to think most 30 somethings have a good life

[howiloveanicecupoftea]

I was talking to DP yesterday at how comfortable and lucky most 30 somethings lives seem to be these days. He said he didn't think that was the case at all but from what I see everyone has nice families with well dressed kids, nice holidays, cars, clothes etc. I didn't know if I was deluded or whether that really is the case- or not as DP seems to think!

[deVelvet]

DP & I are 33 & 36. We have 4 dc between us and we live in a rented 3 bed house.

We have no savings, have not ever been on holiday together, we run a shitty clapped out 7 seater car and we happily accept second hand clothing from relatives/friends. Our money just about gets us to the end of the month. We do not claim chb/tc

BUT, in comparison to the 30 somethings we know personally, we are very lucky. We both work, we have a roof over our head, we both drive (although one car), we have a lovely family life.

Even on the day before payday when the gas has run out and the kids are in bed - DP & I can sit on the couch under a blanket and still say we are happy.

Stuff doesn't make me happy. Having stuff doesn't even make me lucky.

We live, we provide, we enjoy the good and we get through the bad.

[ivywine]

I'm 36 and most of my 30something friends are pretty happy, but many of them rent and don't have children and/or partners, and are focused on their careers. Not at all uncommon where we are in London. We've been very lucky to buy as DH and I saved hard for 12 years since graduation to afford a big deposit. My friends and I have fairly good holidays, a good social life, and we can afford nights out often. But we don't drive and we have just the one child though, it's much more of a struggle for those who have had 2+ children around here.

[ephemeralfairy]

I'm mid 30s. No kids.

Minimum wage retail job.
Struggling to find any paid work in my own field, so I work two minimum wage retail jobs and do two volunteer roles.
DP is supply teaching at the mo so very little stability there either.

I hate the retail work but love the volunteering.

Money is a constant source of stress.

I have MH issues, on Sertraline and experiencing nasty side effects. Waiting for CBT.

I don't feel I have a good life, no. But I am so much better off than some.

[tabpepsi]

well lucky for all your friends and acquaintances!

maybe you all had teachers and manager level parents (money for your house deposit) and university fees hadn't kicked in yet! if so, you're starting from a better place than many.

there are lots of 30 somethings who graduated in the early 2000s who don't earn anywhere near into the 40% tax bracket, buy supermarket or charity shop clothes for their kids and budget tightly.

you're a bit socially unaware!

[Finallyamummy]

Yabu to generalise, however the area I live in and the people I socialise with probably fit your bill. I am early 30's, married with 1 dc. We own our home, have a car each (although mine is a company car) and we both work full time. We going abroad once every year or so and for the most part have a good life however we wouldn't have got on the property ladder without help from my parents with the deposit and I wouldn't be able to afford my car if I had to pay for it myself so you can't always assume things are what they appear to be.

[GiveMyHeadPeaceffs]

I'm in my 40's but my 30's were good and same for many of my friends. I own my own home, decent income, nice holidays, decent car and good social life. In my 40's I've just had a baby so I'm expecting to be thoroughly skint soon enough, I've hardly any social life, holidays are beyond us at the minute and my once decent car is far too small for carrying all the baby stuff. Saying that though I'm still pretty happy with my lot and wouldn't wind back the clock.

[Oysterbabe]

35 and I think our life is pretty good.
Married
We each have slightly above average salaries
One DC so far
Own our house and have a btl
One pretty old car

Most of our friends are in similar positions to us. However I would not assume that all 30 somethings are. We're very lucky and appreciate there are many who aren't as lucky.

[IcedCoffeeToGo]

Walk around a poorer area....

[2ndSopranosRule]

I think we've a good life for lots of reasons.

We're 37, married with 2 dc. Own our 4-bed house in a nice area. I got lucky with a flat I bought in 2003 and then taking advantage of low interest rates on the next property meant we had sufficient equity to afford our forever home at the age of 32.

Years of childcare has taken its toll but now that they are both in school we're able to start saving again.

We're happy barring the usual crap life occasionally throws in our direction, healthy, our dc are healthy and happy and we know what we want out of life. We feel that shared value is what keeps us going.

[TurtleEclipseofTheHeart]

This is a pisstake right?

[corythatwas]

From what I can see around me, most 50s somethings own multiple fish tanks and a plethora of books on medieval architecture. What? Something wrong with my sample? What are you on about? It's my experience, innit?

[Enjoyingthepeace]

Oh come on OP, engage brain!

My contemporaries are all healthy married professionals and SAHMs. The SAHMs with DHs earning £120k plus.

However I'm fully aware that this is just one dimension of UK life and that there are many more fortunate and many many many many less fortunate.

[twolittleboysonetiredmum]

35 and DH 38 here and we have a lovely life (I think). We have 3 healthy DC and jobs that we like most of the time. I only work PT because of childcare costs. We own (with a huge mortgage) our 4 bed house in a poor area in the North. We both have huge student loans we'll never pay off and our salaries are unlikely to increase much (public sector). We've had zero family support to get where we are.
But we have no savings, we don't go on holidays except camping holidays and never buy new clothes or items unless essential. We don't buy each other presents and run one car. We don't have up to date gadgets, I budget extensively every week for food shopping etc and things are incredibly tight towards the end of the month.
We're fairly normal amidst our peers but I know people in far worse situations to us and some in far better. Personally I feel very lucky to have what we do and thank my lucky stars that I've made the choices I have to get here as it could all be so different.

[frikadela01]

I'm 30 and while my life is OK we do live in a cheap northern city that I hate but can't afford to move from and we can't afford to save. I also struggle with the fact that I can never see an end to the grind of me and DP working full time which wfn I think I've got at least 38years of this to go, is rather depressing.

[twolittleboysonetiredmum]

So basically (long post!) I think YABU.

[Donatellalymanmoss]

There are over 8 million thirty somethings in this country I expect they all have their own story to tell.

[DadOnIce]

It is very easy to be surrounded by people who are in good jobs and comfortable and think "What unemployment? What austerity? Everyone I know is going on holiday and having an extension built!"

[Dolphinsanddinosaurs]

I think you are very lucky to be in a position where that is what you see. Through my work I deal with lots of people of all ages, who are not in any way happy, or lucky. I'd imagine that 30 somethings are the same as any other age group, some will have a lovely life, some will be having a truly shit time of it, and the majority will be somewhere in the middle, muddling along.

[bogofeternalstench]

Not true of me. In my 30's I've lived with an emotionally & financially abusive husband, got divorced, been made redundant, built up credit card debt whilst trying to keep on top of the mortgage & bill payments whilst job-seeking. I have also met and married my second husband, but we still can't afford to have children as he cannot find a job so I'm now facing the prospect of never being able to become a mother.

We're trying to cover all bills/food etc on my one low wage as we're not entitled to any benefits and he's not entitled to JSA. This means no holidays, no days out, no takeaways, no new clothes, no haircuts, no repairing or replacing broken things in the house, no chance to improve his job prospects through training or getting his driving licence.

He's getting depressed due to having been job seeking for nearly a year with no luck. I'm stressed out due to the mental strain of trying to make the finances add up. We were a very happy couple and still love each other a lot, but all this is bringing us down.

So no, life isn't a bed of roses in my 30's. And I'm less than optimistic that it's going to improve any time soon.

[ExConstance]

We are nearly 60 and DH and I had a bit of a chat about how much money we would need to replicate our lifestyle if we were 30. This meant how much income to pay a mortgage on our house, pay childcare ( we only have one dependant at uni still) At 30 you would need a net income of £2k per month more to pay for the same stuff, on the whole it gets easier as you get older.

[musicmaiden]

Oh come on, OP, you're not this naive, surely.

I am 41 with two DC and now – and throughout my thirties – I have a full-time job, decent health, house, second-hand car, simple non-lavish holidays, etc. Most of our friends have way more money than us and have extremely good lifestyles.

But it's impossible to be unaware of how bloody lucky we all are and how many people are struggling one way or another out there. If you do not realise this you really need to open your eyes.

[MaliceInWonderland78]

This is based purely on the 30-somethings I know (I'm 37).

We do mostly have a good life. Most (not all) of us have kids and most (not all) own our own homes and take holidays.

Inheritance has paid a part (though not for us).

Where people would be deemed not to have a nice life, I've found it's due to the following:

1. Doing a shit degree at a shit university;
2. Being of below-average intelligence;
3. Having children outside of marriage;
4. Having different priorities (lots of travel and 'experiences')
5. Blended families (I'm from a step-parent family so calm down)
6. Over-extending themselves and having the innate belief that they must immediately have everything their little hearts desire.
7. Not being able to count!

[corythatwas]

Simple way of working this out. Think about the number of jobs there are which are not well paid enough to provide the nice cars, holidays etc. Add current rates of unemployment. Estimate likely size of adult population covered by those two groups. Then estimate likelihood that these groups will also cover x proportion of 30-somethings.

[MrsSpecter]

from what I see everyone has nice families with well dressed kids, nice holidays, cars, clothes etc.

Look harder.

[Rebecca2014]

No, most 30 something I know don't own their own house but I'm working class and generally mix in those circles.

I would love own my own house by the age of 35 (I'm 26 now)