to think she's not eating enough?

[happylittlefish]

Dd13 is quite skinny and very small for her age. She's really active but I'm convinced she's not eating enough. Yesterday she had

• 2 weetabix with milk
• Chicken sandwich, apple
• Salmon fillet, rice, broccoli

She complains of being hungry but doesn't eat anything except her meals.
What do your kids eat? How can I ensure she eats enough?

[MadSprocker]

Sounds fab.

[happylittlefish]

The past few days have been much better. Today she's had:

• porridge, banana
• tomatoes, carrot sticks, hummus
• chicken salad, orange
• cornflakes with milk

Is having fish, potatoes & veg for tea

[gruffalo13]

If she's restricting at all I would be concerned at this age.

[happylittlefish]

But yes, I'll try and include her more in prepping meals

[happylittlefish]

Yes I do prepare the meals - it is a lot easier than having 8 kids wandering around the kitchen!
As pp said I think she may be limiting her own food due to her sisters situation, and I'll have a talk to her about it. Thanks for replies again 😊

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Eating disorders are often about being in control so it might help to let your daughter chose some foods to put on your shopping list, and to allow her to prepare some meals for herself.

[PrincessHairyMclary]

Definetly yes about coaches talking to her and possibly approach from a "if you don't fuel your body properly you won't perform as well" direction.

You sound like you are doing a fab job. Do you prepare her meals, you could always hide some extra high calorie foods in with her meals such as seeds and nuts with her weetabix etc. flax seeds are really good and if you buy them ground up she wouldn't know she was eating them. Green smoothies are very popular at the moment or smoothie bowls topped with fruit and stuff. Or ice cream made from frozen bananas.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

When I was 12 yrs old, my older sister had anorexia and had started some counselling, everyone in the family was very worried about her, she was under a lot of stress with her exams.
I started limiting my own food. Partly because I felt I wanted some attention in my large family, partly because my older sister and I were quite competitive and as also, as you have mentioned, food became such a huge issue in our house with a lot of focus on what we were all eating.

I wonder if your Dd feels the same? She may be feeling under some pressure about her upcoming sporting events as well and thinks losing weight is one thing she can do to be more successful.

[specialsubject]

Twisted perception of ' healthy' , possibly due to peers talking babble, toxic TV and magazines and celeb nonsense ( remember what paltrow boasted about doing to her kids due to ignorance)

Healthy is not starving. No food is unhealthy.people need food in the right proportions and right amounts. Children need more than adults. Hope she can see this.

[sleepwhenidie]

Wimbledon is the perfect opportunity to illustrate the point, observe the players taking on fuel (usually dates/bananas) to keep their performance up

[bananapeanut]

This sounds like what I ate every day when I had anorexia, almost to the letter.

I ate quite "a lot" for an anorexic

Maybe keep careful eye OP?

[happylittlefish]

Yes, I think I'll have a word with her coaches to see if they can encourage her to eat more. She does quite a lot of sport so really does need to eat more. Thanks for all replies so far 😊

[RubbleBubble00]

What about her coaches. Cousins coaches encouraged them to eat lots of protein. Or perhaps dietician too help her with her diet to show the type of foods she needs to be eating to fuel her body for sport. Explaining she won't be able to compete very well if she hasn't eaten enough or the right foods

[Benedikte2]

Maybe encourage her to eat cheap protein like eggs which are healthy and sustaining. Maybe Google good food for athletes and explain to her she needs food which will help her maintain her endurance.
Seems like you are doing a great job with such a large family with conflicting needs!

[TheOnlyColditz]

Maybe her sports coaches could talk to her about what they expect her to be eating? It's a good healthy diet but if she's hungry she needs more and that is that. Her appetite is not her enemy, I wonder if she understands this?

[happylittlefish]

And just to add, she is very supportive of her sister and encourages her to eat. I think she's too busy trying to help others than to help herself sometimes

[PridePrejudiceZombies]

It would be fine for a sedentary adult, very healthy. For a very active teenager who is presumably still growing, it's not a great deal unless the portions are big. If she's feeling hungry, that might be a sign she needs more, though I agree with a pp lots of teens do go through phases of eating not much. I'd encourage her to have some form of proteiny snack when she's hungry. Or even something like a banana. Emphasise that she could add a bit more food and still be eating extremely healthily.

[happylittlefish]

She's been eating this way for about a week because she has lots of sporting events coming up and wants to be healthy for them. By eating healthier, she's eating less. When she's hungry, I tell her to eat but she says she's fine. I'm going to have a talk with her explaining that its fine to eat when you're hungry and so on

[Noonesfool]

Has twin sister had some support about her sister's eating? It must throw up some issues for her? Her diet sounds very controlled.

You have a lot on your plate OP - sounds like you're doing a fab job.

It's good that your girl with the ED is doing so well, hope that continues.

[TheRoadToRuin]

You have more experience with feeding teenagers than the majority of MN happy !

It sounds like the diet for an adult who is trying to lose weight. It doesn't sound enough for a growing 13 year old. I think you need to tell her you are worried and explain how important it is to eat well during puberty and that it's it isn't actually healthy to eat too little.

[Witchend]

That is more than dd1 eats in a day usually, and she's fine. It's also healthier than dd1.

What do you say when she says she's hungry? Do you offer stuff or tell her to wait till the next meal?

[ThePigeon314]

That is like what i eat. My dd two inches taller than i am a stone lighter and eats like a horse. She is 13.
So never attempts to 'resist' hunger!!
Is your dd resisting hunger :-/

[happylittlefish]

It is a busy house!! Only ds14, the 13 yo dd's and ds9 are biologically mine, the rest are fostered/adopted 😊

Yes, she is currently receiving help for her ED. We have a dietician and a counsellor and so far is doing very well - its her twin sister that's the current problem with food.

I feel no problems around food (apart from the cost!!). We eat mostly healthy through the week, have some junk at weekends, get takeaways on special occasions etc. I have quite a laidback approach to it all.

[Noonesfool]

That sounds really difficult OP. Busy house, too! 😮

What kind of support are you getting for this? Is your daughter still working with someone re her ED?

How do you feel about food?

[happylittlefish]

Yes, food is a huge issue at the moment. I've got ds16, dd16, ds14, 2 dd's13, dd12, ds11 and ds9. The 3 eldest eat absolutely loads, one dd13 with an ED, the other not eating enough, dd12 underweight atm, and ds's 11 & 9 are going through growth spurts.
We don't usually have 'treats' often and all the kids are healthy, but I have started buying nuts, trail mix, dried fruit, avocados, full fat dairy etc. Food is so much of an issue in our house at the moment.