to let my DC have much less sleep than they apparently need?

[partridgeappletree]

DC are 9, 4 and 2. Today they woke at 7.30. We walked the mile to school/nursery then 2 yo and I played at home until lunch time when we collected dd from nursery and went to the park for an hour. 2 yo then slept for 2 hours while dd and I had lunch, painted and played with her toys together. We collected dd9 from school then went to the park and the library until 5.30.

We went home and they danced and sang until dinner at 6.30. Then they went in the garden and out the front trampolining and on scooters until 8.35 before coming in for showers and stories. It ended up being 9.50 before all three were asleep.

It sounds really late and like they should all be totally worn out but they aren't. They are never tired or grumpy, they're all extremely happy and just don't have enough hours in the day for all the things they want to do. They're rarely ill and the girls are doing well at school/nursery. My sister thinks it's appalling and that they should be in bed by 7.30 latest. Her similarly aged DC are in bed by 6.45. We're usually eating dinner then!

Aibu to continue with the way we currently do things?

[facebookrecruit]

My youngest can lie awake for ages at night. Is a little madam when I wake her up but ten minutes to come round and she's fine all day. She's the baby of her class but so smart and achieving very well so the lack of 'proper sleep' I've had pointed out to me isn't a problem

[fatmomma99]

Oooohhhhh! I've just got it.... You're putting down your sister. What you're actually saying is that your DSis puts her kid to sleep really early and her kid wakes early and you put yours down late (with their perfect lifestyle and all, obvs) and they sleep in, and you want affirmation for that.

Sorry, but that's bollocks. We tried keeping our early riser up late (as the books recommended). she still woke up at the same time, but was just really tired and couldn't cope with the day - all tearful and white-faced with black rings under her eyes. We tried several times (we were desperate) and the longest run we managed was 10 days before we just felt too cruel and caved in and put her to bed at 7. She used to be asleep before the foot hit the second step of the stairs.

She's 14 now and sleeps in fine.

Stealth boast or P.A slagging off your sister, still a BU from me.

[fatmomma99]

partridgeappletree it is extremely uncommon for children with the age gaps your children have to play together harmoniously all the time, which is what you imply with your 'gather up my skirts and run up the mountains singing "the hills are alive"....' post. What is much more common is that the kids drive each other mad, with the younger kids spoiling the games of the older ones because they're not sophisticated enough to play them (whether that's not waiting to take turns with a board game, being physically able to hold a hand of cards, or taking their 'role' in the show as directed. Leading to the younger children being upset and the older ones being frustrated. I don't know a single parent (and I work with parents) who has the experience you describe on a daily basis.

A child of 2 generally needs around 12 hrs + sleep, a kid of 4 not a lot less and a 9 year old around 10 hours per night. So I would say your kids are prob not getting enough sleep, but the hours each day your kids are unconscious seems less important than your can I say, smug litany of your children's wholesome activities.... soooo outdoorsy. Walking, trampoline, singing, dancing, playing joyously together. You also appear to have a bedtime routine which lasts for an hour and a quarter, which I would say is way OTT, but not sure because I only have 1. But it seems ridiculous to me that a 9 yr old bedtime routine is the same as a 2 year olds. Again, I've only got one child to compare to, but at 2 and 4, mine didn't bath alone - we were there. By 9, she was having showers and didn't want us in the bathroom. at 2 and 4 we read to her. At 9 she read to us or read to herself. Occasionally we'd read to her. Even if your 3 play harmoniously together all the time every day (which I just don't believe) I can't comprehend their bedtimes being identical and taking that amount of time, and all of that is even before I contemplate the time, which is the title of your post and which I haven't commented, because I don't believe everything you've listed as your justification as to why you're not BU.

My DD was an early riser, and to the poster upthread who said they'd relish one of those because they're cheery in the morning, I would assure you that you don't when their morning regularly starts at 4 am and they are thrumming with energy. And, yes, you get an evening because they're zonked and asleep early, but you're too fucked to do anything but go to bed yourself.

[Donatellalymanmoss]

I don't think those are the only two choices.

[partridgeappletree]

I prefer not being confined to the house by 7 pm. I'd much rather be at the park with the DC than sat indoors enduring rubbish on tv.

[luellabelle]

If it works for you then that fine. My eldest was always asleep by about 7.15 until he was 10 and even at nearly 14 it's rare he's wake past 9.30, which is his choice. By the time my 10 year old was 7, an early bedtime wasn't working and she goes to bed at 9. All children are different. Youngest passes out at 7 but he's usually in our room and asking for the iPad by 5.30am. Nice, I love that

[revealall]

Personally I am grateful for an early riser. Makes morning routine so much easier having a cheery well organised child. And I appreciate the early bedtime.
It seems children being up late is a bit of a thing on MN. Sort of "mine have such interesting lives they can't be in bed before 9pm".

[partridgeappletree]

That's not me Dixie.

I don't understand what's so hilarious about dancing and singing Mine are always dressing up to put on singing and dancing shows, what's so strange about that?!

My sisters DC wake at 6. Mine will sleep until around 9 at weekends, 4 yo sometimes until 10, but wake up on time and happily during the week.

I'm not sure how anything I've said is bragging. Most people wouldn't want their kids up until 10 so saying mine are isn't really something to brag about, is it?

[mogloveseggs]

They danced and sang Well it's all very little women isn't it

[Mari50]

Children are all different, and what makes me suspicious here is that these three aren't, the odd sleep pattern suits a 2,4 and 9 year old. And all the playing at the park and singing and dancing stuff, feck that's how I fill my days too. totally is not
Feel so inadequate.

[Mari50]

Fatmomma and donatella- I'm with you.

[CassandraAusten]

YANBU. If it works for your family, ignore your sister.

[AnnPerkins]

I was about the 9yo too Juneau. Doesn't she go to Brownies or anything during the week? What time does she wake up?

DS gets sent to bed at 7.30-8pm. He can live on less sleep but DH and I go to bed around 10pm and want some evening to ourselves to watch the racier stuff on telly!

[SaucyJack]

Park and library on the same day?

Steady on. You gotta save something for the weekend.

[juneau]

Your sister's 9-year-old is in bed at 6.45???? Blimey! IMO that's very unusual indeed, but I guess she's just one of those DC who needs a lot of sleep.

Your DC's bedtime is late (particularly for the 2-year-old), but as long as they're not tired during the day, can do their school activities and homework and don't seem exhausted, then its not really anyone else's business.

Don't you want to have at least part of the evening to yourselves? That's would I would miss if my DC were so late to bed.

[Donatellalymanmoss]

I think I might be tired and grumpy, maybe the OP will adopt me.

[squoosh]

We went home and they danced and sang until dinner at 6.30.

[Donatellalymanmoss]

It's not the fact that the OP says her children get less sleep that makes me think she's bragging. It's the general tone of the post. I generally couldn't give a flying fuck how much other people's children sleep.

[Rinceoir]

I don't think it's fair to say people who's children sleep less are bragging. I tied myself up in knots when DD was a baby trying to get her to nap when she didn't want to and worrying that she would be harmed through lack of sleep. Its simply become clear that she didn't need as much sleep. I don't either, generally sleep 6 hours a night with an occasional longer stretch (once a month or so).

[InionEile]

Mine are a mess by 7pm so I have to be pretty strict about their bedtimes. You must be that family I see out in restaurants at 9pm with smiling well-behaved toddlers and I am insanely jealous of!

[Iknownuffink]

If it works, why change your family routine?

[AppleMagic]

That's not true for all kids dodo. Mine go to bed at 7 and I often have to wake them up to get ready for school at 7.30. At the weekends dc2 has been known to sleep in til 9. Before anyone calls me smug I should add that dd basically didn't sleep at all for the first three years of her life so I am very, very appreciative of how well they sleep now.

[AGBforever]

My 2 monkeys are night owls and thank god! Because we both work evenings/nights so their body clocks are synced to ours (don't wake too often before 9.30/10 am they then go to sleep around 11pm. Not ideal and we're trying to move their routine forward before pre-school for the eldest next September...but they really seem to thrive on less sleep than the book (as much as we would like them to sleep more!) If it works for you and your tots then tell dsis to get over it