think that work is hard or boring or that doing it is a punishment or anything else negative- which comments like 'mean' suggest some do. It's just normal. You just do it. You enjoy it and you expect that life is about learning. And this way you develope a healthy attitude towards education.

Maybe those that think it's mean also think it's ok to describe school as 'boring' or dismiss maths as hard. In the description 'mean' is an inherent assumption that, for example watching tv instead would not be 'mean' but why?!

I do expect my kids to do some stuff and they do it happily. Half an hour a day they could spend watching tv instead? And get what from that? They can still have that time if they want it. They play. We do lots of other stuff. And this is a short part of the day that's just expected. I don't understand at all why anyone would say it's mean?

[dangermouseisace]

YANBU. I'm a 'not doing any schoolwork in the holidays' kind of parent but I've just spent a fortune on books. DS1 is taking the 11+ the first week back, and the other 2 have nagged me to get them 'test' books as well as they could see DS1 doing work with me and wanted to get in on the action. Now we all do stuff together for a bit most days. They actually enjoy it. I think it's good for them- I don't think I'd force them to do work they really didn't enjoy though. The holidays are an opportunity for the kids to get some concentrated attention from you academically as well as socially/playing and what you are suggesting sounds quite sensible. You've taken your kids school reports and instead of going 'oh they just can't do it' you are being positive and saying that they need to do a bit of catch up work. That is a really important value that you are instilling in your children- the idea that intelligence isn't fixed, that they have the power to improve themselves.

I'd say go for it. I've told DS2 already that he IS going to go back to school with beautiful handwriting as at the moment it is unintelligible, and is holding him back.

[diamondlilly]

I can't comment on this from experiences as a parent as I'm only expecting my first, but I'd have hated any kind of formal learning during holidays when i was that age. I preffered playing imaginary games by myself or with friends, and parents never let me stress because I was behind the others in reading, writing and maths. Because I didn't worry about that, I just read for pleasure, and wrote letters and silly stories and diaries. My best friend had education sheets and music practice. She was a lot more stressed but at that age a lot further ahead at school than me. We both got exactly the same a-level results (including both getting a-grade maths), we both went into the same careers. In fact now I earn slightly more than her. I'm personally very grateful my parents didn't try this stuff on me, I'd have been miserable to think they cared that I wasn't doing as well as others at school, or to be called 'lazy'. Playing and being bored is great for developing internal resources, its ok to not be stimulated sometimes. www.nytimes.com/2016/01/31/opinion/sunday/how-to-raise-a-creative-child-step-one-back-off.html

[bananafish]

Seems OK to me. My 10 yr old has to do an hour a day, and the younger ones have to do something - even the 4 yr old.

It is a struggle with my eldest - he really doesn't like it and finds it hard, but that's even more of a reason to persevere. His teachers set him work over the summer and asked us to ensure that he does it in order not to fall behind. So, I'm assuming that there is a benefit for him in doing it.

[Passthecake30]

I'm going to spend the afternoon producing a timetable for mine, just 20-30mins per day (apart from on hols), this is because my son has low self esteem about how he is compared to his classmates and gets stressed out on the return back to school....so this is to prevent that, he knows this and is quite willing to follow my suggestions in order to improve

[ppeatfruit]

YES EXACTLY diamondlily It IS mean and unnecessary.