to not understand why my son's school's safeguarding officer needs to speak to me... (since ds has broken his arm)

[alittleconfused10]

namechanged.

DS is 9, he broke his wrist yesterday after playing a stair game with his brothers, he slipped fell and there we are, a bloody broken wrist. He has a cast, all fine.

He goes into school today, as normal, I get a phone call around lunch time from their safeguarding officer saying she would like a word with me regarding his wrist... now I'm stressed and don't know what it's for, but didn't get the message until I was home from work and now it's the weekend.

Does anyone know the reasons this may happen?

[Whathaveilost]

DS broke his arm and damaged his collar bone playing ice hockey about 3 months ago. I was out of the country at the time so DH dealt with it. I've just asked DH if he phoned the school (secondary) and he said no I asked if he got a phone call from a safeguarding officer and he said no. I asked why he didn't phone and he just said Jack is 15, he can explain what happened himself and it's not like he is in primary school.
I've just asked DS and he said the teachers just said things like 'only you lad!' 'Told you ice hockey was dangerous' etc.
It would seems a safeguarding policy isn't consistent across the board.

[saoirse31]

Ha ha! I've memory of myself and friend climbing on top of her coal shed to.... Who knows what!!! The roof collapsed leaving us in midst of coal and having to scream for ages... Not cos we were hurt but cos the shed door was licked so we were trapped!!! Never tried climbing from one window to next but sitting out on first floor window sills was always good!!

Hope ur D's fine. Op

[Lunar1]

They will be checking what happened that's all. I do find it really odd that you didn't go in with him and explain though.

[herecomethepotatoes]

I think you need to relax about the phone call OP. Just doing their job and not accusing you of anything.

Re. The Stair Jumping Game, I just introduced it. nearly 2 year old can do 2, 5 year old 4. I did 6 and broke a chair in the entrance hall. DH thinks we're idiots. Perhaps he has a point.

I still think the stair game is very tame compared to the things I got up to (led astray by two brothers - I would have been perfect!). We lived an an old, quite large house where dorma windows from the loft opened up onto a fair sized flat roof. We made a zipline from the chimney to a tree in the front garden when we were aged 12-15 ish using a 'Y' shaped stick as the handle. I was just being egged on to try it when our mother spotted the rope and came screaming / sprinting into the garden.

No wonder the poor lady went grey so early!

[catsrus]

I was so glad, at A&E, to be able to answer the 'where did this happen?' questions with 'at school' ditto. one of my dds pretty much had her own accident book at nursery. Between the age of 7-18 I think the final tally for her was 3 broken wrists and two ankles, one of the ankles was while staying at a friends (sliding down a mud bank on a sledge and hit a tree!) the others were done at school. IIRC the first broken wrist was done at a school disco ! She is now 25 and is travelling the world alone. Her younger dsis told me the other day that one of their favourite games as young teens used to be climbing out of one bedroom window and along the ledge into the next one. We don't live in a bungalow . Youngest dd evidently refused to play that game. Like me she is risk averse. The older two take after their father I'm guessing this was generally done when I was working and he was "looking after them" .ironically we'd had locks put on the downstairs Windows when dd1 was 3 because she'd started to open them and climb out.

One of my strongest memories of their childhood was being at a birthday party when dd1 was not quite 5. Lovely summer's day, friend's garden. All DC playing happily. I was BF dd3. I suddenly heard "mummy, mummy, look at me" and saw dd1 was at the top of a tall tree . Some of the older boys had helped her get up into the lower branches and she'd decided she wanted to go to the top. The strategy for getting her down was to say "very clever, but I bet you can't get down on your own!" . I used to joke that getting Dd1 to 18 alive was my prime objective re her. The more these stories emerge the more I realise how sensible that objective was but how much was down to good luck., she had no fear as a child, none at all, a total thrill seeker, roller coaster addict (I hate them!). As an adult she fortunately has a lot of common sense to temper the bravery - but I know I'm destined for a lifetime of worry re her. She's currently somewhere in South America..

Re the stair game - because of an awkward bend in ours it was not possible - but my best friend's older dds taught them how to play it at their house. And how to surf downstairs on a mattress! I was grateful for our boring bendy staircase.

[softboiledeggs]

Having said that me and my sisters clearly knew what we were doing when my DS is old enough I suspect I'm going to be a complete hypocrite and tell him not to do it what he doesn't know about what I got up to wont hurt him

[softboiledeggs]

Classiccost I agree this thread is asking for it to be tested out I'm seeing some of my siblings soon so I may challenge them to a rematch! Also might see if they fancy getting some bedding out to sledge down the stairs and whether we can order roller skates ... build ourselves ramps from bits of wood. We loved tree climbing too... I think I need to lose a few pounds first now mind!

Perfectly normal game as I recall

[ClassicCoast]

This thread wants me to go and see if I can still do twelve stairs, school are just checking he's ok it won't be a big deal.

[AndNowItsSeven]

I imagined his brothers would also be small children. It was a very irresponsible " game" to allow.

[saoirse31]

Yanbu op. I'm amazed at kids who've never injured themselves. I find it oddly sad that some people are so horrified about kids jumping on stairs.

[lasermum]

My dsis and I used to play the stairs game too - dsis won, she did a huge jump which propelled her through the glass panel in the front door! No safety glass in the 1970s but her only injury was a tiny scratch on her little finger. It really was a different time then.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

You honestly don't see the harm,
but your ds's wrist was broken, so there clearly is harm. Never mind a broken wrist. It's lucky one of them has not broken their neck or back.

[BeauGlacons]

Wow calleighdoodle your school must be amazing. When dd broke her collar bone in yr seven, and although I wrote to the head noting the advice of a consultant orthopaedic surgeon, the exquisitely intellectual PE teacher decided she knew better two weeks in and orders dd to change and hold the register and be ready to pick up the ball from the ball from the side of the gym. Unprotected break and she couldn't carry two bags. Still makes me cross thinking abput it. We ended up removing dd in Y 8 due to the school's uncaring and inappropriate attitude. The Sutton Trust thinks highly of the school they say.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

Well, now I know. I went to school overseas and I think they did things differently; I don't recall either of my parents ever speaking to my teachers unless it was Parent's evening. Add in the fact that the back of the school opened out onto a vast wasteground and we just roamed around it (with plenty of obscured areas) willy-nilly, and I think you'll see my experience of school doesn't quite fit with the 21st century!

Do abusive parents usually slink off then? Do none of them just brazen it out with 'Yeah, kids eh?' 'Cos I can quite easily imagine myself turning up with DS1 in a cast and being totally unsympathetic when discussing it if I thought he'd brought it on himself through not listening..... it must be difficult for teachers to know if the parent is a) disinterested in child or b) interested in child but a bit harsh on them, esp if the parent rarely collects/drops off.

[MrsGradyOldLady]

I don't think it would have occurred to me to speak to school either - I mean they can see the caste for themselves. I might have emailed but that's probably all.

I remember breaking my arm when I was about 10 and I don't remember my parents going into school either.

[CalleighDoodle]

at some of these responses about mot needing to inform the school. No they dont just get on with it at secondary. There are most likely at least 1 thousand children most probably in a building built for significantly less. Any child with an injury that can be made worse by being knocked leaves lesson 5 minutes early to get to where they need to be before the crowds. If theyre on crutches getting from one end of the school site to the other could take significantly longer. Theyll need to be in the canteen early and heading to the buses early too. Another child might be assigned to carry bags / hold doors.

Im really surprised people think it is acceptable to drop a child off at school and not mention a broken limb.

[wheresthel1ght]

Haha beau I have just read my post back and am laughing loudly whilst do is looking sort of at me!

Although to be fair when I am running around or sat on a parachute playing Granny's Washing I probably do look like an overgrown rainbow

[lougle]

LaContessa the school are expected to act in loco parentis. Part of that involves being able to judge whether the child needs medical attention. If a child arrives at school with a cast, the school has no idea which bone has been broken, when, how, how badly, whether pain relief has been given, whether any instructions have been given for resting or elevating the limb...the list goes on. A quick conversation to say 'Tom fell and broke his wrist last night. He might be tired later because we got back from A&E at 11pm. He has had calpol and should be fine but he could have some more after 12pm if he's sore. He needs to try and keep it up if he can' takes 5 minutes and gives the school enough information to take responsibility for his care.

[ohisay]

School are just being cautious I'm sure!
Did he win the game?! Our favourite stair games were either to go down in sleeping bags or race down on our tummies head first

[Linds53]

My son obviously didn't read the memo that 17 is too old to be playing daft games. His favourite (I found out when he confessed several years later) was leaping out the upstairs window on to the trampoline in the garden.

[BeauGlacons]

wheresthel1ght I now have a vision of a big brownie in charge of the Rainbows.

Sorry will piddle back to pedants corner. You did make me smile though

[wheresthel1ght]

Lacontessa - it is because in dv and abuse cases silence is a defence mechanism and they school have a responsibility to find out why it was seemingly swept under the carpet and not explained. It is a very common safeguarding flag.

As a brownie and rainbow leader I would expect whomever dropped The child off to explain what happened and anything I need to know like who to call if pain relief is needed for example. Sloping off quietly would have me asking why you aren't talking about it.

[FuzzyOwl]

I used to love that game and many other dangerous ones. My mum had to collect me from school to take me to hospital to have various bones xrayed more than once because many of these games were played during break/lunch time.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

You're meant to let the school know if they hurt themselves? that would honestly never occur to me. My thoughts would be 'Why do I need to inform the school of this? They'll see the cast for themselves so what value will I be adding by letting them know by phone?' I now see it's to check that I don't appear to be feeling guilty. Or would it be better if I DID appear to be feeling guilty? Not sure.

[Marmaladeday]

I agree it is because you didn't do a face to face. Last year my DD had an issue where she saw a family member had a mental health breakdown and I went in to tell her teacher just in case. They said then they were not worried about her because I had come in and that it would have been if they got it second hand through her it would have been a concern.