Party non-invite

[Lovejay]

Have really tried not to be annoyed but the more I think about it, the more I am!
As my 9 year old's friends were all being handed invitations to a party (by a girl who my daughter is very friendly with) she was told by the girl that she isn't being invited as her mum didn't think she would enjoy the roller-skating anyway. Therefore out of her group of friends, she isn't going - Admittedly my daughter is nervous and anything new is a bit scary but
no one asked her whether she would like roller-skating, it has just been assumed! AIBU? Is it me or is this just rude/unkind?

[Bluebolt]

I spent 8 hours with an anxious child for DDs birthday and it was torture. They are still friends and is now fearless but that day was hell on earth and her mother said she would be OK with a little coaxing.

[bbcessex]

It's not nice to be left out . I feel for you both.

On the other hand.. I took 6 boys to a theme park last year for ds, birthday. .... included a child who's mum wanted him to go even though he was known to be nervous of the rides.
I spent a lot of the day placating him whilst the others went off and enjoyed themselves. I wouldn't do it again.

[WaterWorld]

Party invites are tough. This morning I noticed a little boy giving out invites (Y1) before school. He ran up to two little girls aged 5 and 6 who were arriving at school hand in hand and excitedly giving an invitation to one of them out of his healthy stack of envelopes. The other could not contain herself with excitement knowing that these were party invites, but he shrugged, turned and walked away - there wasn't one for her :(

I think it is a minefield and I feel for your DD, though older it still feels the same I'm sure (think Id feel it too at my advanced age!).

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

If the mum is running g the party single handed perhaps she didn't really feel she could be coaxing your dd to take part at the same time as laying out the food, dealing with any minor first aid, liaising with staff, making sure she had all kids in her line of sight etc.

Also friendships do shift at around your DD's age and they may no longer be as good friends as they used to be regardless of knowing each other from babyhood. DD had the same best friend from age 3 to 9 and they were so inseparable people used to run their names together, but although the are still friends they both now have other closer friends, and the shift started at about 9. I have o l now remembered that friend's birthday is in May so I guess for the first time in 8 years DD wasn't invited! But she has been to plenty of other parties and never even mentioned it...

[paxillin]

I feel for your dd. But I agree with pps the need for coaxing is probably the reason. For a 9th or 10th birthday you don't over-staff so much that there is a free pair of hands to coax nervous kids into joining. Aged 3 or 4 would be different.