I think my friend overreacted

[Mrswelshcacen]

So I was standing on a chair cleaning the kitchen cupboards earlier on this week and DH was running around messing about with our youngest and he ran into the chair. The chair and I both went flying and I hit the tile floor really hard and to cut a long story short I have broken my wrist and sprained my ankle, my hip is also really bruised and swollen as well. It still really hurts however it was an accident.

DH feels awful about it and has been trying really hard to make it up to me because he feels awful.
He took a couple of days off work to help with the DCs but he had to go back today so I asked me friend if she would look after the youngest today.
When I asked her to help I told her briefly that I had fallen off a chair. I didn't go into anymore detail as it was over text which I tend to keep brief and I figured I would just tell her the story in person.

So she came over and took the youngest out for a bit and when she came back she asked me how it happened so I told her honestly.
She started getting upset and said she couldn't believe that I was still with DH and if her husband hurt her like that she would leave. I explained again that it was an accident and DH was very sorry about it. She said that I was just covering for him. I tried to explain myself again but she kept saying that she didn't believe me and I deserved better.

She then walked out of the house and came back saying she had called DH and our stories didn't match up. I asked her what he had said but she wouldn't tell me. She then told me that she was going to call the police if anything like this happens again and she walked out again.

DH came back about an hour later from work early really upset saying friend had called him and gave him a mouthful saying he was abusive and she was calling the police on him as I had told her that he hurts me all the time.

I have tried calling her since then but she won't answer but she has called two mutual friends telling them she was worried about me. But not mentioning why so they have then called me to check on me. One friend thinks this is ridiculous drama. However the other mutual friend agrees with friend and thinks DH lied to me about it being an accident.

I texted friend and asked her to talk to me as whilst I no she cares about me it has become a bit over-the top and I didn't really need a lot of drama at the moment. She text back saying that she was not over reacting. She also got mutual friend to text me saying that she agreed with friend.

So AIBU to think that friend is really overreacting. I'm really worried that she will call the police over this and that they may side with her.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

Gabs yy you are completely right. It's the opposite of all the advice on how to deal with DV but as a PP said if the friend knew a little about DV (but not a lot and not in a professional capacity) then she might think abusers flourish in silence and calling him out strips away a layer of the pretence.

Sadly if it was a DV case all its likely to do is make the DH angry and make him put pressure on his victim to both recant her story, reiterate his version and isolate herself from that vocal support network.

However once someone has taken the foolhardy step to confront an abuser, for some DV victims it would light a teeny tiny spark of hope that they would be believed and that they would have support to leave.

But no-one here is undermining the OP. Indeed it would be impossible to undermine her- she's the only one here who knows what happened.

[GabsAlot]

but say she is concerned and doesnt belive op isnt being abused

how does phoning up dh ranting about it help the op?

its jsut something u dont do if u believe someone is being abused it can make them takeit out oj their partner

if anything i think shes a drama queen who cant live without being involved in something

[SylvieB74]

She's a shit stirring (probably jealous) cow. Does she fancy your husband? Or just want you to be not so happily married?

[GarlicStake]

People aren't undermining OP's story, dybil, they're trying to see whether there's more to it.

I must admit my first and second reactions were "friend is barking!" Third thought was "But why did she do that?" I wondered whether she's hypervigilant having been physically abused herself, or perhaps having recently done a course on DV. Then I wondered why the other friend was going along with it.

The two most likely explanations are: [a] both friends are barking, or [b] they have concerns about the balance of power in OP's marriage.

Either way, the pair of them having a go at DH is ridiculous.

Hope you heal up soon, welsh.

[MidniteScribbler]

Your 'friend' is a total dickhead. If this had been domestic violence, what did she think was likely to happen by confronting your husband? Fucking idiot.

[dybil]

Wish I was surprised at the amount of people trying to undermine the OP's account, but it seems to happen in a lot of threads.

I appreciate its likely coming from a place of concern, and this thread is a fairly mild example, but frankly it can come across a bit like gaslighting.

[peggyundercrackers]

Stop trying to justify yourself OP, some people on here try and pull every little detail of a post apart to try and prove they are right.

Accidents happen and it's OK to play with kids and chase them and stuff - yes accidents happen and no people aren't really idiots for playing with their kids in the house - it's called fun.

[UmbongoUnchained]

Well it's happened to me so not that unthinkable. And knocking someone off a chair is so easily done.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

No-one has said accidents don't happen. They do. What doesn't tend to happen is that your DH causes it and two of your friends jump to the conclusion that you're being abused. That isn't that common at all.

[sallyjane40]

Your friend sounds a bit of a drama queen, and as tho she may be jealous of your DH and wanting to stir up trouble (and grab lots of attention from anyone who'll listen to her).
It's reasonable to double check that someone is really ok, and that there isn't something else they want to say about how an injury happened, but what she's doing doesn't seem at all respectful, and she's basically saying she doesn't believe anything you tell her. If I were you, that would really annoy me!

[RebelRogue]

No one was expected to do anything.friend was asked if she would.she could've said no.
And ffs you're all acting as if you,your kids or your partners never did anything stupid in your lives that ended up in an injury.

[aussiecita]

So your friends are expecting to jump in to look after a situation that he created through idiocy? Nice one.

Also agree that there could easily be much more to this than what you're saying here.

And to Pseudonym, what a dipshit remark to say based on absolutely nothing in the OP's posts. So much for the friend being the dramatic one!

[UmbongoUnchained]

You don't need to justify yourself OP.
Accidents happen, and this sounds like a totally plausible accident.

[Mrswelshcacen]

Sorry if it wasn't clear
He wasn't running after her he was running around to try and catch her out whilst she wasn't facing him.
She as additional needs which is why she is not verbal not because she's a baby or anything.

[shinynewusername]

So your child is pre-verbal, yet your DH was running fast enough behind her to completely knock you off a chair?

I have the same concerns about this thread as lightdrizzle. I hope I am wrong. Please PM me if you need help.

[Beeziekn33ze]

Your 'friend' is so out of order. Hope you are soon over your fall, I'm feeling sorry for you and for DH. 💐

[Mrswelshcacen]

He was messing around trying to catch the youngest out by running up behind her. He does it quite a bit with all the DCs though I don't think it will happen again now.

DH has a job were taking time off is difficult and inconvenient. He has already booked all his holidays. So the days he took off were impacted and it was agreed that it would be better for him to go in if we could find some on to help with the youngest.

[JackieAndHyde4eva]

he probably won't do it again.

probably??

[Zarah123]

I'm sorry, OP, but I am angry at your husband in your behalf. Why was he running around near you, and at such a speed that he slammed into you and caused you to fall and break your bones?

Why has he only taken 2 days off work, does he not have more annual leave he could take? Why has it fallen to you to sort out childcare in his absence?

I would be furious if this was my DH, even if it was an accident. He behaved like an uncontrollable child. You seem to have taken it really well...too well I think.

[Mrswelshcacen]

Don't get me wrong DH was being an idiot running around the house and he probably won't do it again. But it was an accident and whilst I was annoyed initially accidents happen he didn't mean to do it. He has been trying to make it up to me and he is really upset about it.

My youngest is nonverbal so she won't have said anything to worry friend (not that there was anything to say)

[Unicorntrainer]

Firstly I hope you feel much better soon! 💐

What in the name of baby Jesus made her think she had any right to call your DH and threaten him with the police when you had quite clearly explained to her how the accident happened. And to then spread her neurotic notions amongst your.friends???

I agree with pp, she has history and issues that you are not aware of . She owes you both a massive apology. Get well soon OP and hope you have alternative support while your DH is at work.

[228agreenend]

It's good that friend cares, but its a huge over-reaction, unless dh has form for being controlling, abusive etc, but from what you say it doesn't seem like that.

I don't know how to calm things down either, apart from texting all the friends and reiterating that it was an accident, and they'll have to accept this, and you accept that DH is not malicious.

Unfortunately, accidents do,happen (in got,hit by my son with a basketball yesterday. That hurt for a while).

[MrsJoeyMaynard]

Unless you've got a history of appearing with potentially suspicious injuries that happened around your DH, accusing him of hurting you deliberately is an extreme conclusion to jump to and an overreaction.

Plus, as pp say, if she really does believe he hurt you deliberately, her actions would have been unhelpful at best and dangerous at worst - calling an abusive man up like that could well lead to him taking it out on his partner.

[midlifehope]

your dh was being a bit silly doing horseplay in the kitchen - I'd have been a bit pissed off, how come you're so forgiving?

[peggyundercrackers]

Your friend isn't looking out for you, she's stirring things between you and your DH and for some reason trying to turn other friends against your DH.

Ditch her!