...to think that raising a dog is brilliant training for raising a kid??

[Sheilasfeels]

So me and DH are trying for a baby. We have a two year old dog. Basically I'm pretty sure that I've got this whole parenting thing sussed now and raising a child will be a walk(ies) in the park. How do I know? Let's look at the evidence:

Cleaning up poo - check
Being woken up at 6 a.m. to play a game - check
Me and DH not having sex because the dogs asleep in the middle of the bed - check

AIBU or am i basically a parenting expert right now?

[Just5minswithDacre]

You could turn this into a much more useful dry-run, you know.

Start taking the dog everywhere with you, even the loo and changing rooms. Get a dog buggy to assist with this and discover how many steps there still are in the world. Assume that if you leave the dog alone for even five minutes it will find a way to cause itself a fatal injury. Last but not least, set an alarm to wake it up three times a night

You could BLOG about this!

[DementedUnicorn]

OP I feel your pain. Since I got my DD(dog) 5 years ago I decided I definitely don't want kids.

[Strokethefurrywall]

Jaysus - I found life with an 8 week old puppy a million times harder than life with a newborn.

Ddog1 cried all night for about 3 weeks, wanted to pee at intervals of every 90 minutes from the hours of midnight and 6am and was seriously the most exhausting creature on earth.

DS1 was a fecking breeze in comparison 😁

[Lovelydiscusfish]

My friend got a puppy recently (have only ever had adult dogs myself) and her experience genuinely sounded way harder than mine with a newborn human. All the nighttime waking, cleaning up poo and sick, and other rubbish, but at least with an human baby you are genetically programmed to love them, AND they don't chew your phone charger, AND they grow into a rational, speaking, funny human being much sooner than you think.
Plus, the walking! To be fit and happy, most dogs require endless hours of walking. With children, you just take them to the playground for an hour, and play a half-arsed game of Paw Patrol while actually browsing the internet on your phone. With snacks, it is possible to drag this out forever.
So, OP, though you may think you are joking, I actually think your post is truer than you know!

[Ilikedogs]

Well... I think it's pretty similar up till about toddler years! (ds is 2) just on a shorter time scale.
I use treats for the dog... Stickers for the child and invariably end up whistling and saying 'come' at them both.
Plus they are now best friends!

[Sceptimum]

I've honestly found that the same training and settling methods work on my dog and my toddler - some routine, clear expectations and boundaries, lots of playtime and exercise, and when all else fails, treats!

[pandarific]

I'm with you OP - I know people with dogs, it's essentially like having a three year old as far as I can see.

I have two kittens arriving on Saturday. I am going to be an excellent parent after this.

[ShtoppenDerFloppen]

I thought the same thing as OP.

So... when my first child was born, I got him a crate to train him when I wasn't home and left him behind, bought him a fabulous collar and even looked into having him microchipped.

Apparently, they aren't similar at all...

[Sheilasfeels]

Thanks for all the replies! I can now see i was at least 70% right in my assumptions!

Interesting coments about crating. The dog is not a fan of us trying for a baby but he said if we do then it has to start off sleeping in the dog bed in the kitchen and work his way up to sleeping at the end of our bed, just like he did.

I imagine one of the good points of having a kid is being able to take it into shops without having to pretend its an assistance child.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

We had two cats before the children and people shook their heads at me pityingly and said 'I think you'll find it's rather different' in a patronising tone when I suggested that it was excellent child training.

5 years and 2 children later, I stand by my comment. There's piss and shit and irritating small mammals WHINING at you all the fucking time. At least the human small mammals learn to talk, that's a bonus, but it takes so bloody long and you're not allowed to openly joke about putting them up for adoption in the interim because people get face.

At least you can openly whinge about it being hard when you have cats/dogs; with kids you're meant to maintain a rictus grin and persist in gushing about how fab they are even when they've just set fire to your handbag. The little scamps.

So yeah, I'm with you op

[tinymeteor]

at assistance child!

We got our dog shortly before having DD. Looking back I can't remember exactly why it seemed worth giving up my last 6 months of a shit-picking-up-free life. It did help prepare me for living in a house where everything is slightly grubby, so that's good.

[HostaFireandIce]

You're not far wrong, but unfortunately you've done it the wrong way round. We had the small child and THEN the dog. I'd read all this stuff about how hard it is to have a puppy, but after the child, a piece of cake!

[AppleSetsSail]

If you had the worst dog in the world, it still wouldn't prepare you for motherhood. Sorry.

[Greyhorses]

I have the worst dog in the world. It's naughty, hates everything, needs a special diet 5 times a day, sheds hair and wakes me up at 5am. I also hand reared her and fed her hourly for 6 weeks.

Still, baby is much harder

[Laiste]

My DH works with a guy who honestly believes he totally knows what it's like to be a parent because he has two dogs.

DH used to find it quite funny. Now our youngest has got to the terrible two's and this bloke tells DH that his weekend was just as exhausting because one of the dogs chewed a piece of paper (for eg) - not so much.

[Oysterbabe]

A newborn is basically like a tamagotchi. Things get a bit more challenging after that.

[Trills]

It's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk...

[Hoppinggreen]

Well my dog has never told me that her new school uniform is disgusting and she looks fat in it and everyone will hate her and I've ruined her life so in that respect, my dog is much easier.

[Cosmomouse]

On another spin though, I have learnt from having 2 very 'spirited' dogs (yes, 1 is a lab!) that patience, positive reinforcement is key, and I find this easier to apply to DS when he is being a little horror! I have very rarely lost my temper and think I would have more if I didn't have the dogs.

I know it's lighthearted op but just my 2p worth!

[MissHooliesCardigan]

Dogs don't have play dates.
Dogs don't want to play sport or have dancing lessons.
Dogs don't have Parents' evenings.
Dogs don't invite other dogs over for sleepovers.

[NedStarksHead]

Kids ruin your life.

Get all the dogs in the world & no kids.

[Mommawoo]

Are you a Labrador?

Children are a breeze compared to a Labrador.

Yy to this!

Dp has a friend who came to visit us while we were staying in a camping park in Greece and asked us this same question. He had his dog with him. After a while, he asked if we could watch his dog for an hour.

He tied the dog to a tree, then walked off without leaving her food or water in 40 degree heat. We fed and watered her and later brought her inside our camp when he still hadnt returned after 5 hours.

He eventually woke us up at about 2am stumbling about in the dark trying to find her. I hope to god he learns some responsibility before he actually has kids.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

It IS like having a dog that slowly learns to talk. Although maybe that's just my two specimens.....

[NeedACleverNN]

I've always thought the best way to rear a child is to treat them like a dog.

Regular walks outside, strict firm commands that are clear what you want from them "no put down that book" instead of "no don't do that"

Regular food and water.

Regular attention

Perfect

[Auti]

I used to have 5 dogs, walk in the park they were compared to my DD.

Sorry YABU :)