Crippled with fear

[IrrationalWoman]

I know I am BU.

I'm getting on a plane for the first time in a few days (short haul) with DC7 and I'm freaking out a bit. Not sure why I'm so scared, maybe because I've never been on one before. I don't really think it's a good idea to ask for vallium from the GP as I have DC to consider, might consider a couple of wines though? I don't think it will be easy to read or listen to music with DC there talking non stop

I've been watching videos on YouTube people have recorded on planes, filming their take off/landings etc and my legs are like jelly just watching how high they are off the ground! I keep hearing about turbulence being the worst part, but I'm not even sure what that is exactly? On these videos the planes seem so still and silent whilst up in the air, that also concerns me. I'll be stuck in a huge, heavy metal tube in the sky... oh dear, please someone talk some sense into me?

[RaskolnikovsGarret]

I'm not scared at all but recently have become incredibly claustrophobic, which can lead to a panicky feeling. I can never find tips to help deal with this, only to help frightened flyers. I had it quite badly on a recent 12 hour flight. I have three 2-4 hour flights coming up, and am hoping the shorter time will help me feel better.

But don't be scared OP, there is genuinely very little to be frightened of. Have fun!

[Topseyt]

It is a very common fear.

I am the same, and I have flown many times. I also live under the flight path to Stansted Airport.

I will fly, because I want to get from A to B and enjoy a good holiday. I dislike take-off and landing, and turbulence is not pleasant.

I take Kalms for a few days beforehand, which I find helps. I also order a gin and tonic from the bar trolley when it comes around, which also helps.

[MummyBex1985]

OP it's a natural fear for a lot of people I think. Rescue remedy can help, as can Valium. I take Valium even travelling with my DCs - a very low dose of 2mg and I still function just fine.

I would say though - please don't act scared around your DCs. I had to have therapy for my own plane phobia because I picked up on my mums fears as a child. My therapist said it was incredibly common to develop a plane phobia as a result of seeing scared parents.

Have a great flight

[almondbutter]

Irrational deffo do as suggested and tell the cabin crew. They are so kind to nervous people and will bring herbal tea, check in with you mid flight, reassure you about noises etc.

Many airlines now have videos for nervous fliers where the pilot explains how safe flying is and how turbulence isn't dangerous, so maybe see if you can find one of those on YouTube?

I have been on some bad flights and some awful, awful airlines (Congolese domestic) and am 100% still here and still fly. If it gets bumpy I remind myself that it's just like being on a rough road, only the road is air and winds. Good luck and enjoy yourself, it might be the start of a new passion.

[cozietoesie]

Yes. Focus on any children with you and make it a good experience for them.

[jonsnowssocks]

I used to fly then for some unknown reason got scared, started avoiding it and now I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do it again. It's such a shame, I'm going to miss out on so many experiences. My DH just goes on holiday without me (my choice) but I'm not sure what we'll do when we want to go on family holidays (am pregnant with our first dc).

YANBU at all but get on that plane, focus on your dc and your destination, you'll realise that it's nothing to worry about.

[MissRabbitHasTooManyJobs]

Yes I unfortunately saw this too :(

Really awful to say but literally every time I've been away a plane crashes the same week and maybe that's why I'm a bag of nerves.
I told my dad this yesterday and he said oh don't be soft and now it's happened. Poor people god love them.

[IrrationalWoman]

Great advice from everyone, thanks.

Just seen this on Facebook:
'An informed source at EGYPTAIR stated that Flight no MS804, which departed Paris at 23:09 (CEST), heading to Cairo has disappeared from radar.'

[Atenco]

OP, flying is absolutely wonderful, especially when it is only one hour, because the take off and landing are the best bits.

[MissRabbitHasTooManyJobs]

Hi op, I'm flying to turkey on Saturday and am petrified of flying.
Have been on many planes since I was 11, am now 38 and am still the same.
Haven't been on one though for 7 years and come from a family where both my brothers won't fly and take their dc on holiday by car/train etc.

My advice is to tell the cabin crew that it's your first time and that you're nervous.
Last time I flew I told the stewardess and she was very helpful and put me at ease.

Doesn't help that ds 13 loves watching air crash investigation etc so I've banned that from the house :)

Also take a book or magazine to distract yourself, my flight is just over 4 hours and I've got a bag ready with things I like including my favourite chocolate.
I personally don't like take off but love landing and once in the sky the odd bit of turbulence can happen it's just where the plane gets a bit wobbly, the airlines have never been safer.
I'm normally a wreck now but feel quite calm, just think of the end destination! Best of luck x

[EBearhug]

I was 25 the first time I flew, and I'very loved it since then. Flying is brilliant on a clear day with a window seat. You can look down on this tiny world. I like flying over cloud, too, seeing it from above. But when it's clear - I flew to Spain recently and had great views over the south coast and then the Channel Islands, and later, snow on the Sierra Nevada. And the only time I've seen the Aurora Borealis was somewhere over Newfoundland on a night flight to New York. It just gives you a different perspective on the world.

I really hope you discover you're worrying about nothing - there are some good ideas above, so I hope they help.

[Hidingtonothing]

I've only ever flown 4 times and am generally a very anxious person. I wasn't keen on taking off or landing the first time but wasn't bothered by the 2nd or 3rd and otherwise it was honestly fine, nowhere near as stressful as I expected. It's been over 10 years since the last time I flew but I doubt I would feel remotely nervous if I did it again and that's saying something considering I still get scared on a busy motorway I suspect it won't be as bad as you think OP and a short flight like the one you're taking is ideal for your first time

[AdjustableWench]

I don't think you're BU exactly - it's a very commonplace fear.

I absolutely love flying, but my DM refused to fly for many years because she was afraid. Then somehow my DB persuaded her to go on holiday with him to the US, so it was an 8-hour flight. She used Bach Rescue Remedy and it worked well for her. Nothing like valium, so perfectly safe with a child in tow.

And I second the advice about finding out about all the different noises: the sound of the landing gear being retracted into the airplane once it takes off is a kind of low rumbling sound that could be a bit disconcerting if you don't know what it is, but it's totally normal and safe. Also, if you're sitting near the wings, it's worth knowing that there are control surfaces that you can see moving during flight, and so on.

Your DC will probably love every moment, so with any luck his/her enthusiasm will rub off on you a bit!

[wheresthetea]

I had never flown until, like you, I went on a short haul flight of one hour. I wasn't scared at all of the plane crashing etc., but rather of having no option to stop and get off if I panicked or felt travelsick (I have anxiety which also manifests itself as fear of vomiting for some reason!) On the day, what helped was non-stop listening to upbeat music on my ipod and chewing minty sweets. Really though, it wasn't as bad as I expected. The worst part I thought was the takeoff when it can briefly feel like you've left your stomach on the runway! (Funnily enough OH says this is his favourite part of flying, obviously a subjective experience ) Then the rest of the flight is just like floating along to your destination - you might get a bit of turbulence but you'll be fine. Try to relax and enjoy it.

[londonrach]

I havent flown for years until about a month ago. I was so nervous and worried before the flight. Dh booked us seats at the front with extra space on easy jet. Seriously ive no idea why i worried its just like a bus. The staff were laughing and watching just get on with their day to day work made me completely relax. Sitting at the front was good to stop any fears! By the way its amazing view of the clouds!!!!! Enjoy your flight.

[Kariana]

Just remember you aren't just in a giant metal tube, you're in a giant metal tube with wings. It's a giant glider, it can't just drop out the sky or any of that nonsense. Honestly the worst thing will be your ears hurting due to the changes in pressure. Take sweets to suck on take off and landing, remember that the plane shaking is totally normal and stop watching the videos! (The people who post them are bound to be a bit on the more hysterical/strange side.) Also I don't recommend the wine if you get tipsy easily, this will be worse with height and dehydration will be worse. Take plenty of water for you and dc.

[Musicaltheatremum]

I fly a lot. Have been on 12 flights so far this year and have at least 8 to go. My brother is an engineer with a big airline and does their take off and performance calculations. Go into it with an open mind and you will be fine. It is a very very safe form of travel. Have one wine or a G&T and everything will be ok.

[exWifebeginsat40]

you may get drunk quicker at altitude so watch those wines.

I used to be terrified of flying. I then had a job where I had to fly a lot - 20 times a year or so. I had one trip where I flew on little twin prop commuter planes, and also a Russian airline. I'm not scared of flying any more!

[blueberryporridge]

I am terrified of flying. Lots of Bachs Rescue Remedy plus having DC with me so having to concentrate of them helped me a lot on my last flight.

[BIWI]

No. You will be able to breathe and function perfectly normally.

[gamerchick]

No you can breathe ok don't worry about that.

[IrrationalWoman]

I never even thought about the pressure is it harder to breathe when you reach a certain height? Sorry, that's probably a ridiculous question but I really have no experience of flying. Derek that's where we're going too. It's going to be an early evening flight too, if that makes it better/less turbulence? I really hope I can keep it together and not freak out in front of DC. Eek.

[cozietoesie]

That's true, Blueberry. I remember being in a flight once where I was spooked by the noise of the landing gear retracting -.quite normal but I must just have been in 'that seat' that caught the noise.

(I clutched the thigh of the man in the next seat in my panic but that's another thread I think. )