To think it's perhaps a conflict of interest for children to attend schools where parents are teachers

[purplemoonlight]

Please don't anyone take this as a personal slight.

I am aware there may be a lack of suitable schools, especially in rural areas, and some independent schools offer a discount on fees.

However, I can't help but think on the whole it's not in the best interest of the child.

My mum was a teacher at my secondary school. I transferred there in year 9 after the bullying at the initial secondary I attended didn't show any signs of abating. In hindsight, it was the worst thing we could have done. The relationship between us was intense and stifled, she knew too much about me and I knew too much about her!

It was the 'usual' things - awkwardness about boyfriends, awkwardness about any misbehaviour of mine being reported back to her (very mild things but still) personal questions, difficulty with friends and home visits/sleepovers - but also, and harder to articulate, I feel as if in some ways it squashed me down and made it harder to properly 'grow up.' That could just have been my mum though.

However, with the intenseness about safeguarding, it does put teachers and pupils in a yet still more awkward position.

AIBU to think it's not quite appropriate?

[corythatwas]

but OP, that is still your personal experience

my personal experience was totally different, doesn't make it any less valid

[practy]

At my school the Headteachers two DCs went there, I felt sorry for them as the other kids did treat them differently because of that. I wasn't friends with them, but I also would not have wanted to go to a sleepover at my Headmasters house.

[BabyGanoush]

I have this to come, and I understand your doubts about whether it is a good idea....I have those doubts.

DS wanted to go to the school where my DH teaches. he'll be starting in September.

The only reasons I allowed him to choose this school instead of the catchment comp are:

• both DS and DH are "big" personalities who would take any comments of nepotism/teasing on the chin or joke about it.
  

• It is the most academic school int he area, DS is academic, he will probably thrive there. The school seems like a good fit for him.
  

• The school is massive, he may never have DH as his teacher.
  

Also, I am planning to have a serious sit-down chat with DH that he must keep any comments he gets about DS from other teachers to himself or else DS will feel under too much scrutiny! That is tyeh biggest downside I can think off.

Right now both DS and DH seem quite excited about the prospect.

Wish us luck...

[Noodledoodledoo]

BabyGanoush I survived with very little problems, I had both parents at school - one primary one secondary.

From experience of it working the best (am now a teacher as well so can see it from both sides), DH needs to detach from being a parent at school - so not asking about DS's behaviour, ignoring staff who want to 'have a friendly' chat, and if he can try and get any issues directed to you.

DS needs to treat him as any other teacher, not expect special favours, act like Dad isn't even there. ie not getting him to sort things during the day which he would normally have to deal with overnight, not spending time in his classroom when its a bit wet and rainy!

I was taught by both of my parents, with my Dad at secondary I couldn't bring myself to call him 'sir, or Mr xxx' so I avoided using his name or it was Oi! It worked for us. The whole of my A level class called him Oi by the end of the 2 years!!!

[practy]

Did the other children treat you differently though? This is what I saw at my secondary school with the Headmasters two kids?

[2catsnowaiting]

I went to the school where my dad was head, and there was several other children of teachers there. It wasn't a big deal. I was also taught by my dad for one subject, as were other kids taught by their own parents sometimes.
Don't think it caused any problems with nepotism, positive or negative, or with safeguarding. Must happen all the time in small village schools.

[2catsnowaiting]

It also meant that my friends knew my dad as "2cats' dad" as well as Mr Headteacher. Again, never caused any problems. I also was taught by both my boyfriend's parents when I was in 6th form.

I suppose you just learn that you behave differently in different circumstances, something we all learn at some point. Eg if you are good friends with your boss, you don't chat about that time they got drunk and threw up when you're in a meeting with other senior managers. In the same way, I understood that while my dad might tickle me at home, or I might sit on his lap, neither of those things were appropriate or would happen while we were in school.

[BabyGanoush]

Noodle, yes that is good advice and how I'd envisage it.

[Noodledoodledoo]

No - never really treated differently from the people I would have been bothered about. To be fair those who did would have done it the same anyway as they did the same to my friends as well without teachers as parents.

As others have said it was quite common, we were in a fairly rural school with no other option so I was one of many students with parents as teachers/staff.

However I now teach in a school in a town with 6 secondary schools and we still have a lot of staff's children at the school and I don't think it causes any issues. I have taught a number of them. Although I do think one of them is going to be a pain but that is more mum being the issue than the student.

[KERALA1]

Terrible idea. Both my parents teachers at my schools. Mum at primary ok but hated having dad at secondary.

You don't get your own private world away from your parents - natural for teen
I ended up being very quiet and below the radar keep head down type. Think I would have been way more confident otherwise.
You get beaten up or threatened to be beaten up by rough kids your father has disciplined.
It's social death.

I can see no benefit to it.

[madamginger]

My DD is being bullied by a teachers child, I'm sick of going in and reporting that yet again this child has been calling DD names, excluding her at break time and telling the other girls not to play with her.
The teacher is ds2 teacher and it's causing so many issues.
I've told the head if it continues I'll be escalating it to the governors.

[KERALA1]

Yes popular teachers son is a real little thug. He's spat at Dd1 and thrown rocks at her and her friends. Been in to complain. Mother real tiger mother adores son. Guess who's dd2 teacher next year..

[QueenofLouisiana]

We deliberately chose to send DS to a school 3 miles away rather than the school I teach in. It took more faffing around, cost more in childcare and was a bit difficult at times, but worth it for us.

He found it difficult to be taught anything by me- I was firmly Mummy and not a teacher (letter sounds, pencil grip etc caused massive battles). So we thought it best that we didn't share a school!

Also, as many pp have said, I was worried about children or adults feeling the need to tell me about every misdemeanour. I don't need to know if he was told off in assembly for whispering- I do need to know if he hit someone. Not everyone would see the difference.

In our staff room we have several parents and grandparents who work with us. It can cause big issues. One TA spent a week walking out of the room whenever a particular teacher came in as the teacher had told off her grandson. As the behaviour was stoically ignored by all and she missed the chat and biscuits she had to stop doing it. It's a real shame as my professional view of her has been tarnished by this.